rip Page 23 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

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Here's the random bit of sports nostalgia for ya. Via Up North Trips....

FIU Football Coach: Sorry Our Players Were Stripping On A Family Beach
Presented without comment, and transcribed for your viewing ease: ...

Spectator Picks Wrong Day To Run Alongside Tour de France Cyclist
You know this jackass couldn't wait till the Tour de France's 18th stage yesterday. You know he carefully picked out that green headband, that pink tank top, those mismatched gloves, those red socks, and those neon yellow leggings just for this. You know he absolutely had to be seen next to someone ...

Unicorn Mask-Wearing Porn Star Kicked Out Of PNC Park For Sexy Dancing
When our pal Dave mentioned last week on Twitter that "a stripper wearing a unicorn mask was just kicked out of PNC Park," we felt obligated to seek out a photo and some more information. Little did we know we'd be discovering an odd cult of unicorn mask-wearing porn stars....

Minor League Bat Dog Of 11 Years Dies
Chase, a Golden Retriever who since 2002 has fetched bats for the Trenton Thunder, passed away yesterday at the age of 13....

Vote Huxtable
Via Egotrip, dig this contest over at Bill Cosby's website where you can Vote for The Greatest Cosby Sweater of All-Time. ...

The Butler Bulldog's Training Montage Is The Cutest Damn Thing
Butler just moved into the Big East, and the university released a video montage featuring its adorable bulldog mascot to celebrate the occasion. Yes, this is a silly public relations stunt, but who cares? Lookit that doggie!...


Grip It Good
A RIDDLE: Who is stronger? Jeff, whose huge biceps pop up when he makes a "flexing" motion, as he frequently does; or his brother Jeremy, who has huge triceps thanks to endless skull crushers and "tricep kickbacks"? The answer may surprise you....

Miguel Cabrera And Chris Davis Are Chasing History And Each Other
It's July 1, the effective halfway point of the season, so it's time to take notice of what could be the American League's closest and most historic race. Miguel Cabrera has his batting eye on the first ever back-to-back Triple Crowns in baseball history. In his way is Chris Davis, himself right on ...

Honey's Play Me Close Like Butta Play Toast
Via Egotrip, dig this fun from Jay Roeder....

Health Is Bad For You: My Weird Weekend At Toronto's Fitness Shitshow
TORONTO—"Dear Toronto Pro Supershow Delegate," read a slip of paper handed to everyone checking in at Toronto's Intercontinental Hotel on Friday. "For your convenience we have 'Special Towels' through our Housekeeping Department. We recommend that these special towels/ linens be used in conjunction ...

Deacon Jones Is Forever Terrifying
What is there to say about the late Deacon Jones, who coined the term "sack," who had one of the best nicknames in all of sports (the "Secretary of Defense"), and who remains among the most fearsome pass rushers to ever play football? Lots, actually. (See here, here, and here.) But we'd rather just ...

Is The Scripps National Spelling Bee Evil?
NATIONAL HARBOR, Md.—That fucking bell. There’s always a split-second between the moment a contestant at the Scripps National Spelling Bee finishes a word and the moment that bell rings out, and in that split-second you can see everything: panic, fear, terror, embarrassment, denial, anger ... all of...

On Facebook, Rays Prospect Brags About Throwing Change At A Stripper
If you were to imagine the quintessential asshole baseball player, you'd probably end up with someone who looks a lot like Joshua Sale. Since getting drafted No. 17 overall by the Rays in 2010, Sale hasn't done much aside from earning a 50-game suspension after testing positive for amphetamines. Mor...

Soccer Player Scores, Takes Off Shorts To Celebrate, Gets Red Card
This is Mario Gjurovski, a Macedonian soccer player who plays for Muangthong United FC in the Thai Premier League. He's sometimes a scorer of good goals, we assume, and when he scored his most recent on Saturday against TOT, he celebrated by taking his shorts off....


Searching For Anything But Bobby Fischer At School Scrabble Nationals
There are 45 tables set up down in Exhibit Hall C of the Woodley Park Marriott in Washington, D.C., a hotel roughly the size of the Pentagon. Each table has a black tablecloth, a Diamond Anniversary Edition Scrabble board, a crushed velvet tile bag, two racks, four all-purpose banquet chairs (able ...

Here's A Special Bottle Of Woodford Reserve With Papa John's Name On It
If we've learned one thing about Papa John over the last few weeks, it's that he really likes to get faded. But what does Papa like to get shitfaced with? What's his drink of choice? Bourbon, apparently....

Your Heart Will Be Warmed By This Canadian Drunkard's Obituary
Alvin Cote of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, died of pneumonia on April 19th at the age of 59. He is being fondly remembered by those who knew him best: the police officers who arrested him over 1,000 times for public drunkenness....