rio Page 329 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as Gilligan ascends to Sitcom Heaven ... • Your excuse to eat vast quantities of junk food is finally here: Raiders at Patriots kick off NFL season. • MLB: Angels at Red Sox. Converging fronts of negative mojo from Yankees, A's fans collide over Fenway, causing it to rain. • U.S. Open ...
Kicking Off The Season With Satan
According to the The Boston Herald, which is being amusingly hush-hush about the whole thing, tonight's special guest at the NFL Kickoff Festivities will be Ozzy Osbourne. What does Ozzy Osbourne have to do with football? Well, Kanye West doesn't have anything to do with football either, and if Ozzy...
Raffy To Apply His Cream Back Home, Alone, Sans Earplugs
He's tried earplugs, he's tried refusing interviews, he's even tried shaving the mustache (OK, wishful thinking there), but since none of that worked, Rafael Palmeiro is taking his burgeoning erection and going home. He's officially "rehabbing his knee," in the same way that Jimmy Hoffa was "garde...
Sayonara, Sammy
It would be safe to say that it has been a difficult year for Orioles outfielder Sammy Sosa. He had that somewhat inexplicable testimony before Congress, where he apparently forgot that he knew how to speak English quite well. The Cubs ran him out of town, and he showed up in Baltimore just in tim...
Blogdom's Best: Make The Bad Mustached Man Go Away
News And Views From The Disaffected and Bored ... • It has come to this: People are blatantly begging the Orioles to dump Rafael Palmeiro. On anyone. [Camden Chat] • If Cubs fans could actually bury their team under six feet of dirt, you know they totally would. [Bleed Cubbie Blue] • Tennis players ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while calling for the assasination of Hugo Chavez ... • A's complete four-game sweep of Orioles. Strangely, Rafael Palmeiro seems weak and powerless lately for some reason. • Lions make it official, Have the word "hapless" painted on their helmets. • Agassi needs only 69 minutes to a...
Leftovers: Gates Back, Not Back, We're Confused
· Chargers tight end Antonio Gates signs contract but suspended for first game. Fantasy owners tiptoe toward ledge. [San Diego Union-Tribune] · Felix Potvin will not play in Russia. Neither will Antonio Gates, actually. [Eklund's Hockey Rumors] · Browns trade receiver to Patriots, guaranteeing immed...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Secretely Believing Your iPod Is Trying To Kill You · Arizona Diamondbacks at St. Louis Cardinals. Tomorrow night, we will be at Busch Stadium. Tonight, we'll be putting together shelves. Tomorrow wins. · New Orleans Saints at New England Patriots. When ESPN Classic repeats this ...
Road From Bristol Enters Final Four
Time for an update from The Road From Bristol, the 64-"team" tournament allowing voters to choose the most loathsome ESPN personality. We're still awaiting results of Dan LeBatard vs. Tony Reali matchup to select the last of the Final Four. But the winners so far:...
Tom Brady Masturbates Just Like The Rest Of Us
Life's tough for Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. The number of women who jump in front of traffic for him his cumbersome, $50 bills don't burn nearly as well as $100 ones and, hey, those rings are heavy. And now he's sick of being known as a golden boy. In an interview in the upcoming GQ, Brady ...
When Will Raffy Return?
Orioles roid rager — exclusive term! MUST CREDIT DEADSPIN! — Rafael Palmeiro was eligible to return last night but did not play. The Orioles are reportedly considering keeping him out of the lineup until after this weekend's series so he won't be booed by home fans....
ESPN Hollywood Has Finger On Pulse
The following two stories were promoed by The Mario Lopez Network for ESPN Hollywood on SportsCenter this morning:...
Welcome Back, Raffy!
Well, tonight is the night that Orioles 'roid monster — that's a Deadspin special moniker, by the way; MUST CREDIT DEADSPIN! — Rafael Palmeiro is eligible to return from his 10-day suspension for steroids. Currently, Orioles manager Sam Perlozzo says Palmeiro is not likely to play tonight, and th...
Get Ready: Another 'Roid Name Is Coming
Orioles roid head — that's a new name we're trying out; great, ain't it? — Rafael Palmeiro is scheduled to return to the Orioles tomorrow after serving his 10-day suspension for steroids. But many observers aren't sure he'll come back at all; Congress is still investigating him, some of the Oriol...
The Mario Lopez Experience
We are just six days away from the next undignified gallop toward hipdom attempt by ESPN2, ESPN Hollywood, a show about how athletes and celebrity mix. (Yep.) We'll focus more on the show later, but right now we're gonna talk about co-host Mario Lopez....
Blogdom's Best: Look, Bloggers Are Scooping Now!
News And Views From People Wearing Pajamas · Cardinals blog first to break news that top prospect about to join big club. [The Birdwatch] · Watch, as the Cubs fans all commit hari kari instead of Harry Carey. [Bleed Cubbie Blue] · Don't look now, but the Orioles might drop Sidney Ponson, Steve Kline...
Richardson Nailed For A Costly Dunk
We know that a new paternity suit in the NBA can hardly be classified as "news" anymore, but hey, it's still pretty fun, right? Today's hammer fell down on Warriors dunk dude Jason Richardson, who is being sued by a former paramour — that means "lady he used to do it with" — for a monthly child su...
The Sound Of MLB Blogs Silence
If you're looking for insight from Orioles fans on the Rafael Palmeiro steroid situation, what better place than MLB Blogs? Um, yeah. Hello? Anyone? (Sound of crickets). Either there are no O's fans at MLB Blogs — a distinct possibility — or they're laying low, waiting for this to blow over. Th...
We Are Not Going To Make A Viagra Joke, And Frankly, You Shouldn't Either
Palmeiro Docked 10 Days For Steroids [ESPN]...