review Page 789 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Welcome To The Last Ride Of Marta's Brazil
The sun is about to set on Brazil this summer. The land of joga bonito has fielded one of, if not the, best generations of women’s soccer players over the last two decades, but age and an inability to adapt to the rapidly evolving game could see the Seleção’s campaign in France end in yet another di...
It's Been A Long, Tough Journey For Jamaica, And Just Making It To The World Cup Is Enough
Thanks in large part to the support of Bob Marley’s daughter, Cedella Marley, Jamaica’s Reggae Girlz are about to compete at the World Cup for the first time ever. While it’d be far too optimistic to expect them to pull off any kind of shocker in Group C, if you consider Jamaica’s status (or lack th...
Australia Are Pure, Thrilling, Perilous Anarchy
Australia are front-runners for the title of most entertaining team at the Women’s World Cup. The chaotically good Matildas head to France this summer with the stated goal of winning the trophy but the more important (at least for non-Aussies) unstated goal of becoming everyone’s second favorite tea...
Free From Their Sexist, Tyrannical Former Manager, Spain Can Finally Just Play Soccer
They say that when God closes a door, he opens a window, and that wisdom is knowing to stop worrying about the closed door and start taking advantage of the open window. The metaphor applies to the Spain women’s soccer team’s experience at their first World Cup four years ago. The closed door was th...
South Africa's World Cup Debutantes Are Already Legends
No matter what happens in France this summer, the players that make up the South Africa women’s national team are already legends....
China Have One Star Attacker And A Whole Lot Of Question Marks
When you think of the most famous image in Women’s World Cup history, you don’t often remember the opponent. Brandi Chastain’s celebration after slotting home the winning penalty in the 1999 tournament has inspired the spillage of plenty of digital ink, but maybe the least remembered aspect of that ...
This Isn't The Best Germany Ever, But They Can Still Beat Anyone
For a normal national team, Germany’s recent run of relative success would be cause for celebration: quarterfinalists at both the 2017 Euros and 2011 World Cup, with a semifinals appearance at the 2015 World Cup and a 2013 Euro title. Oh, plus Olympic gold in 2016. For Die Nationalelf, though, this ...
Norway Might Have Won The Whole Thing, If Only They Hadn't Alienated The Best Player In The World
The situation with Norway’s women’s soccer team is like something out of the Iliad. In this analogy, the World Cup is the Trojan War, the Norwegian team is the heavily armed but nonetheless overmatched Greek army, and Ada Hegerberg is Achilles, the Grecian hero of otherworldly abilities who very wel...
Nigeria Have The Star Power To Go Down In A Blaze Of Glory
The question before Nigeria heading into this World Cup is the same one they’ve faced going into every other World Cup: Will this be the tournament the Super Falcons finally put it all together and make a real run? Unfortunately, the answer is probably the same as it has been in years past: No, this...
South Korea Are No Minnows, But They're Still Food For The World Cup's Sharks
The best thing you can say about South Korea coming into this World Cup is that they are fine....
France's Women Are On A Mission To Establish Worldwide Soccer Dominance
If the 100 percent non-existent aliens that purportedly flit about Earth’s skies were in fact real, and if they somehow mustered enough gumption in their lily liver-equivalent alien organs to descend upon the far superior human race and challenge us to a pair of soccer matches—one men’s, one women’s...
A Good And Smart Preview Of A Wide-Open 2019 WNBA Season
Hockey is almost over, and the NBA is basically done, so now all we have to look forward to over these impending hot summer months is a World Cup, the ability to blast Bad Girls out of our apartment windows, and some goddamn WNBA basketball. That last thing starts tonight, folks! Let’s get to the pr...
The Avalanche Were Sunk By A Bad Rule, Badly Applied
Pretend you don’t know anything about hockey. Take a look at this frozen moment of action. Where is the puck? Where is the play happening, and where is it not? Who is involved in the action, and who still has the potential to affect it? Who is violating the rules? More importantly, who is violating ...
A Non-Fanboy's Spoiler-Laden And Mostly Cranky Review Of <i>Avengers: Endgame</i>
Avengers: Endgame is not a movie. Here is where some poor Ringer writer with Bill Simmons looming over their shoulder like Dennis Quaid in that The Intruder trailer would write “it is a Cultural Event” or “it is the End Of An Era” or “it is the high water mark of brand synergy in the IP marketplace”...
Frankly An Incredibly Good And Informative, Ah, Preview Of The 2019 NBA Playoffs, Part 2
Good day to you, hoop-sport friends! It’s time for the second part of our extremely on-time and thorough preview of the 2019 NBA playoffs. Today we’ll discuss the important topics of the first-round series that begin, uh, today: When and where they’re on TV, who’s in ‘em, how they got here, and of c...
Frankly An Incredibly Good And Informative, Ah, Preview Of The 2019 NBA Playoffs, Part 1
Well hello there, casual basketball fan! Welcome back... to the crucible of champions. The NBA playoffs are upon us once again, probably within minutes or possibly even before I actually finish writing this very long (and good) blog. Oh crap!...
A Cranky And Wishful Preview Of The 2019 Stanley Cup Playoffs
The Stanley Cup Playoffs begin Wednesday, and while it is considered an incontrovertible truth that the Cup is a better entertainment than the NBA Playoffs, it is also its own hot mess in uniquely weird ways, starting with this....
The Spa Where Police Say Robert Kraft Solicited Prostitution Has Some Rough One-Star Reviews
New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft was charged earlier today with two counts of soliciting prostitution in Jupiter, Florida. According to Jupiter police, the solicitation happened at Orchids of Asia Day Spa, which was used for prostitution and human trafficking. Kraft was reportedly captured on...
Deadspin's Favorite Sports Moments From 2018
After the emotional rush of hearing the Peruvian national anthem, and seeing La Blanquirroja on a global stage for the first time in my life had subsided, the disappointment of realizing my home country’s World Cup campaign was coming to an end had rushed in. Peru had played pretty damn well against...