rio Page 315 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jay Mohr, Brought to You by Massengill
This will mark the third Deadspin post this month about Jay Mohr's new gig, which is QUITE FRANKLY far more attention than he deserves, but golly, this is too good to resist: He's gone and got himself a blog. And it's brimming with treasure:...

Artest And Jackson Already Suspended For Next Season
This is an interesting way to end the blogging day: Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson were just suspended by the NBA for the first seven games of next season. Yes, you read that correctly: next season....

A Bug's Life, If That Bug Is Named John Holmes
The world has long pined for the answer to life's perpetual mystery: Is a Rangers-Orioles game more boring than watching flies screw? Well, an astute reader and his friend attended such a baseball game last night, and saw two horseflies gettin' down and procreating. Judging by these two fans' fixat...

Not Tonight, Baby, I Want To Hit The Green In Regulation
From the Department of News I Could Have Used Months Ago, a recent survey conducted by Lexus says that four out of 10 golfers in the U.S. would give up sex for a month if it meant they would achieve the perfect golf swing. Why a car company is asking these kind of questions, I'm not sure....

Danny Almonte's Big League Dreams
So this is sad: Danny Almonte, the onetime Little League World Series legend who turned out to be older than everyone had sad — and ended up marrying a woman 11 years his senior — is gonna need himself a new career....

Come Join Us At The Philly Pants Party
After a bit of a delay, we have the details for the next Deadspin Pants Party, to be held in Philadelphia on Saturday, July 14. It's all official and stuff: You can buy your tickets right here. Game starts at 3:55. We will be there, as will the esteemed balls of A.J. Daulerio....

Mark Cuban Is Suing Don Nelson For Knowing His Team
You know, it's possible that Mark Cuban isn't quite over his Mavericks' loss to the Warriors in the first round of the NBA Playoffs. How can we tell? Because he's actually suing Don Nelson for having "confidential information" and using it in the Warriors' victory. He's really doing this....

Boog Powell Would Never Had Stood For This
We just thank God that Roger Clemens wasn't around to see this. Clemens, exercising the Unlimited Vacation clause in his contract, was in Connecticut when Scott Proctor walked in the winning run in the Orioles' 3-2 victory over the Yankees on Tuesday. Evidently mindful that it was Serious Heart Cond...

Maybe There's A Reason Laurence Maroney Wants You To Wash U Ass
MediaTakeOut.com, the website everyone turns to when they want the hard-hitting truth, picked up on the Laurence Maroney items from yesterday at KSK and here, and are now, based on the below picture, insinuating that Maroney is gay....

Another Reason To Have Him On Your Fantasy Team
The man here is Patriots running back Lawrence Maroney, and Kissing Suzy Kolber has discovered that his Facebook page is not to be underestimated....

Dave Trembley Already Making Friends
We don't want to say that Baltimore interim manager Dave Trembley should perhaps rent, not buy, but ... well, it's probably a bad sign when you've had to make one real decision as manager, and your decision already has everyone wanting to fire you....

Golfers, Getting Huge
MJD told you a little about this weekend, and it's certainly been discussed, but damn: Tiger Woods is really freaking jacked all of a sudden. It has some wondering whether Tiger's appearance is what inspired the PGA to finally instate steroid testing, just a few days after the U.S. Open and after ye...

Why Would The Orioles Ever Need To Make A Change?
We don't mean to imply that it might be a tough time for Cubs fans, but now their executives are jumping ship to the Orioles....

We've Always Thought We Kind Of Look Like Youppi
In a clever conceit, the guys at Rivalfish have come up with a comprehensive list of which celebrities look like which major sports team's logos. It sounds gimmick, and it kind of is, but they've certainly put in their research, as evidenced by the (not at ALL offensive!) Chief Nok-a-Homa / Tim Curr...

This Man Knows What Athletics Really Mean
The Fanhouse discussed this yesterday, but we wouldn't help but play with it some more: There's a Massachusetts politician named Kevin Thompson who is kind of losing his mind about Tom Brady. Actually, he has a problem with athletes in general....

Last Call For All Spelling Bee Bets!
The Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee — so lovingly run down by Mr. Daulerio — begins tomorrow, and, as always, the great minds at Throwing Things will be live-blogging the whole thing. Even though Mike and Mike are calling this thing, we still can't wait: The Spelling Bee remains one of our favo...

Naked People Are Funny
Nothing beats a good streaker, kids, particularly when it's a Philadelphia streaker. And we're not particularly envious of that usher either....

Don Nelson Will Get Back To You On Whether He Believes
As George Costanza famously noted, it's important to go out on a high note. If you tell a joke at a party and get a huge laugh, you excuse yourself and quit while you're ahead. Apparently subscribing to this philosophy, Warriors coach Don Nelson — having vanquished the invincible Mavericks with a te...

Thanks For The Memories (At Least The Ones We Could Stay Up Late Enough For)
We salute the Golden State Warriors for the ride they've taken us on, but after last night's once-again-convincing 100-87 Jazz victory, they're the first team to be eliminated from the conference semifinals. And the Warriors fans are rather Zen about the whole thing....
