rei Page 77 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rick Reilly®'s Hornball Simile Propels Colt McCoy's Girlfriend Into Momentary Google Fame (UPDATE)
Colt McCoy, Rick Reilly® writes, "has a girlfriend hotter than shrimp vindaloo, Rachel Glandorf." The first thing you'll notice is that he's analogizing a woman to Indian cuisine. The second: He names her, awkwardly. And now look what he's done......

Delighting In Rick Reilly®'s Massively Wrong Broncos Predictions
Reilly® has written many nasty things about "Boy Blunder" Josh McDaniels and the Broncos, presumably because the latter hired the former to replace his tandem-bike partner, Mike Shanahan. Now that Reilly's 4-12 prediction is a mathematical impossibility, let us revisit....

Rick Reilly® Has Found A New, Bizarre Way To Express His Oral Fixation
Teeth jokes are out. Tongue-bathing is in....

Book From Hell
So, by the looks of it, Rick Reilly®'s new book promises to be a thoroughly dignified affair that won't in any way represent another sad step in a once-great sportswriter's descent into self-parody and studied wackiness. That much is evident....

Contextual Advertising Knows Rick Reilly®'s Mind
Skip the column — Reilly reviews Chad Ochocinco's new book, dad jokes ensue — and go straight to the sponsored links at the bottom. You have chosen your advertising vehicle wisely, www.consumertipsweekly.net. [ESPN]...

Teams Giving Refunds For Poor Play Could Bankrupt American Sports
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Rick Reilly®'s <i>SportsCenter</i> Audition Tape
No, you weren't having a nightmare. Rick Reilly co-hosted the late L.A. SportsCenter last night and it was everything you could have hoped for and more. (You were hoping for stilted camera presence and lame fatherly jokes, right?)...

Fire It Up And Get The Skanks, Hoosiers
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories....

Jason Whitlock Stages His Own Private Sports Media Roast
In his latest, Whitlock uses the occasion of Erin Andrews' Oprah appearance to go all Jeffrey Ross-on-Bea Arthur on his colleagues. Reilly's column: "read by tens of hundreds of readers who find it while looking for Bill Simmons' column." Burn!...

Rick Reilly'®s New Column Has Sports Fella Overtones, Annoyed Readers Claim
Many readers have noticed a similarity to Rick Reilly®'s latest 800-and-out offering about fan loyalty and one the Sports Fella wrote in 2002, but considering that Reilly doesn't ever read Simmons (too many words!) it's unlikely he lifted it....

Deadspin I-Team: Who Is Rick Reilly's Virtual Bodyguard?
Avid readers of Rick Reilly®'s Wikipedia entry might've noticed a recent change: It is now, in every sense of the word, toothless....

Those Troublesome Reid Boys Are What Brought Mike Vick To Philly
Andy Reid's family drama was once completely off-limits to the press, but now that his sons Garrett and Britt have been (supposedly) rehabilitated, they've taught Coach Andy that second chances are part of his own personal journey....

Status Of Reilly-Simmons Rivalry Captured By Mediaite's Portentous Colored Arrows
The oracle at Mediaite has spoken. The green-arrowed Rick Reilly is on the rise. The red-arrowed Sporting Fellow is in decline. Reilly is squirting grapefruit juice in Bill Simmons' face! [Mediaite, h/t HabsFan29]...

Rick Reilly®'s Column Manages To Be Awful In New And Exciting Ways
Rick Reilly® has some kind words for oily mediocrity Rick Neuheisel, a coach whose sole discernible talent is that he tricks people like Rick Reilly® into writing kind words about Rick Neuheisel — and, in this case, into rewriting history....

Finally, a No-Hassle Way to Receive Semen From a Dude That Looks Like This
What mother wouldn't want a puffy, bloated, thick-necked bouncing baby boy? Thanks to a sperm bank in Los Angeles, you can make your dream of birthing Ben Roethlisberger's baby without sleeping with Ben Roethlisberger come true....

Rick Reilly®, Sportsmanship Nazi
"I hated that sweater for the same reason I hate when a player preens for the camera in the 'I'm going to Disney World' commercials," Reilly writes in his latest, thus completing his transformation into Andy Rooney....

Hey, Kirk Herbstreit's House Is On Fire!
Herbie let his local fire department burn down his home in exchange for a tax break, but the IRS wants the money anyway. He could sell his house to pay the bill if it hadn't just burned down! [Columbus Dispatch]...

Michael Vick Is Back In Business (Sorta)
NFL.com just posted this cryptic statement: "The NFL has reinstated Michael Vick on a conditional basis. The former Falcons QB will be considered for full reinstatement and to play in regular-season games by Week 6." Um. Okay?...

Actively Consuming ESPN Would Probably Help The ESPN Ombudsman
With the latest news that ESPN is well on its way to world domination, it would make sense if the man with the expressed authority to critique ESPN inhaled its media as voraciously as the rest of its core demographic....

Rick Reilly® In A One-Piece: Toothsome
Reilly® squeezes into a LZR Racer in tonight's edition of that Homecoming show no one is watching. This one features Michael Phelps and a hack columnist's left nipple. [ESPN]...