rio Page 311 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Could This Be, At Long Last, The World's Funniest Name?
Just when this Mitchell Report business had about pummeled us senseless, one brave man marched forward to bring forth laughter once again. And he didn't have to say a word. Sorry, Kosuke Fukudome ... but this guy's name has got you beat. In fact, this just may be the best name ever. Say it with me, ...
The Cubs Finally Rid Themselves Of Their Savior
This was lost in all the shuffle yesterday, so we held it for today. So: As a Cardinals fan, allow us a brief moment of sublime amusement at the Cubs' release of Mark Prior. (Not least of which because the Cardinals are reportedly very interested in the man.)...
That's A Lot Of Points, Folks
Well, the Sunday NFL spreads are out, and ... Oh My Lord. If you thought that there would be no way you'd touch the Jets-Patriots game, can Las Vegas tempt you with 24 1/2 points? And some freshly-baked lemon squares? That's right oddsmakers; Mangenius vs. Belicheat now features the largest point sp...
Who's Sorry Now? Goofed Up National Anthem Edition
If you've never had your penis regaled in song, well, you don't know just how inspiring that can be. British singer Tony Henry was belting out the Croatian National Anthem before the recent European Championship 2008 soccer match with England, but botched the lyrics, with hilarious results....
Patriots-Ravens Blogdome
What they're saying in the untrained Internet business about the Patriots' 27-24 win over the Ravens on Monday ......
Warriors Vs. Road Warriors
The NBA Closer is now written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy....
The Best MNF Game In Many A Moon
If you weren't able to stay up and make the whole "Monday Night Football" game last night, we're sorry for you: That was as terrific an NFL game we've seen all season. You can tell from the comments on our late-night post: As Larry King might say, "if that game didn't excite you, check your pulse, b...
The Patriots Might Just Be Toying With Us Now
A while back, we said that this whole "call a timeout right before a big play" business would end when someone called a timeout that nullified a great, game-winning play by his own team. That's exactly what happened tonight, thanks to an overeager timeout from Baltimore defensive coordinator Rex Ry...
Another Night That The Patriots Run The NFL
Sometimes it seems like the only major drama left in the NFL swirls around Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots. We're almost as fascinated with the Dolphins' losing streak as we are with the Patriots' winning one, but tonight, "Monday Night Football" will reap the national benefits....
The Patriots Need A Theme Song
Determined to ruin a good thing, the Boston Globe somehow decided that the Patriots need a theme song. The easy way to do this would be to search through Tom Brady's iTunes folder until something clicks (Huey Lewis and the News!), but no, the Globe is putting it up to a vote. Poems, slogans and Chri...
The Patriots Aren't The Same Without Troy Brown
Today, we thank Bill Belichick for adding the one ingredient this otherwise-inspirational Patriots team has been missing: Troy Brown is back!...
It's The End Times, People!
Not sure exactly what's going on, but just to be sure that God isn't up to some sort of Armageddon-like shenanigans, if you need me I'll be in a sealed grotto at the zoo. The Warriors — whom I believe began the season 0-6 — trounced the Suns on Monday, but that's not the big news. The Knicks have no...
The Patriots Could Lose! There's Hope!
So, in the wake of the Patriots' near-loss last night, what have we learned, kids? Does this mean the supposedly inevitable undefeated season is in jeopardy? Does it mean the Patriots are about to get angry and start winning games by 70?...
The Patriots Are, For One Night, Almost Mortal
The Eagles might have fallen just short tonight, but three important things happened....
Eagles, Patriots, Roughriders And Bombers
The biggest question regarding tonight's Eagles and Patriots game (8:15pm, NBC) isn't whether the Pats can keep their perfect season run alive. They will. It's whether or not this inevitable gong show will resemble anything even close to a competitive football game. It probably won't....
The Eagles Are HUGE Underdogs Sunday
We were pretty amazed to read this this morning: Apparently Sunday night's Patriots-Eagles game has the biggest spread in NFL history. (Well, not exactly: They're not counting expansion teams, for some reason; the Buccaneers were 24-point underdogs to the Steelers in their first season, and lost 42-...
Somebody Stop This Fight (But Don't, Please)
Hey, here was something that Isiah hadn't tried: On Monday, disgusted with what he said was a lack of effort, he threw his entire team out of practice. The results on Tuesday were sparkling, as visiting Golden State beat the Knicks 108-82. The wheels have flown off of this bus, folks, and they're dr...