ric Page 616 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Worst American Sports Writing: Gene Wojciechowski
Writing. About sports. Sometimes it is so terrible it can make you cry, cry like a child who has learned his heroes have feet of clay. "Feet" meaning "buttocks" and "of clay" meaning "shot full of Dianabol." Here's Gene Wojciechowski....

Karen Sypher Opens Up To <i>New York Post</i>
When you're at the heart of a scandal—and everyone thinks you're crazy—who will listen to your side of the story? The New York Post will, so they've snagged a tell-all interview with Rick Pitino's dine-in lover....

Adrian Beltre Goes On The DL With An OH GOD WHY OW OW OW
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Internet Paralyzed By Michael Vick To Buffalo Rumors
Have you heard?! Michael Vick and Tony Dungy are in Buffalo right now signing an eighteen-year deal worth $4 billion. Or maybe he's not in New York State at all? Maybe you're the one who's like....trapped in Buffalo, man!...

Rick Dempsey To Make A Baseball Movie We <i>Really</i> Want To See
Columbia Pictures put Moneyball in turnaround, but former Orioles goofball Rick Dempsey has just sold them a script that sounds infinitely more entertaining than sweaty stat geeks. It's the true story of Dempsey's little league coach....who also robbed banks....

Now For Jason Whitlock's Thoughts On Rick Pitino
Topics discussed: Pussy Galore, Strange Tang, Pitino, Josh Hamilton, Reggie Miller, Monica Lewinsky, Obama and Hillary doin' it. There's something for everyone: rampant misogyny and gay-baiting! This column makes every sportswriter in America look like Betty Friedan in comparison. [FoxSports]...

And Here Comes The "Pitino Is A Baby Killer" Hysteria
Shockingly, Louisville's pro-life students are not impressed with how their coach handled the post-restaurant floor mom-banging: "Rick Pitino was willing to take his own child's life in order to cover up a cheap, tawdry affair."[ALL.org]...

Pitino Apologizes, Once Again Invokes 9/11
Rick Pitino's brother-in-law was a trader at Cantor Fitzgerald, and he died on 9/11 along with 3,000 other people, and now his and their memory is being invoked by a guy who, at best, is a floor-rutting womanizer....

Rick Pitino Deemed Unworthy Of Samford Law School's Leadership Luncheon
Rick Pitino was supposed to appear at a leadership luncheon in September at Samford's Cumberland law school. Now it seems the priapic boy genius will not be darkening Samford's door, for some mysterious reason....

Rick Pitino, Health Care Reformer
The coach's attorney says the $3,000 given to Karen Cunagin Sypher was not for an abortion but to help her buy medical insurance, furnishing America with yet another argument in favor of a single-payer model. [ESPN]...

Pitino's Contract Has A Morality Clause
Rick Pitino's contract has a couple vaguely worded clauses that could figure into whatever fate awaits him at Louisville. One refers to "acts of moral depravity," the other to "willful misconduct" that "tends to greatly offend the public."...

Slapfight!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Let's All Watch The Media Fumble Helplessly On The Pitino Story
So, obviously, this is the only story today. But is anyone else finding it odd how it's being covered? Go ahead, do a Google News search. "Pitino Paid For Woman's Abortion." Every headline is some variant of that....

Rick Pitino Is No Choir Boy
Next time a crazy-eyed blonde accuses an upstanding sports figure of some heinous acts, let's not dismiss everything out of hand. Because while Rick Pitino's not on trial, there's still the little matter of public sex and a secret abortion....

Kane Vs. Cabbie Incident "Overblown" According To Everyone
Patrick Kane's taxi cab showdown has created an usual occurrence—lawyers from both sides of the incident complaining that the media has blown it out of proportion. That's no fun....

Dan Patrick Radio Listeners: If You Need Some Tasty Ear Candy To Jumpstart Your Tuesday...
It turns out SI's Dan Patrick is filming a scene for an upcoming Adam Sandler movie tomorrow so he needs fill-ins. Who'd he pick? Unfortunately for non-deaf America, not the ESL strippers from Rick's Cabaret....

Patrick Kane Reminds You Why You Should Never Take A Cab Ride In Buffalo
The Blackhawks winger was charged with two counts of felony second-degree robbery and the always popular "criminal mischief" after punching a cab driver and stealing his money. Hey, when you grow up in Buffalo 20 cents is worth the effort....

Hockey Arrests! Aww, Just Like A Real Sport
Blackhawks star Patrick Kane was arrested this morning for punching a cabbie who didn't have the 20 cents in change he wanted. So that's assault, robbery, and I'm going to assume underage drinking charges for the 20-year-old. [Buffalo News]...

The One With Bizarro Topless Eric Snow And Other Things
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Status Of Reilly-Simmons Rivalry Captured By Mediaite's Portentous Colored Arrows
The oracle at Mediaite has spoken. The green-arrowed Rick Reilly is on the rise. The red-arrowed Sporting Fellow is in decline. Reilly is squirting grapefruit juice in Bill Simmons' face! [Mediaite, h/t HabsFan29]...