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Report: Triple Crown Winner Justify Failed Drug Test Ahead Of Kentucky Derby
Explosive news out of the world of horse racing today: Justify, the colt that ruined the mystique of one of sports’ all-time legendary feats last summer, reportedly tested positive for a performance enhancing substance in the weeks ahead of the Kentucky Derby. Under the rules in place at the time, J...

Meet "The Fridge," Who Is Like "The Freeze" But Larger And More Cunning
Everyone loves “The Freeze,” the masked sprinter who makes a living humiliating amateur athletes at Braves games, but there is a similar hero plying his trade at Gwinnett Stripers games, and he is quite the specimen....

Mortals Foolishly Test Giannis Antetokounmpo's Grip Strength
Some YouTubers were recently invited to test Giannis Antetokounmpo’s grip strength, and they did not do well. This may come as a shock, but having hands that measure a full foot from tip of thumb to tip of pinkie are an asset when protecting the basketball. You can’t rip that thing....

I Went To SoHo To Find Kevin Durant And All I Found Was A Bunch Of Clothes I Can't Afford
Where in the world in Kevin Durant headed? is one of the most interesting questions in the NBA right now. Where in the world is Kevin Durant currently? is a much less compelling cousin of that question, but one we are somewhat better equipped to answer. Assuming that older brother Tony is posting hi...

When Your Country Is On Fire, There's Always Softball
When he lived in Venezuela, Freddy de Freitas played baseball every day of the week, except for the occasional Monday. He played and baked under the Caracas sun on weekends, and on weekdays after work he’d rush over to his local stadium to play under the lights. That was before the stadium lights st...

Competitive Musical Chairs Is New York's Friendliest Contact Sport
While holding up the remains of a wooden chair that had just been smashed to pieces, a woman yelled, “I got a splinter in my butt!” A referee wearing black and white stripes hustled over with a new chair and placed it on the grass, reconstituting the circle of chairs that was just broken. An impatie...

Some Good And Practical Ideas For Making Sure The Spelling Bee Never Ends In An Eight-Way Tie Again
Did you know that eight different children won the National Spelling Bee last night? Yeah, eight! A tween octet spelled 47 words correctly in a row, and because the Spelling Bee got rid of tiebreakers this year after having them in written form for the last two years, they all have to share in an un...

Spanish Soccer Team Celebrates Promotion With Awkward Postgame Strip Tease
With their season-capping win on Saturday, soccer club Esportiu Llançà won promotion from Catalonia’s third division (Spain’s seventh tier overall) to its second. To celebrate the team going up, one of the club’s board members arranged for a stripper to enter the locker room after the game and drop ...

Engineer Unwittingly Trips Balls On LSD From The '60s While Repairing Iconic Synth
Here is a delightful story about psychedelics to ease you into the long weekend. ...

Did Cal Ripken Jr. Sign This Painting Of An Oriole By John Wayne Gacy?
For those of you clamoring for the autographs of both a serial killer and a Baseball Hall of Famer, here’s a way to, well, kill two birds with one stone. You can buy this “original acrylic painting of an Oriole by John Wayne Gacy, which prominently features the autograph of Cal Ripken Jr.” for $9,99...

White Sox Turn Ho-Hum, Unsatisfying Triple Play
You’d think anything as rare and unlikely as a triple play would include plenty of thrills and chills, possibly one or two spills, even the odd Phil. Back in August the Rangers turned a triple play that could be described as “pretty cool.” Last April the Mariners turned one on a brain goof that a pe...

Three Mushers, One Impenetrable Blizzard, And The World's Hardest Dog Sled Race
Everything was going to be decided within the next five minutes. Three mushers and their dog teams were on top of Eagle Summit, a 3,685-foot tall gap that runs through the White Mountains in central Alaska. They were stuck in a blizzard, huddled together with their dogs as winds up to 40 miles an ho...

Conquering The Carolina Reaper Requires Self-Deceit, Milk, And A Lot Of Barf
In the same way strip malls pipe in the smell of luxury, the NYC Hot Sauce Expo must pipe in the smell of pain. The ambient tang of hot sauce greets every visitor at the door. How the mere consumption and sale of hot sauce could suffuse a huge, high-ceilinged space with its odor defies explanation. ...

Russell Westbrook Dedicates Historic 20-20-20 Triple-Double To Slain Rapper Nipsey Hussle
Russell Westbrook completed the ultra-rare double triple-double Tuesday night, in a 119–103 Thunder win over the visiting Los Angeles Lakers. The counting stats are absurd: 20 points, 20 rebounds, and 21 assists, in 37 minutes. He had 10 assists in the first quarter, and 17 by the mid-point of the t...

Robert Kraft Is The Silent Center Of The NFL Meetings
PHOENIX — The NFL’s owners are gathered at a fancypants resort here for their annual league meetings. On the agenda are numerous proposals for rules changes, and this morning was the breakfast at which the head coaches got hit with rapid-fire questions for an hour before reporters tore into the buff...

Sabrina Ionescu Made Sure She Got Her 18th Triple-Double, Then Put ESPN On Blast
When you have more triple-doubles than any player in NCAA history, who can blame you for hunting for a garbage-time rebound? By her own admission, University of Oregon star Sabrina Ionescu deliberately missed a late three-pointer yesterday to collect her 10th rebound, completing the 18th triple-dou...

Even With Chyna And The Honky Tonk Man In It, The WWE Hall Of Fame Is As Cynical As It Looks<em></em>
Last week, WWE announced that the D-Generation X stable would be the headline inductees at the 2019 WWE Hall of Fame induction ceremony over WrestleMania weekend in April. This week, The Honky Tonk Man was added to the lineup of honorees. If the WWE Hall of Fame is going to exist, it should have all...

Even With Chyna And The Honky Tonk Man In It, The WWE Hall Of Fame Is As Cynical As It Looks<em></em>
Last week, WWE announced that the D-Generation X stable would be the headline inductees at the 2019 WWE Hall of Fame induction ceremony over WrestleMania weekend in April. This week, The Honky Tonk Man was added to the lineup of honorees. If the WWE Hall of Fame is going to exist, it should have all...

Tottenham's Own Goal Somehow Makes Chelsea Look Competent
Watch out. Chelsea’s dumb meltdowns are apparently contagious....