ric Page 642 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ricky Williams' Presence Means Every Little Thing Gonna Be Alright
It's easy to forget that the Miami Dolphins will once again have Ricky Williams in the backfield in 2008, but he's received Bill Parcells' support (amazing) and is rehabbed and ready to go for next season. In an interview with the Austin American Statesman, we find out that Williams, at 31, is much ...

Prepare Thyself For Impending Debut Of Barbaro's Brother. Oy
Just because you have a famous brother doesn't mean that you will approach the heights of greatness yourself, as anyone who has seen a Daniel Baldwin movie will readily attest. We've previously written about Barbaro's younger brother, of course, but now the horse — named Nicanor — is ready to make ...

Dee Mirich Cranks Out The Classic Of All Classics
Many of us have wondered why prolific message board poet Dee Mirich has remained silent on the tragic Eight Belles Kentucky Derby accident. After all, when Barbaro fell, you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting one of her offerings. But now all is clear: Ms. Mirich had been working feverishly o...

Our Field Trip To Miller Park
We would like to formally thank everyone who made our visit to Milwaukee this weekend so enjoyable. We saw two NL Central "contenders" fire their closers, two games decided in the ninth inning and we even took the "hard hat" tour of the Miller Brewing plant, where we saw, first hand, why people are ...

Drinking Helmet Enhances Signs, Eases Their Display
The drinking helmet is not only a good sign complement. It's a must. [The Sports Hernia]...

Dyshod Carter Probably Not The Next Frank Lucas
Dyshod Carter, a former cornerback for the Cardinals and Browns, was one of five people arrested earlier this week for attempting to purchase seven kilos of cocaine from an undercover DEA agent at the low, low Phoenix price of $16,000 a key....

Here She Comes, Here Comes Speed Racer
Quite a messy day of Indy 500 practice yesterday, with Danica Patrick's car clipping Dale Coyne Racing crewman Charles Buckman and sending him to the hospital with a concussion. Meanwhile, rookie driver Alex Lloyd hit a wall at 223 mph during a practice run and Mario Dominguez got in a minor wreck t...

The Placement Of That Pitch Has Vexed Me, Sir. Now We Shall Wrestle
It's not really a classic baseball brawl until a tubby Don Zimmer is thrown to the turf, but this'll do. It happened on Thursday at Safeco Field: After the Rangers' Kason Gabbard tossed a fourth-inning delivery at the Mariners' Richie Sexson at face level, Sexson charged the mound and clocked Gabba...

Half The Contract's Gonna Go To Fill That Tank, Buddy
You almost had to feel bad for Hillary Clinton yesterday, still railing about gas tax holidays and superdelegates and all her white voters while the rest of the world was mercifully moving on. But that gas thing is still a problem, which you might have noticed when half your neighborhood was carpoo...

Culprit Found In Eight Belles Tragedy. It's Hillary, Of Course
Backing the wrong horse is always deadly in politics, especially when it's an actual horse. Poor Hillary Clinton. How can someone get into trouble just betting on the Kentucky Derby? By making a huge deal about placing a bet on a horse that had to be destroyed right on the track, that's how. Now PET...

Great Moments In Corporate Sponsorship
Richard Hamilton has reached many highs in his life. He has won an NCAA championship with Connecticut, and an NBA title with the Detroit Pistons. But nothing will likely ever be able to match his slot as The Flomax Difference Maker....

Gussying Up the WNBA's Rookie Class
The WNBA, like other professional leagues, holds an annual orientation for their new rookie class. Unlike other professional leagues, this orientation featured courses on hairstyles, makeup tips, and other non-pillow fighting related slumber party activities....

Newcastle Owner Now Slightly Richer
Newcastle have been on quite a run as of late, and Mike Ashley is taking full advantage. The club's billionaire owner recently strolled into his local casino (note to self: move to England) and had a seat at the roulette wheel, the greatest table game of them all. Ashley decided to make the boldest ...

BWI Isn't Just a Crappy Airport In Maryland
Cedric Benson, the oft-maligned running back of the Chicago Bears, was arrested last night by the Lower Colorado River Authority (the LAPD of southwest waterways) after being stopped for suspicion of boating while intoxicated. The 25 year-old was hosting between 12 and 15 guests on his 30-foot boat...

Media Approval Ratings: Dan Patrick
Among the many pleasures of "Costas Now" the other night was Dan Patrick explaining how the old "Big Show" was actually named ironically by him and Keith Olbermann. They called it "The Big Show" because they assumed no one was watching and had no numbers or reason to think otherwise. But people were...

It's Deja Vu In The NBA Playoffs
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is mourning the Suns today. When he's not being bummed out, you can find him hating the Spurs at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

Jeff Reed Will See Your Giant Dong And Raise You A Tiara And A Lady
Those ribald, pigskin miscreants at Thee Kissing Suzy Kolber have been gifted with a picture of Steelers' kicker Jeff Reed acting just like you'd expect Steelers' kicker Jeff Reed to act at a Las Vegas poolside bar. The three pictures of Reed show him wearing a sash, a bib and a tiara, or donning ...

You'll Never Believe What Happened Yesterday (Actually, You Probably Will)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, would like the springtime weather to actually reach Chicago. It can happen any time now. When he's not ruing unseasonably low temperatures in the midwest, he can be found trying to warm his hands at Basketbawful. Enjoy! The Maverick meltdown: Will it ever e...

1st Round, Seventh Overall: Patriots Saints Select Sedrick Ellis
The Patriots, wheeling and dealing? Next thing you know they'll be doing something shifty. Without waiting for the details, I am going to assume that they just took the Saints first round picks thru 2017 to allow them to move up five slots....

Where, Uh, Whoa, Amazing Highs Happen
Dominating the headlines this Saturday is the shocking (shocking!) admission by the Mavericks' Josh Howard that he, like every one in the NBA who isn't J.J. Reddick, smokes trees in the off-season. Also: baseball players take steroids and politicians cheat on their spouses....