ric Page 428 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Patrick Marleau Won't Be Disciplined For Hit To Bryan Rust's Head
With his first-period goal, Bryan Rust has now scored six times in this postseason—a Penguins playoff rookie record. It may be a while before his next one. Early in the third, Rust suffered what appeared to be a concussion on this hit from Patrick Marleau....

Reports: Mexican Striker Alan Pulido Kidnapped
Mexican media sources are reporting Alan Pulido is missing after reportedly being taken by armed kidnappers outside a restaurant in his hometown of Ciudad Victoria, where the Olympiakos striker had returned following the end of the Greek league season....

Spelling Bee Twitter Account Burns Dude So Hard He Deleted His Account In Shame
If you’re gonna try to roast the Spelling Bee for being soft, the worst sin you can commit is bringing that weak shit (noun: substandard effort or soft response, e.g. “Kevin liked the Warriors, but they lost because they brought that weak shit.”)....

That's Some Bat Flip
Miami beat North Carolina State tonight in ACC Tournament action, thanks to Edgar Michelangeli’s late homer. He really savored it, too—and caused a bit of a stir....

The Sharks Are In The Finals, Finally
Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau were the first two picks in the 1997 draft. They’ve played a couple thousand games in teal. They’ve both been captains, and both stripped of the “C” for perceived leadership failures and criticisms that for however good their Sharks were, they were never quite good e...

University Of Oregon Apologizes For Herd Of Bros Who Clogged A Lake With An "Incredible Amount Of Trash"
Summer’s just about here, my friends, which means it’s time to drain some brews, grill some hot dogs, and leave an “incredible amount of trash” at lakeside campsites across this great nation. Apparently, some University of Oregon bros hit for that particular cycle this last weekend, and trashed the ...

Brandon Phillips Freaked Juan Uribe Out With A Fake Tag
Major League Baseball is apparently all about fun and mischief tonight, as another NL second baseman tricked a baserunner with a deke. Daniel Murphy got Yoenis Cespedes with a fake throw earlier tonight, and Brandon Phillips caught Juan Uribe loafing off second base with his empty glove. Poor Uribe ...

Daniel Murphy Freezes Yoenis Cespedes With The Ole Fake Throw Trick
NL hitting leader Daniel Murphy and his new buddies on the Washington Nationals are in New York to take on the Mets, for whom Murphy jerked some postseason dongs last year. Washington put a whooping on New York last night, and they’re up big tonight thanks to Matt Harvey’s bad start....

Braves' Erick Aybar Taken To Doctor After Swallowing Chicken Bone
Are the Atlanta Braves cursed? Shortstop Erick Aybar was scratched from tonight’s lineup after part of his lunch got lodged in his throat....

Internet Man Flays Post-Human ESPN Shithead Darren Rovell By Tunelessly Singing His Dumb Tweets (UPDATE: There's More)
Post-human business doof Darren Rovell did some tweets tonight, like he does whenever a dollar farts. They were bad and bland in their undressed form, but Twitter user @trillballins spiced them up with dramatic vocals and now I love them. Consider this asinine joke our dude probably drafted a week a...

Reporter Says 49ers Owner Jed York Once Stuck Him With A $2100 Dinner Bill
Tim Kawakami, the longtime Mercury News columnist, hosts a podcast, and during a recent episode he told a story about 49ers owner Jed York being a rich jerk....

Why A Gut-Wrenching St. Totteringham's Day Could Be Just What Tottenham Needed
St. Totteringham’s Day, that annual spring tradition where Arsenal celebrate the moment they’ve definitively affixed local blood rivals Tottenham firmly in their league table rearview mirror for good. It is an achievement almost assumed by birthright at this point, like the Patriots winning the AFC ...

Richmond Beat Sydney Swans 101-100 On Kick After The Siren
One of Australian Rules Football’s many byzantine rules is that a player awarded a mark or a free kick as time expires may take a kick after the buzzer. Rarely, this kick can decide a game—but it did this morning as Richmond defeated Sydney Swans 101-100 thanks to Sam Lloyd’s perfect goal....

Large Bayern Munich Supporter Subdued Before Invading Live Shot
Fox Sports was live in Munich to cover Bayern’s celebration after this morning’s Bundesliga season wrap-up matches, and reporter Rhiannon Jones got a scare as a very large home supporter approached the camera—only to be scooted along by a security guard half his size. Good times, Bavaria....

Serena Williams Ate Some Fancy Dog Food And Then Crapped A Bunch
We live in wonderful times. Thanks to the miracle of technology, we are able to enjoy this first-hand account of the time world-famous tennis star Serena Williams decided to eat a spoonful of fancy dog food, which caused her to shit her brains out....

Ricardo Lockette Will Retire After Serious Neck Injury
This is one of the reasons athletes should never be begrudged for trying to get as much money as they can while they still can: their lifetime earning power can vaporize in a moment, at any moment. Seahawks wide receiver and special teamer Ricardo Lockette will announce his retirement this afternoon...

White Sox Bullpen Catcher Snatches A Homer With His Bare Hand
I like bullpen catchers. They all look like jovial dads who would be happy to help you with your math homework before heading out to the backyard to have a catch. They never get any camera time, so it’s nice to see one shine when he gets the chance:...

Report: Richard Pitino Overspent Private Jet Allowance With Permission Of Sexually Harassing Ex-AD
Remember Norwood Teague, the former University of Minnesota athletic director who resigned last fall after he sexually harassed a number of women? A recent university audit found that, apparently with his encouragement, the Gopher men’s and women’s basketball teams misspent hundreds of thousands of ...

Beer To Rebrand As America Itself
When you go to pluck a Budweiser from a cooler anytime between May 23 and the November election, it will plainly read “America,” as if brewed from our very amber waves of grain. (Though their site informs us that they borrow some of Canada’s barley waves too.) This is great news for anyone looking t...

Cop: Mario Pender Said He Wouldn't Comply With Arresting Officers Until Jimbo Fisher Showed Up
Over the weekend Florida State running back Delmarick “Mario” Pender was arrested on charges of domestic battery by strangulation and resisting arrest without violence after allegedly hitting and choking the mother of his child, and was promptly dismissed by the team. Below you can find the probable...