rio Page 313 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Ultimate Warrior Edition
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks there's something morbidly fascinating about a guy who looks like he walked out of a Boris Vellejo painting and is also clinically insane....
Marlins Won't Care About Winning For Three More Years
It was nice of Florida Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria to arrive to spring training this morning. (He figured how how to TiVo that America's Next Top Model this morning.) And he sure has some big, I mean BIG, plans for this Marlins team in the next few years....
Would You Hire This Man To Sell Your Underwear?
So word is that Calvin Klein is driving hard to the basket, trying to lure Tom Brady as their underwear model/spokesman. For seven figures. Wow. Do I want to live in a world where Tom Brady makes more for underwear modeling than Heidi Klum?...
Whither Randy Moss?
So the NFL Free Agent Season officially kicked off today, and there was much rejoicing. But the really big news (for me, anyway) is still far way, apparently: Brett Favre is still in limbo, and Randy Moss isn't talking (although speculation is he's heading to the Panthers). Until there's news on eit...
Bill Belichick Knows Where Lesbians Love
At long last, a prominent pro sports coach has come out of the closet in a nationally- ... wait, what? Sorry. Scratch that. While Bill Belichick is the cover boy for this month's issue of Boston Spirit, the city's premier gay magazine, the mag's publisher points out that his photo was just picked mo...
Jay Mariotti Is Moved (Again)
One of our all-time favorite Deadspin posts was pointing out the ridiculous platitudes shelled out by sports columns in the days after September 11. (We were not immune from this ourselves.) One of those columnists was Jay Mariotti, whose signature schtick doesn't lend itself well to tragedy. Fortun...
The Super Bowl Commercial They Wouldn't Let You See
Can't decide if this is great or merely interesting, but my dog liked it a lot. Here's a Bud Light commercial that was supposed to have been shown during the Super Bowl, but was banned by the FCC. Found this over at BostonSportz. It's new to me, anyway....
Get Ready For The Glory And Majesty That Is The 'Name Of The Year' tournament
It's like waking up the morning before the NCAA Basketball Tournament and discovering that your favorite team has lost its eligibility (*cough* Hoosiers! *cough*). That was my reaction when I found out this morning that Brian Suksomwong has been booted from the prestigious Name of the Year competiti...
I Know What You're Wondering, And The Answer Is Yes, I Have Taped You Masturbating
Welcome to the Deadspin Guest Lecture Series. Each week, we'll be inviting various luminaries from the world of sports - players, coaches, broadcasters, and MORE! - to speak to you Deadspin folks. This week: Former Patriots assistant and eye of the Spygate maelstrom, Matt Walsh....
Who's Sorry Now? Patriots Spygate Edition
So who does one believe in this Matt Walsh vs. Bill Belichick videotaping-the-Rams-Super-Bowl-walkthrough controversy? Is Walsh, as Belichick would have us believe, a rogue agent, out there operating without any decent restraint, totally beyond the pale of any acceptable human conduct? Or is Belichi...
Rams' Lawyers Attempt to Do What Team Could Not
It's two weeks after Losergate (or, if you will, Super Bowl XLII) and people are still making a hue and cry over cheating charges leveled at the now-humbled Patriots. The latest comes from former Rams player Willie Gary and two Rams season ticket holders, who are suing the Pats, seeking $100 millio...
Finally, You Know What Those Sad And Poor Kids In Mock Title Shirts Look Like: Sad, And Poor.
The New York Post helpfully had the pictures this morning of what we've all been asking: What happened to those Patriots 19-0 jerseys?...
There's No 'I' In 'Douchebag'
Drew over at KSK asked Johnny at Metroville to write a piece about what it means to be a Patriots fan, one week later. We decided it would be a better fit here. You decide....
The Patriots Petition: Greatest Hits
Time to check in on the petition for the NFL to investigate the final 1:40 of Super Bowl XLII, as seen on Petition Online.com (and mentioned here on Saturday). Petitions on this site are usually pretty tepid, bewildering affairs: Take for example petition for the betterment of UNC football (26 signa...
In Reebok's Alternate Universe, The Patriots Are 19-0
You had to figure that Reebok filmed two versions of its Perfectville Super Bowl commercial, and indeed, here it is; as reported by Larry Brown Sports. The highlight for me is the deliveryman with the "Patriots 19-0" T-shirt … possibly the only one of those still remaining in the Northern Hemisphere...
Light Dawns On The Patriots
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....
OK, Last Photoshop, We Promise!
Except for the ones below, that is. There's just so many amusing ones out there, that it's hard to stop. And now, for the final word on Super Bowl XLII, we'll hand the mic over to Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, who as you might imagine is quite enthused with the result. In fact, it may be his fin...
'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'
Ah, Victor Thompson. Poor dumb sap. Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there; tattoos are permanent, but football winning streaks are not. Sure, it was all fun and games when he decided to get the Patriots logo etched into both sides of his skull earlier this season. What could possibly go wro...
Trying To Figure Out That Crazy Shaq-Suns Trade
It's pretty rare, in this sports world we all love, fear and hold dear, to find something that everyone agrees on. Unanimity of opinion is non-existent; we sometimes wonder if you held a poll saying, "Would you like to be punched in the face right now?" the margin would still have at least 0.001 pe...