rio Page 324 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Gunston Sleeps With The Fishes
The folks over at The Realests are claiming victory today, saying that they have taken out the mascot of an NCAA Basketball Final Four school in a bloodless coup. We're referring of course to Gunston, the green, furry, Muppet-like creature who until recently was the costumed mascot of George Mason...
Orioles Considering Drafting Blast From The Past
The Major League Baseball draft is next Tuesday and Wednesday, and, as anybody knows, it's the most boring draft of all the professional sports. (And if you sat through any of the NFL Draft beyond the first 10 picks last year, you'll realize what a strong statement that is.) So you end up looking ...
Mariotti Now Universally Acclaimed As Lazy, Slobbish, Gassy
It's tough to decide whom to dislike more: White Sox catcher AJ Pierzynski or Chicago Sun-Times and "Around The Horn" gasbag Jay Mariotti. Particularly if you're a Cubs fan. After the big interleague tussle last weekend, Pierzynski was on "Pardon The Interruption" yesterday and went after Mariotti...
If You're Going To An O's Game, Take A Map
I rarely do public service announcements here on Deadspin, but I felt that this one was important enough. Please fans, when you're leaving an Orioles game, have directions with you. If you get lost after leaving the stadium, you will soon find yourself in a jail cell, "sleeping on a concrete floor...
"Hey, Let's Play 'Seventeen' Again." "Yeah, Bro!"
We'd like to thank Boston.com for this staggeringly brilliant photo of Doug Flutie, bringing some goddamn RAWK....
Goodnight, Sweet Dougie; May Your Dreams Involve Much Frantic Scrambling
He made it official earlier today at a press conference in waterlogged Foxborough: that scrappy, lovable Doug Flutie has finally retired, at the age of 43. As disappointed as we are to see Flutie retire — we always kind of figured he'd play until he was 60 — we are relieved as well; Flutie seems l...
Onterrio, Canada
Having been released by the Minnesota Vikings, and suspended until at least October, running back Onterrio Smith is heading to the Canadian Football League, where the laws about fake penises are much more relaxed....
The Closer: Bronx Cheer
Notes from a day of baseball ... • 1. Well, That's Two. It was a headline in The New York Times that really bothered us: 'Yankees Rough Up Angels' Colon.' But they were refering to Bartolo Colon, of course, who got pounded by A-Rod & Co. 10-1 yesterday, and hey, the Yankees are off! After beating ...
Chicago Baseball Executives Vs. Jay Mariotti (And The People Vs. Both Of Them)
Sometimes, a story comes along with absolutely no rooting interest, no good guys at all, that you end up hoping everyone will end up in a Reservoir Dogs-esque Mexcian standoff, guns aimed at each other's heads, all pulling the trigger....
Four Tiny Tidbits On: The Orioles
Baseball is here! Inspired by an old feature on The Black Table, we're previewing the season by going team-by-team and distributing Four Things You Don't Know about them. If you have suggested oddities on your team, send them to us at [email protected]. Today: The Baltimore Orioles....
One Depressing Sports Weekend
We don't mean to overstate this, but Saturday was a disappointing an evening for college basketball as we can remember. It's not just that George Mason lost to Florida, or even that they lost so convincingly. Their legend had been secured simply by making it to Indianapolis at all; any mid-major w...
Cinderella Mauled By Gator
The lead is 13 with under four minutes to play. I just don't see it happening, Patriots. And you know, I'd be upset about it if you were losing to a less likable team, but I've no issues with Florida. If this was UConn, I'd be pounding my head against the monitor right now....
Gators vs. Patriots: 5:16, Second Half
Mason's chipping back into a little bit, but Florida just keeps hitting threes. The game has certainly taken on a Florida kind of pace. Florida's up 13....
Gators vs. Patriots: 11:49, Second Half
I didn't catch much of the halftime, but man... Adam Morrison is hurting. They gave him the Chevrolet Player of the Year, and I think the man is clinically depressed. He looked down, talked softly, had nothing to say, and he hasn't washed his hair in over a month. I feel like writing him a letter ...
Gators vs. Patriots: Halftime
I was wrong about the new batch of commercials, by the way. The lame Southwest "Wanna get away?" commercials are back in the rotation, as is that fucking Capitol One angel....
Gators vs. Patriots: 3:48, First Half
I think I could watch Jai Lewis do just about anything and be entertained. Patient, smooth, controlled, quick... all at 275 pounds. I could probably even be talked into buying a Jai Lewis gay sex tape....
Gators vs. Patriots: 9:50, First Half
Hey, a Dick Vitale commercial for DiGiorno's. A few minutes ago, I felt like ordering pizza. I was really considering it. I've completely lost the taste for it, though....
Gators vs. Patriots: 1st TV Timeout
Sometimes I hate Jim Nantz and his dramatic voice. When you say "Jim Nantz and Billy Packer," there no reason to make it sound like you're doing a Jack Nicklaus career retrospective at Augusta National....
Patriots In A Major Sporting Event That You Can Actually Cheer For
It's getting to be about that time. George Mason vs. Florida will be tipping off about 20 minutes after this is posted. I'll be sticking with you through both games, dear friends, so feel free to hang around, get down in the comments, or e-mail me with any thought you have about the game, the broa...