republished Page 60 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Private Stache: Magic The Gathering
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....
Totti Absolutely Hoofs Balotelli, Gets Sent Off For His Trouble
Over in beautiful Italy, Mario Balotelli is a rather controversial figure — a bit like Marmite/Ashley Cole, they either love him, or hate him. Although, in most cases, they seem to hate him. Even his own fans....
Here's An Exclusive Clip From Tonight's <em>Parks And Recreation</em>, Featuring Detlef Schrempf
Friend of the site Ken Tremendous/Michael Schur/Mose Schrute broke a lot of hearts when he left Fire Joe Morgan to create and executive produce Parks and Recreation, but it's probably for the best....
Excerpt From <em>Shit My Dad Says</em>: "Act Like You've Been There Before"
Below is a chapter titled "Confidence Is The Way To A Woman's Heart, Or, At Least Into Her Pants " from SMDS by Justin Halpern, America's premier chronicler of patriarchal affection. Buy the book, read the Tweets, pray for Shatner. Chat at 2....
Abbey Clancy Makes Her World Cup Prediction…
For those of you who prefer not to waste valuable shopping time reading up on the latest football relationships, Abbey Clancy is the lucky model who has long been on the receiving end of Peter Crouch's deep midnight kisses....
A Short Video About The Snazzy New World Cup Ball
Of course, when football was first invented, it was probably played using sheep bladders wrapped in velvet cloaks, or old fishermen skulls....
A Prayer For Steve Bartman
The following is adapted from Will Leitch's Are We Winning? Fathers and Sons and the New Golden Age of Baseball....
If Tevez Doesn’t Like It He Can Sod Off, Suggests Mancini
In political terms, the world of football closest in type to classic socialism. Everyone wears the same outfit, united in the one common goal, and no man is bigger than the club....
Stories That Don't Suck: The Kentucky Derby Is Faulkneresque, Heartbreaking And, As Always, Decadent And Depraved
Every week, Tommy will excerpt a handful of stories - old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime - that he urges you to read for one reason or another. Today, I'm filling in. Still, send suggestions: [email protected]....
Private Stache: A New Feature In Which We Revisit The Unintentionally Hilarious Sports Photography Of Yore
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....
Barcelona Turn On Sprinklers To Dampen Inter Celebrations
Of course, the law dictates that you can't just shoot people in the face for getting on your nerves any more......
Bayern Win, But Things Get Even Worse For Ribery
Ribery had an absolute shocker, whilst Robben further proved that even if you look more like a telesales adviser than a footballer, sometimes it just doesn't matter....
Excerpt From Sarah Silverman's <em>The Bedwetter</em>
The following is taken from Chapter 1 of Sarah Silverman's memoir, The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee. Chat with her in a followup post....
Stories That Don't Suck, With Special Guest Host
Today, our pal Alex Belth, proprietor of Bronx Banter, is taking the reins. He's selected four stories for your enjoyment....
Cristiano Ronaldo Scores A Beauty For Real Madrid
Ever since he cruelly turned his back on the Premier League for the paltry sum of £80million, hardly anyone over here gets to keep up with Cristiano Ronaldo's football progress. As it happens, he's still quite good....
Live Chat With Sam Lipsyte
Sam's down in the comments, awaiting both your observations on America's sham meritocracy and your penis humor. Go say hi. Don't forget to read the excerpt and buy the book....
Excerpt From <em>The Ask</em>: "... And I Pictured Titboning Vargina In A Rare Books Room"
Below is the first chapter of The Ask, by Sam Lipsyte, our funniest and foremost chronicler of fuck-up Americana. Read it and come back at 3 p.m. for a live chat with the author in a followup post....
England To Spend World Cup Build Up Sleeping In Tents
In a move commonly known as "the reverse Michael Jackson," England squad members will spend the build up to the World Cup sleeping in strange tents that have less oxygen in them than normal tents....
Man United’s European Exit Recreated Using Lego!
And they say that children can't concentrate any more....
The Spoiler’s Very Tiny Footballer List
If you think that height equates to success, then you are very wrong indeed. Look at Tom Cruise — he's as small as a pigeon. Or Al Pacino — barely bigger than a packet of Embassy Filters (probably the dinkiest cigarette on the market)....