rio Page 302 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Arch Criminals Make Off With Baltimore's Only Memory Of Cal Ripken Jr.
How bad has crime become in Baltimore now that The Wire is off the air? Hooligans pilfered a three-foot high aluminum number "8" from Camden Yards last week. Now no one in the city can count to nine....
Leodis McKelvin: "I Am Going To Do It Again"
Buffalo Bills fans learned how to deal with disappointment a long time ago, so today is just another Tuesday morning for them. When you've already lost 11 in a row to one team, No. 12 isn't such a big deal....
You May Now Commence Swooning
Summon the trumpets and cry the hosannas! Tackle football shall be played on the evening of the day following Sunday, and your beloved hero has returned to lead you home. Also, the Raiders will be involved....
Finally, The Harvard Crimson Will Get Some Media Attention
ESPNBoston is live. No, the URL does not just redirect to "Sports Guy's World." [ESPNBoston]...
Your Disdain for America Will Not Be Tolerated by the Newark Bears
Thomas Cetnar, an ex-cop convicted of stealing drug money, owns the Newark Bears, a minor league team managed by Tim Raines. Cetnar ejected three teenagers for not standing during "God Bless America." They're now suing him in federal court....
A Weary Nation Turns to Cornholing for Leisurely Recreation
Occasionally a sport comes along that truly defines its era. Fittingly, as Barack Obama prepares to invade the South with an army of homosexuals who will sodomize every Republican's children and pets, cornholing is suddenly all the rage....
Jay Mariotti Thinks USC’s Freshman QB Is Totally Cute
It's not uncommon for sportswriters to have man-crushes on athletes, but when you lead with this Freudian slip, you're bound to raise some eyebrows: "The afternoon sun was orgasmic. … Yet nothing was more radiant than Matt Barkley's smile."...
Why Your Team Sacks: New England Patriots
Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter grou......
One Man's Old Fake Plastic Penis Utility Belt Is Another Man's Sports Memorabilia
$750. That's how much the owner of a Mankato sports bar payed to own Onterrio Smith's storied Whizzinator. "I'd love to have the Original Whizzinator on display. ... I'm going to use it."[RandBall]...
Tom Brady's Throwing Shoulder Will Be Fine, Says Source Within Lying-Ass Organization
This was the shoulder on which Albert Haynesworth was briefly docked Friday. "There is no need for hysteria," says a source close to the tactically dishonest Patriots, who will now list Brady as "probable (shoulder)" for all eternity. [Boston Globe]...
You Can Be The Proud Owner Of Onterrio Smith's Whizzinator
It's the perfect gift for the man in your life who routinely fails drug tests. It could also be used as a funny gag gift for a 40th birthday or a Christmas tree ornament. [RandBall]...
Chinese Basketball Fans Riot Because Player Is Too Tall
China's Dream Basketball League has a height limit—no one over 6'2" is allowed. But one oversized trickster tried to sneak his way in and basically brought the league to its knees....
New Jersey Golf Course Is A Dump. Literally.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Why Your Team Sucks: Philadelphia Eagles
Some people, like asshole Daulerio, are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Boston Stands At Attention For Patriots' Opener
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Orioles Fan Overestimates His Five Tool Abilities
Quick poll question: When a guy runs on the field during a baseball game, do you root for the dude or security? Or do you just root for blood? Keep in mind, you're at an Orioles game....
Kenny Williams' No Good, Very Bad Day
First, the White Sox GM finds a moldering, $60 million fourth outfielder on waivers. Then he gets popped in Seattle for jaywalking. Only one of these things is criminally stupid....
Josh Hamilton Is More Human Than Human (And Us)
Josh Hamilton said that if he ever slipped up, the entire country would know about it and he would be labeled a hypocrite. Everyone knows about it alright, but it only seems to make his inspiring inspiration even more inspirational....
Combative Deadspin HOF Nominee Returns To Dying Industry Out Of Spite
So the rumor was true, I guess. Brooks has some sort of confirmation of the deal, apparently. [SBB]...
Linda Cohn Bravely Tests The ESPN Social Networking Policy
60,000 Cohn Heads. Now there ain't but 20,000 Bristol police in the whole town... can you dig it? [The Rookies]...