ric Page 636 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This *&%$*% Rocks!
We didn't believe it when we first heard it, so we checked in with Off Wing Opinion and, sure enough, they heard it too. The Hurricanes' Ray Whitney, as he raised the Stanley Cup Monday night: "This f*&%$*% rocks!" Yes, it does. Fine sentiments indeed on what at first looked like a Carolina sweep,...
Rather Worthwhile Hockey Game Tonight, We Think
We know we haven't been the most attentive observers of the NHL, like, at all this year, but we think even those involved in the running of the league would have to agree that it appears a wave has crested, and we're all going to need a while until the NHL excites us again. It happens. No one should...
Howard's Boner (Or, Why Refs Are A Natural Male Enhancement)
Another reason that it would have been more fun to live in the early 1900s rather than now — also on the list: speakeasies, jalopies, no Internet — is the fact that they used the word "boner" to describe embarrassing mental missteps. We wish this were still true today; we'd have Buckner's boner, W...
Heat/Mavs Game Five: The Lack Of Stack
Game Five of the NBA Finals will serve as your capper to an excellent sports weekend. And there's certainly no lack of intrigue for tonight's game. The Heat have all the momentum. The Mavs can't stop Dwyane Wade and his myriad of injuries and ailments. Dirk Nowitzki has gone into hiding. Avery Joh...
And There Shall Be A Game Seven
The Edmonton Oilers housed the Carolina Hurricane Whalers last night, cruising to an easy 4-0 victory. And thus, there will be a Game 7, and it will be good....
Jerry Stackhouse And Common Sense Have Been Suspended
Jerry Stackhouse was found to be in violation of the NBA's strict "Do Not Touch Shaquille O'Neal" policy yesterday, as the league announced that it was suspending him for Game 5 of the NBA Finals. Stackhouse committed a hard foul on Shaq as the big man was driving for a lay-up. Have a look:...
And Here Come The Heat
As True Hoop pointed out this morning, this guy must feel like a complete idiot right now....
Hey, Remember These Guys?
Not to remain so firmly ensconced on the jock of Free Darko, but we're completely fascinated with their McSweeney's column today. Namely: Has anybody noticed that Antoine Walker and Jason Williams are playing in this series? Obviously, Dirk and Shaq and Wade and Cuban are the headliners of the ser...
Fan Anger, In Still Life
An eagle-eyed reader — that is to say, by "eagle-eyed," we mean to say "actually watching hockey" — pointed out this angry fan directly after Edmonton's sudden death goal to win Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals last night over Carolina....
Live Blog: Ecuador Vs. Costa Rica
We can't say that people have been banging down our doors to spread the virtues of Ecuador, but don't look now: A win this morning puts the team in the field of 16. Costa Rica had the difficult distinction of playing the first game of the World Cup, against the host, no less....
We Have Not Forgotten About The NHL. Honest.
OK, you're right; we've been somewhat neglecting our hockey friends. It's just that it's really hard to get fired up about an NHL title in a city where ice had to be shipped in by train until 1941. (Yes, we know they were once the Hartford Whalers. And Elizabeth Taylor was once hot). But we promise ...
Jim Harrick: My Life On The D-List
We know you've been worried, but you may now relax your troubled brow; Jim Harrick is coaching again. The 67-year-old Harrick, who was fired at UCLA for falsifying expense reports, and fired at the University of Georgia for various recruiting scandals (for which the Bulldogs are still on probation),...
Did The Heat Really Make This A Series?
After staying up too late watching basketball, we woke up this morning ready to survey the NBA world's presumed newfound excitement over the NBA Finals, which showed some signs of life last evening. But that's not what we found....
Dwyane Wade: Kind Of Fun To Watch
This mighty pretty Getty Images photo, taken during one of Dwyane Wade's many free throws tonight, pretty much sums up everything we just saw: Everywhere we looked, there was Dwyane Wade, and there was Dwayne Wade only....
Is This It For Shaq, Wade And Riley?
Well, if you're not too busy waving David Hasselhoff masks like a maniac, you should certainly be intrigued by tonight's NBA Finals Game 3. The Heat obviously have to win, and the game is perhaps as important to Shaquille O'Neal's legacy as it is to Pat Riley and the rest of the Heat. Even Dwyane ...
Saying Goodbye To Rick Ankiel, Once Again
With all the activity in the world of our St. Louis Cardinals over the last week, one story slipped through the cracks a bit: Terminally tortured "prospect" Rick Ankiel, who is now 26 years old and can hardly be classified a prospect anymore, underwent surgery on his left knee and will miss the re...
Boy, The Heat Sure Look Done Already
As Free Darko pointed out, last night's Mavericks-Heat game was hardly one they'll be showing off on NBA TV in a week. The Mavericks dominated the whole way, and as little fun as it is to pronounce a series over before they even switch venues, it kind of looks like the Heat might be done....
Rileyball To Rear Its Ugly Head
Well, here we go. Pat Riley, shown above after being asked about the size of Shaquille O'Neal's penis, has made clear his intention to ugly up the NBA Finals. They're going to roll with a little more "Rileyball," which is, of course, another term for ugly basketball. For examples, see any of the ...
Lord Stanley Sashays Over To NBC
In case you haven't noticed (and judging by the ratings, you haven't *), the Carolina Hurricanes have opened up a 2-0 lead against the Edmonton Oilers in the Stanley Cup Finals. The series moves back to Edmonton (and back to network television) this evening....
Terrell Owens, Symbol For The Youth
You know, this is the NBA Finals, the World Cup, the start of some obviously exciting baseball pennant races and, of course, ant soccer. One would think it would be our one Terrell Owens-free time of the year....