ric Page 643 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Minor League Goalie Peppered With Pucks, Surrenders
Announcement: Michael Leighton is not in the mood to take out the freaking trash tonight — or for any other goddamned requests — after making 98 saves in an American Hockey League game ... and losing. Shit! Leighton and the Albany River Rats lost in the longest game in AHL history on Thursday, when ...

As If The Mavericks Don't Have Enough Problems
From the Dallas hub of the Department of Lunatics comes this head-scratching lawsuit courtesy of the one and only Jonathan Lee Riches, a man serving time in a federal penitentiary in South Carolnia for wire fraud, but who chooses to pass his time by exercising his right to file ridiculous lawsuits a...

Rich Rodriguez Era Off To A Rousing Start
Former University of Michigan offensive lineman Justin Boren is now officially an Ohio State Buckeye, a development which has caused much gnashing of teeth around college football. This is the first time ever that a Wolverines player has gone over to play for their most hated rival, which should rai...

Youth Prevails! (Except In San Antonio)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who spent most of last night scribbling CP3-4-Me all over his Trapper Keeper. When he's not man-loving on Chris Paul, he can be found practicing his Duncan face at Basketbawful. Enjoy! The doctor is most definitely in. Chris Paul may not have graduated from...

Jeff Reed Is Available If You Have Drink Specials
If you're hanging around Altoona, Penn., at the beginning of June, we highly encourage you to drop by the game between the New Britain Rockcats and the Altoona Curve. Because they've got quite the celebrity throwing out the first pitch....

Danica Patrick Finally Wins, And That's Cool With Us
Danica Patrick, known to many sports fans as "the woman who is competent enough to be taken seriously and attractive enough to be overrated," finally won a race this weekend. Some have been mocking the achievement, but we dunno, we think it's impressive. It's hard to win races, you know?...

Danica Patrick No Longer A Pretty Girl Who Can't Win Races
It feels like it took longer than Phil Mickelson's first major, but the petite open-wheeled racer finally reached the checkered flag before a bunch of chauvinistic war-starting toilet-seat-leaving-up booze-crazed horndogs in Japan this weekend, becoming the first female to win a major auto racing ev...

Ric Bucher Gets No Big Love From Angry Jazz Fans
ESPN's NBA sideline yapper Ric Bucher will most likely not be invited to any Church of Latter Day Saints picnics anytime soon. During an ESPN radio interview with Colin Cowherd, Bucher suggested that the reason Utah was one of the the toughest places to play was because their fans are so pent-up and...

Dallas Versus New Orleans: The Mark Cuban Finally Has A Coronary Series
Over the next few days, Basket Bawful and Free Darko will be previewing each NBA Playoff series. Basket Bawful looks at the Western Conference today, continuing with the series between the New Orleans Hornets and the Dallas Mavericks, which begins Saturday....

Free Darko On New Orleans-Dallas
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko and Basket Bawful. Here's Free Darko's look at the New Orleans Hornets-Dallas Mavericks series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals....

Clay Bennett Is Happy To Screw Oklahoma Too
For some reason, we imagined Oklahoma City welcoming Clay Bennett and the Sonics with arms extended, lying prostrate, screaming "thank you" to the heavens. Anytime someone does something to a city as horrible as what Bennett has done to Seattle, there has to be someone who benefits, right? Other tha...

Mike Tyson Can Turn Darkness Into Light
Are you depressed? Feeling scattered and out of control? Being chased by those pesky frowny-faced cartoon clouds all day? Well, perhaps you could go on medication and seek out professional help or you could just talk to Mike Tyson, who's offering to help lift the spirits of athletes in need. Or, at ...

Steroids? Surely You Jest
Via Steroid Nation comes this morning's New York Times report on Angel Heredia, a federal witness in a sprawling investigation of track coach Trevor Graham. Mr. Heredia has divulged the names of a dozen world class athletes, including Maurice Greene. Greene's inclusion on the list comes as a disappo...

The Masters Turns ESPN's Volume Down A Few Notches
From what we saw of it, we kind of enjoyed ESPN's Masters coverage yesterday. With all the screaming and beeping and what-not on the network anymore, it was almost pleasant to have the sleepiness inherent in Masters coverage wash over The Leader. A channel in which everyone seems afraid to raise the...

Ricky Reilly, Billy Simmons, And The Follies Of Privileged Sportswriting
This is BALLS DEEP With Big Daddy Drew (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. Enjoy....

Shea Stadium Fans Disagree With The Internet
As you might have seen by now, the Mets really were "Rick Rolled" yesterday with the playing of Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" at Shea Stadium. If they're going by crowd reaction to decided what the permanent winner is … it doesn't looks good for Mr. Astley....

We Will Never Give Up Rick Astley
Last week, we encouraged everyone to vote for The Eagles Of Death Metal to be played at Mets games this year. We clearly backed the wrong horse; it appears Rick Astley has won the competition. Kind of....

When Internet Browsers Devour Amazing Prose About Rick Reilly
Oh my sweet God. I had a really, really poignant article about Rick Reilly, the movie Leatherheads, and more thoughts on his comments about bloggers. Then of course, Firefox just had to crash at that very moment in history....

That's A Working Microphone, Derrick Rose
Now one has to wonder what Rose was afraid his teammate was going to say about him. "What do we think of him? I mean, once you get past the premature ejaculating and toenail eating, he's a pretty nice kid who can make things happen on the court. It's a good thing too, we almost forgot his Cabbage Pa...