rb Page 432 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Just Another Manic Monday
Before the week runs its course and we head into our pleasant weekend of barbecues and hangovers, we just wanted to once again salute the genius of CLEVELAND'S INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER Carl Monday, who continues to blow the lid of the cottage "jerking off in a library to get away from one's terrifyi...
What Being "Put Out To Stud" Can Really Mean
As recovering horse Barbaro continues to rake in the get-well cards and well-wishes from somewhat bewildering "fans," we take a moment to look at what being "put out to stud" really means. If Barbaro does survive all this, we all have an image of Barbaro spending his golden years humping around, b...
The Most Brilliant Thing You'll See All Day
So a local television station in Cleveland decided to put together an "investigative report" on the dangers of allowing your children to go to the public library....
Letters To Barbaro
As BarbaroMania sweeps the nation like a crazy horse tsunami, we pause to pay tribute to our army of commenters, who were in top form on Wednesday. Your messages to Barbaro were, um, at once inspiring and disturbing: "Get up. WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. — Jack Bauer, 35; Los Angeles, CA, USA, soon ...
You Don't Bring Me Apples, Anymore ...
OK, we'll admit it; we wrote a letter to Barbaro. Dear Babs: Get well soon, you big, crazy ungulate mammal. Sorry you got hurt, and also for breeding you with legs like chopsticks. Our bad. Well, see ya. Yeah, like you haven't written. Sure. Have you seen New Bolton Center, the hospital in Kennett...
Jake Plummer, Terror On The Road
It's easy to forget now, but for a while there last year, Broncos quarterback Jake Plummer was having a pretty cool year. The Broncos had the best record in football, some were touting him as an MVP candidate and some even thought he could lead the team to the Super Bowl. And then the blowout and ...
Isiah Is Keeping Good Company
Not to imply that matters in New York have passed the point of no return for Isiah Thomas and the Knicks — they were hammered by the Magic last night — but Knicks fans-turned-haters are now comparing him to Zimbabwe president Robert Mugabe....
Couple Of Knicks, Just Hangin' Out
Inspired by this photo of New York Knicks malcontents Stephon Marbury and Steve Francis, deranged NBA blogger J.E. Skeets imagines what a sideline conversation between the two might go like....
They Grow Their Quarterbacks Big Down There
We know that everyone is excited about Vanderbilt quarterback Jay Cutler, whom some project being drafted ahead of Texas' Vince Young and possibly even USC's Matt Leinart....
NCAA Pants Party: Arkansas Vs. Bucknell
Arkansas Razorbacks (22-9) vs. Bucknell Bison (26-4). When: Friday, 12:30 p.m. Where: Dallas....
Arkansas Razorbacks
1. Razorbacks Are Bad Asses. In the summer of 1977, school mascot Big Red III escaped from an animal exhibit near Eureka Springs. He ravaged the countryside before an irate farmer gunned him down. The following mascot, Ragnar, killed a coyote, a 450-pound domestic pig and seven rattlesnakes. Ragnar ...
Remembering Kirby Puckett
As you've surely heard by now, Twins Hall of Famer Kirby Puckett died last night at the age of 45. Puckett was a player who was impossible to dislike; he played baseball the way we all imagine we would, if we had the chance. His post-retirement career was smeared by Frank Deford's famous Sports Il...
Kirby Puckett Suffers Stroke
I've gotta bring you some sad news to bring you this afternoon. The Minnesota Twins have announced that hall of fame centerfielder Kirby Puckett has suffered a stroke and is undergoing surgery in Arizona....
Man, Tommy Maddox Has Really Let Himself Go
You know, we understand that beards are the big thing in the NFL playoffs right now, but honestly, we had no idea this guy was a starting quarterback in the AFC Championship Game on Sunday. (He's from the World Beard Championships, in case you were wondering.)...
Need Tickets ... Need Tickets ...
We were complaining, oh, two posts ago, about not enough fans being appropriately ecstatic about the conference championship games this week, but in the host cities, that's anything but the case. It's time for our weekly look at the most expensive tickets on eBay (those that actually have a bid) f...
The Broncos' Secret Success Ratio
As evidenced by our 3-5 record of predicting playoff games so far (straight up, no spread), we're notoriously lousy at pigskin prognostication. It's not like this has been the easiest postseason to predict anyway; we can only think of one prediction system that would have led to a correct Steelers...
Jake Plummer, Buzzsaw Soul Crusher
As we enter in to the biggest week of Denver quarterback Jake Plummer's life, leading up to the AFC Championship Game hosting the Pittsburgh Steelers, we feel obliged, as the only fans of The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals on the planet, to ask: How in the hell is this guy a game away from ...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Steve Serby
Yes, he once wrote that "if Tom Brady were a politician, he'd be JFK." OK, he once, on assignment at the 2001 Super Bowl, wrote an entire column off of radio quotes. OK, sure, he's at times jingoistic, hackneyed and wishy-washy. Yeah, yeah, it's true that Jets' quarterback Richard Todd once smacke...
NFL Playoff Roundup: One Big Idiot Kicker
• Ordinarily, we come down on the side of kickers, if just because we have much more of a physical resemblance to them than 350-pound ogre lineman. But it's pretty much impossible to feel much sympathy for Colts gakker Mike Vanderjagt, whose missed field goal yesterday was somehow the perfect endi...
Playoff Pants Party! Patriots at Broncos
Once again we find the Patriots fighting in one of those "respect" games. This week, the disrespected team is the Denver Broncos, who really nobody has any faith in whatsoever regardless of their record, Jake Plummer's "maturity" and the fact their defense has been surprisingly solid all year—with m...