review Page 824 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Toast To This Smut-Filled Week of Debauchery
Thank GOD this week is over. Christ. Between going out on dates with dim-witted strippers, gloom-and-doom reports from management, litigious MMA fighters and threats from spatially-challenged U of F co-eds, this week has been a perfect storm of corporate drudgery. Well, not the stripper. But that wa...
College Football Preview: Avoiding Landmines Edition
Now that everyone knows exactly what's going to happen with the rest of the college football season, this is when something inevitably blows up. Because if there's one thing we know about the convoluted BCS system, it's this: nothing is certain with three weekends to go. Alabama still has to get pa...
Week In Review: Don't You Wish We All Could Be As Happy As Baby Mangino?
Here are some of this week's stories that didn't have anything to do with Caitlin Davis. • The Brady Quinn era begins...with a loss • How to open a beer with ...Nazi shark! • Joey Porter: professional trash talker • More trouble for the Olson family.• Barack Obama is elected: Some surprisingly good ...
Daunte Comes to Detroit, Steven Jackson Blogs
• Daunte has come out of a very short retirement, and agreed to a two-year deal with the Detroit Lions. Though the Lions aren't confirming anything at this point, the contract should be signed tomorrow. This will surely turn around their season. • When the division-leading Bills (5-2) host the Jets...
Week In Review: Yes Us Can
We're THIS close to having a new President, people. Four more days! Four more days! OK, I'm shutting this thing down, but not before we review what we've learned this week. • Erin Andrews can tuck me in any time. • Tonight, we're all Phillies fans ... except for that guy in the Padres hat. Let's get...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Washington Wizards
The NBA season has started! And this is the last team we have to preview! They are: The Washington Bullets Wizards. When last we saw them: Finished 43-39, second in the Southeast Division and fifth overall in the East. Suffered what is becoming their annual "Elimination by the Cleveland Cavaliers" i...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Utah Jazz
The NBA season has started! But, like, we still have two previews to go! Up next is a team that loves the pick-and-roll...and quiet evenings at home. They are: The Utah Jazz. When last we saw them: Finished 54-28, first in the Northwest Division and fourth overall in the West. Lost to the Lakers in ...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The San Antonio Spurs
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that is NEW AND EXCITING!! (But not really.) They are: The San Antonio Spurs. When last we saw them: Finished 56-26, seco...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Toronto Raptors
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that I'm previewing before the Spurs. Sorry, San Antonio. They are: The Toronto Raptors. When last we saw them: Finished ...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Sacramento Kings
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that may get a royal flush right down the Western Conference commode this season. They are: The Sacramento Kings. When la...
NFL Preview: Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do?
What a week for evil, HEEENGH? This probably isn't what Roger Goodall had in mind when he was going to "clean up the league". A Texans long-snapper and half of the Saints team got busted for the hilariously wimpy accusation of ingesting water pills; none have been suspended yet. Kellen Winslow got ...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Portland Trail Blazers
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that may be - just maybe - the next big thing. They are: The Portland Trail Blazers. When last we saw them: Finished 41-4...
Week In Review: What's the Frequency, Carl Monday?
Here's a photo Carl Monday submitted from commenter "That Just Happened" when the jack-happy roving reporter attended the ribbon cutting ceremony of Cleveland''s RTA HealthLine, which is a big fancy bus. Public transportation frotteurists in Cleveland should reconsider using this line to satisfy the...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Philadelphia 76ers
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that may be ready to drop a house on Boston's Wicked Witch of the East. They are: The Philadelphia 76ers. When last we sa...
Thursday Night Preview: Auburn at West Virginia
Tonight ESPN brings you a match-up of teams whose fans are pissed with their lives, their teams, and the fact that it's only October and they're already prepared to start discussing next year's football season. What's the most surprising thing about both teams so far this season? How godawful the of...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Orlando Magic
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that puts the "Orla" in "Orlando." They are: The Orlando Magic. When last we saw them: Finished 52-30, first in the South...
World Series Preview: Rays Vs. Phillies
The World Series is truly my favorite week of the year. Having the World Series going on is an excuse that gets you out of anything, every year. No matter what plans I might be forced into, all I have to say is, "Hey, the World Series is on," and people understand. You know how Will gets about his ...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Phoenix Suns
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that proves I can't friggin' spell. (The Magic preview will be up tomorrow.) They are: The Phoenix Suns. When last we saw...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Oklahoma City Thunder
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that isn't even supposed to be here today! They are: The Oklahoma City Thunder. When last we saw them: Finished 20-62, fi...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The New York Knicks
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that last season surpassed the Clippers as the punch line team of the NBA. They are: The New York Knicks. When last we sa...