rod Page 79 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How to Cash Out Your Change
It's around 3 p.m., and I'm starting to run out of gas. My brain just has no juice. I'm a writer, and I work best in the mornings, so I try to be typing by 7:45 a.m., and with any luck I make it till 4 before the gears start to grind and the works gum up. But not today. Today, by like 3:15, the wo...
Those Glorious Nights When Mutton-Bustin' Is On TV
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So This Is How It's Gonna Be For A-Rod, Huh?
Here's the back page of today's Daily News, the morning after the Yankees took part in a six-inning, totally informal, intrasquad "game," without actual human pitchers:...
Travis Kelce Loses Rodeo Dance Contest To Fan Nicknamed "Skim Milk"
Okay, let's get one thing out of the way here: Travis Kelce got jobbed by whoever was responsible for picking his song. You can't ask a showman like Kelce to participate in a dance contest and then hit him with "It's Not Unusual." Having said all that, even if the DJ had dropped "Booty Work" or "Dro...
Alex Rodriguez Criticized For Showing Up Early To Camp
Yankees position players are scheduled to report to spring training on Wednesday. Alex Rodriguez showed up yesterday to start working out and running drills. Naturally, the New York Daily News, which has been leading the torches-and-pitchforks mob against Rodriguez for a long time, found someone who...
Frank Caliendo Reads A-Rod's Apology Letter In Morgan Freeman's Voice
I'm not even sure why this bit is funny to me, but I laughed the first time and now I'm laughing the second time. As long as Frank Caliendo keeps reading overwrought athlete letters in Morgan Freeman's voice, he's okay with me....
This Big A-Rod Profile Might Actually Make You Feel Bad For A-Rod
J.R. Moehringer has a huge feature about Alex Rodriguez on ESPN.com today. It's a well-reported, in-depth look at everything Rodriguez has been up to since being banned from baseball for 162 games for using PEDs. There's a lot going on in the story, and you should really read the whole thing, but pe...
Screencap Classix: See You All In A Few Years
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A-Rod Apologizes To Fans With Dopey Handwritten Letter
This is wonderful. Alex Rodriguez has released a handwritten(!) letter in which he apologizes to all of his fans for, uh, whatever it is we've all decided he needs to apologize for. This idea was surely thought up by some overpaid brand consultant. "Alex, our data shows that baseball fans associate ...
Court Docs Allege Tony Bosch Spent MLB's Money On Strippers And Clubs
Two years after it was first broken, the Biogenesis saga in South Florida continues to reveal hilarious details about how Major League Baseball conducts business. The Miami New Times reports on the criminal case against Lazer Collazo, an associate of Biogenesis founder Tony Bosch, who is charged wit...
Aaron Rodgers Doesn't Think God Is A Football Fan
Lots of people talkin' about God and football these days! Just a day after Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson blamed his four-interception NFC Championship game performance on God, Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, who was vanquished by Wilson (and possibly the Lord Almighty?!) in that game, was...
A-Rod Turns To Unlikely Source To Assist His Comeback: Barry Bonds
At 39 and having missed the entire 2014 season due to suspension, Alex Rodriguez is attempting an improbable comeback. His skills were already rapidly declining in 2013—in 44 games he posted his lowest batting average and slugging percentage since 1995, and his fielding has been getting worse for ...
Aaron Rodgers Likes To Tamper With Footballs, Too
We have now reached the point in the New England Patriots' Ballghazi scandal where Patriots fans can start claiming that the team didn't do anything that every other team in the NFL isn't also doing. ...
How To Clean A Frat House, And Keep It That Way
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
A-Rod's Ex-Brother-In-Law Sues Him Over Sketchy Real Estate Deal
Of course Alex Rodriguez is getting sued for selling some good investment property and stiffing his business partner out of the cash. Because you ain't fooling me with your pinstripes and New York City address, A-Rod. You're from Miami, and you're only a true Miami bro when you've screwed someone ov...
Report: Suh Says He Stepped On Aaron Rodgers Because His Feet Were Numb
Ndamukong Suh won an appeal of his one-game suspension for stepping on Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, and according to ESPN's Adam Schefter, Suh argued innocence by claiming that his feet were numb from the cold....
Newspaper Tweets, Deletes Perfectly Good Aaron Rodgers Penis Joke
The St. Paul Pioneer Press has a quick story on Aaron Rodgers's good-luck charm--the beard of a Lambeau communications technician, which the QB gives a playful li'l fondle during games. Above is how the paper sent it out on Twitter this morning; it was quickly deleted, because Americans just don't a...