rio-olympics - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights



Report: Kenya's Olympic Team Was Torpedoed By Their Own Comically Corrupt Officials<em></em>
Kenya finished the Rio Olympics with 13 track and field medals, second only to the United States who finished with 32. That’s a gulf, not a gap, but after reading details about how thoroughly the team was sold up the river by their own Olympic committee, I’m impressed that Kenya managed that many....

World Champion Pole Vaulter's Explanation For Positive Cocaine Test Totally Worked, Somehow
World champion pole vaulter Shawnacy Barber tested positive for cocaine after winning the Canadian Olympic trials in July, but was allowed to compete in Rio after an arbitrator ruled that he inadvertently ingested the cocaine while kissing a woman he had solicited for sex on Craigslist the night bef...

Irish Olympic Boxer Bet On Himself To Lose, Won
That fellow up there in the blue is Irish welterweight Steven Donnelly, after his round-of-16 win at the Rio Olympics. Looks happy, doesn’t he? No matter how the bout went, he couldn’t lose....

Russian Hackers Get Into WADA Data, Find Nothing Incriminating<em></em>
Perhaps feeling a little bent out of shape about how much shit their country caught for running a massive, Cold War-style doping program for Olympic athletes, a group of Russian hackers have obtained confidential documents that they claim prove American Olympians are also big fat cheaters. The only ...

Report: Ryan Lochte Suspended Ten Months Over Rio Gas Station Fiasco
Ryan Lochte has been suspended for ten months by the IOC and USA Swimming, per a report from TMZ Sports. This means that Lochte’s suspension for pissing all over a gas station then lying about it to Matt Lauer will be almost twice as long as Michael Phelps got for a pair of DUIs. ...

Inika McPherson Represented In Rio, Continues With Flair In Zurich
U.S. high jumper Inika McPherson finished 10th in the Olympic final, finishing second for Team USA behind Chaunte Lowe. She cleared 1.93 meters, but missed three attempts at 1.97 meters. ...

Dalilah Muhammad Covers Herself In Gold<em></em>
In 1974, the Iranian national women’s volleyball team competed in the well-recognized volleyball ensemble—shorts and a t-shirt—with their hair uncovered. Today they compete, heads covered, in long-sleeved jerseys and long pants....

Katie Ledecky Turned Bryce Harper Into A Medal Rack
Strong-as-hell swimming champion Katie Ledecky is from Washington D.C., and the Nationals invited her to come throw the first pitch tonight before their game against the Orioles. She arrived, as well she should, decked out in all five of her recently-acquired Olympic medals. Thankfully, Bryce Harper...

Team Great Britain Thought It Was Being Helpful By Providing The Luggage
I have few rules of airplane travel, but they are inviolable. Get to the airport ass-early, because having to wait around is worth the stress of worrying you won’t make it through security in time. Sit at the front of the plane so you can board later and get off faster. Only do carry-on if at all po...

The Calculus Of Enjoying Almaz Ayana's World Record
The Olympic 10,000 meters was eyeballs out, hands down the fastest, deepest women’s 25-lap race I have ever seen. But instead of cheers, before the race was even over, half of the commentariat lit up with shouts of “Dirty!”...

Why Don't They Just Make The Whole Airplane Out Of Olympic Venues?
By now everybody knows the modern Olympic Games system—whereby competing cities bid for the right to piss the GDP of Iceland into shabbily constructed venues that will host esoteric sports competitions for three weeks and then persist as rotting, uninhabited, politically radioactive civic boondoggle...

Actually, Horse Sports Are Good
The funny thing about bias is that it’s the necessary basis of any opinion. And now that we’ve all had our quadrennial opportunity to reinvest in mildly-biased opinions on oft-ignored athletics, it’s time to talk about horse sports, and opinions about horse sports....