ric Page 597 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

South African Government Prankster Thanks "Dickhead" Blatter
On the President of South Africa's official website, there's an item honoring Sepp Bellend Blatter for bringing the World Cup. Problem is, "Bellend" isn't his middle name. "Bellend" is British slang for the knob of the penis. [thepresidency.gov.za]...

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Villanova (UPDATE)
"This was a webpage one of our basketball players had to make for a computer science course. Not an essay exactly, but definitely an excellent depiction of our student-athlete intelligence level." (Other students claim this is a fake, btw.)...

The Search For America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Starts Now
We all know that many of today's student-athletes at universities across the country do very little work inside the classroom. This series will showcase how ridiculously bare the bare minimum can be....

Ohio Governor Tramples Small Town's Right To Have A Live Freaking Tiger At High School Football Games
Massillon, Ohio, is under siege from Gov. Ted Strickland and the Humane Society of the United States over the town's tradition of stockpiling tigers for use as mascots during Massillon Washington High School football games. The indignation is palpable!...

Andy Richter Keeps An Eye On Jennie Finch's Backstop
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Harvey Pekar: American Splendorist, Dead At 70
And now the second most important man in Cleveland has abandoned both the city and this mortal coil. [Cleveland.com]...

Erin Andrews: Sideline Princess, TV Dancing Star, Stalking Victim, Wishes To Be Taken More Seriously
So she officially signed back on to the WWL to have her role expanded on College Gameday. She's also going to be spun-off to Good Morning America to do some non-sports features to prove she can be gravely serious....

The Beckham Effect, Part Deux
Wondering how Major League Soccer plans to cash in on whatever increased popularity emanates from America's World Cup run? Probably not, because they've been teasing you with it for a while now. What better time than just before kick-off of what may end up being the Game of the Century ... So Far t...

Da' Rick Rogers, Prized Vol Recruit, Lover Of Ladies Who Bite, Arrested For Brawl
Not with this enthusiastic young lass in the photo, though. No, Rogers was arrested last night at a campus bar after a donnybrook broke out. Rogers originally committed to UGA, but defected and signed with rival UT....

Rick Reilly® Talks To Lance Armstrong's Ass Again
Rick Reilly's annual exercise in mistaking Lance Armstrong for Saint Sebastian is upon us, and once again it finds our correspondent at his subject's massage table, taking in the view....

World Cup Open Thread: Uruguay-Netherlands
Semifinal No. 1 is here. Can Uruguay continue its historic run, or will the Dutch squadron fancy-footwork its way into the championship game? Try to stay cool and comment below....

England Players Robbed Of More Than Just Goals And Dignity
As if enough shame and scorn has not been heaped on the English side today, word comes out of South Africa that they were also robbed during their too-brief visit. Fortunately, justice there is swift and exacting. Unlike Wayne Rooney....

Private Stache: Dutch Lovin'
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Instant Messages You Never Want To Receive From Your World Cup Correspondent
Luke: well, i just got robbed me: what? what happened? Luke: they took my tickets man my tickets to [USA-Ghana] they pickpocketed me me: who did? ah fuck Luke: i don't know! some fuck...

The Shrieking, AIDS-Joking, Gulati-Taunting Ugly Americans Of The World Cup
PRETORIA, South Africa — A few hours before the gut-roiling USA victory here, I witnessed a tense moment of another sort when two well-lubricated American yahoos tore into Sunil Gulati, the head of the U.S. Soccer Federation. Here's how it unfolded ......

Reader Submits Alleged Post-Coital Photo Of Patrick Kane
Email accompanying this photo circulating around Chicago area: "My co-worker's friend hooked up with Patrick Kane last week... and took a picture to prove it. Apparently, he was only so-so in bed."...

World Cup Open Thread: France-South Africa; Mexico-Uruguay
We have simultaneous games today. Can France get its shit together against the host nation? Can Mexico grab a point to move onto the next round? Toggle back and forth and comment below....

Ricky Rubio Had A Miserable Draft Night, According To His (Platonic) Escort
A year ago, Ethan Sherwood Strauss worked as Rubio's league-assigned escort at the NBA Draft, which made him privy to the young Spaniard's innermost thoughts. Such as: "They drafted ANOTHER point guard? Why?" [Free Darko]...

Boston Sports Radio Show Hangs Up On Bill Walton
Former Celtic and resident NBA love child Bill Walton called in to Toucher and Rich's Boston radio show the day after Game 7. He was way too proud of his son, Laker Luke, for their tastes. Click. [98.5SportsHub]...

ESPN Prepares For Life Without Erin Andrews; A New Sideline Princess Waits In The Wings
The end of the Erin Andrews era, as of right this minute, appears moderately imminent. Some insiders think she's crazy to leave. Some think she's crazy to stay. But whatever decision Team Andrews makes, ESPN comes out victorious....