rb Page 430 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Breaking: Athletes Also Like to Jack Off to Internet
ESPN reports on a dangerous new problem facing that country's footballers:...

Will a Picture of a Drunk QB Shut You Up For a Little While?
I know, I know, you miss Will. Believe me, so do I. In the interests of moving us a little closer to the goal line, here's a drunken athlete photo: It's Giants QB Eli Manning, although whether or not his expression here is one of inebriation or, you know, the default genetic Manning visage is a ques...

Red Auerbach Passes Away
I'm too young and to fully appreciate the aura of Red Auerbach, but I do know that anyone willing to fire up a cigar on the bench before the game was over is a bad-ass. Red also coached the Boston Celtics to nine NBA championships, eight of them in a row... which also doesn't hurt his image as a b...

Cultural Oddsmaker: What Will Tiki Do Next?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Kirk Herbstreit Hates Your Funky Dance Moves
I promised you more Kirk Herbstreit vitriol, and here it is. During Thursday night's Virginia Tech/Boston College game, Herbie delights in verbally lighting up Virginia Tech linebacker Brenden Hill....

So This Horse Walks Into A Bar ...
"So yeah, then all these people start sending me letters. Crazy shit, too, like Bible verses, and poems. Like I can read poems ... I'm a horse, ferchristsakes. And now the vets are back putting me into this sling, and I'm twirling around above a tub of water like a goddamned circus sideshow. If th...

Johnny Damon, Grabbing Himself And Having Sex
Johnny Damon beats off in centerfield. At least, I think that's what she's saying. And you know, she doesn't seem repulsed by the idea... not enough to follow Damon home and mess with his war veteran father, anyway....

Find Strength Through "Pre-Milk!"
Because we feel like part of our job is to inform you, the blog reader, about all the different ways to artificially maximize your body's potential, we introduce you to the newest big thing in performance enhancement: cow afterbirth!...

An Update On America's Dorkiest Sports Feud
So remember, the Sklar Brothers-Bill Simmons feud? Simmons apparently has disliked the "Cheap Seats" hosts' comedy sensibilities for years, and, probably because it's not exactly ESPN's most popular program, Simmons has been allowed to openly mock it in his columns. The Sklar brothers have always se...

This Baby Is Not A Public Relations Stooge
Continuing in the grand tradition of cute tiny babies being terrified by professional athletes photos — a genre that hit its pinnacle with this legendary shot — we present this photo of Stephon Marbury, about to be backhanded by a child who doesn't want those cheap-ass ugly shoes....

MSNBC Is Bringing Barbaro Back
We don't know what possessed MSNBC to dig up two-month-old Barbaro content today, but they did. And the specific column that they decided to dust off for readers is a doozy. Here now is Bernie Lincicome of the Rocky Mountain News, who tapped out a heartfelt ode to everyone's favorite injured steed o...

Stephon Marbury Is Really Hungry For Some Reason
One of our favorite jokes on The Smoking Gun is the big list of backstage demands all the different rock stars have. There's something beautiful about learning that Kansas insists on being provided prune juice....

NFL Pants Party: AFC West
This is the AFC West. This is not like the AFC North. You might have noticed this earlier. This is where they play in different time zones than the one in which we live. Whew. All irrefutable facts....

Hugh Johnson Project - Update 2
Lee Corso's grandson appears to hate him. He had his grandson with him at the end when he did his picks. And he was trying to get him to say "hi" and wave (the kid is probably 6). And the kid looked miserable. Corso had to grab his arm and make it wave. - Josh...

Hugh Johnson Project - Update 1
• You know what I hate? "Oooo-EEE! Spendin' limit? Who cares? Not us, cuz them ain't our currrr-edit cards." That's what I hate....

This Book Costs More Than Most People's Yearly Salary
How much do you think you would pay for the greatest book in the world? We're talking about the definitive book on the planet, one that would somehow combine what every other book you've ever read has done for you, change your life, maybe even take out the trash from time to time. How much would y...

Planning For That Sad Time When Barbaro Leaves Us
If there's one thing we know, it's that life is short. But thanks to our new friends at Heavenly Images.com, no loved one ever has to leave us entirely. For a small fee, Heavenly Images will keep them with you forever, in a custom painting, hanging out with Jesus in the clouds. We couldn't really th...

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Barbaro
During the halcyon days of early May, a young horse named Barbaro was considered by many a possible Triple Crown winner; a victory in the Kentucky Derby only stoked more excitement, if it’s possible for excitement to be stoked. But then, as documented by The Mighty MJD on the weekend, Barbaro had hi...

NFL Season Preview: Denver Broncos
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...

We're Only 99 44/100ths Percent Pure, Ourselves
The woman on the left in this photo is Danika Schroeter. She finished second in the Canadian downhill mountain biking championships last week, finishing just one second behind Michelle Dumaresq. Dumaresq is the woman in the middle. The lady on the right ... we don't know who the lady on the right is...