rude Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Raiders Give 10-Year Contract To Guy Who Hasn't Coached Since 2009
ESPN might not be the first stop for sports highlights, but it’s apparently the place to poach vintage coaching talent. Multiple outlets have reported that Monday Night Football analyst Jon Gruden is set to finally make his rumored move to become the next head coach of the Raiders. Contract details...
ESPN: Our Employee Jon Gruden Will Be Next Raiders Coach
ESPN is reporting its employee Jon Gruden will leave the company after eight years and take his turkey hole to the Raiders, where he started his head coaching career 20 years ago. The deal to bring Gruden back to coaching could include giving him a chunk of team ownership, again according to ESPN. ...
Report: The Raiders Are Prepared To Dump Out Their Wallets For Jon Gruden
Jon Gruden coached in Oakland for four good years, leading the Raiders to four consecutive .500-or-better seasons, including two playoff appearances and an AFC Championship game. In the 16 seasons since the franchise traded him to the Buccaneers, the Raiders have had four .500-or-better seasons, and...
Why Does Jon Gruden Think The Philadelphia Stadiums Are "Downtown"?
Philadelphia teams have been tanking incompetently since before Sam Hinkie was alive. The 1968 Eagles started out 0-11 and looked like a lock to draft O.J. Simpson No. 1 overall. Then they won two straight to ensure that the Bills would have the top pick. In their 14th and final game that year, a yo...
I Call That The Turkey Hole
In which Jon Gruden speaks at length about turkey holes:...
Jon Gruden's Hulked-Out Son Deuce Is Now A Champion Powerlifter
Deuce Gruden (born Jon Gruden II) is an assistant strength and conditioning coach with his uncle Jay’s NFL team, and he’s also a tiny, powerful weightlifting genius. The 23-year-old is 5-foot-5 and he told TMZ earlier this afternoon that he can squat 622 pounds, which seems like a lot....
Show Me Your Favorite Marcus Smart Highlight
While watching the Cavaliers beat the Celtics in Game 4 of the Eastern Conference finals last night, I sent a rude tweet:...
Canadian PM Justin Trudeau: At A Bar, Flush The Urinal With Your Elbow
Friend of the program Jonah Keri landed a heck of an interview for his podcast today: Canadian prime minster/mega-hunk Justin Trudeau. Montreal-native Keri and the PM had an excellent conversation about politics and the Canadian identity (or lack of one), and how Trudeau managed to build a cabinet t...
Even You, Wasting Time At Your Job Right Now, Are Not Phoning It In As Badly As This Tennis Player
Bernard Tomic is the second-best prospect from Australia and now, miraculously, the first-best at not giving a shit. That’s quite an accomplishment given the oeuvre of his close friend and compatriot Nick Kyrgios, who tanked his way to a $25,000 fine and hit a tweener at the climax of a fifth-set co...
The Nets Lost Again, But Brook Lopez Blocked The Shit Out Of Rodney McGruder
Ever since he somehow survived Larry Nance, Jr. dropping a piano on his head, Brook Lopez has been biding his time, waiting patiently for an opportunity to earn his soul back from the basketball gods. That time came in the third quarter of Friday night’s game against the Miami Heat; in related news,...
Jon Gruden Has Had It With These Geniuses Who Are Ruining Football
The New York Times ran a story this morning on USA Football’s annual conference down in Orlando where officials met and discussed, among many other issues, the precipitous decline of youth participation numbers. They’re trying to correct the course of a sport that’s seen the amount of boys ages 6 to...
Oh Hey, It's Jim Irsay
It had been 18 days since the end of the season since we’d heard hide or hair of Colts owner Jim Irsay, which was very strange considering the questionable job statuses of coach Chuck Pagano and GM Ryan Grigson, both of whom, after another disappointing season, seemed prime candidates to be replaced...
Australian Tennis Guy To Spectator: "I Will Put My Balls In Your Mouth"
Bernard Tomic is mad! How mad? Mad enough to tell a heckling spectator, in front of the on-court mics and everyone, to suck his balls. ...
Tom Brady Will Appeal Ballghazi Suspension, Again
In the year 2184, when Tom Brady’s head is thawed from cryostasis to testify against Robo-Goodell in Moon Court, your descendants may wonder how the longest-running legal battle in the history of sports ever got started. (Their neural visit to the electro-sapio-repository will tell them it was about...
Jason Chimera Jabs Shayne Gostisbehere With His Stick
Jason Chimera waited for the right opportunity to deliver a cheap shot on Flyers defenseman Shayne Gostisbehere after the whistle in the second period of Wednesday night’s game. The Capitals winger made sure the nearby linesman wasn’t looking before he put the butt-end of his stick into Gostisbehere...
Judge Accepts New Darren Sharper Plea Agreement, Will Probably Sentence Him To 15-20 Years
Serial rapist Darren Sharper will likely be sentenced to 15-20 years for his crimes, after he and federal prosecutors agreed to a new supplemental plea agreement, and the judge signed off. Sharper’s original plea agreement, which would’ve seen him serve just nine years in prison, was rejected last m...
Jon Gruden Whacking Carson Wentz With A Pool Noodle Is The Highlight Of The NFL Offseason
The NFL offseason is a slog that goes from boring to unbearable as we get closer to the draft. The lone beacon of whimsy among the increasingly grim and tired analysis of character issues and 40 times has always been Jon Gruden’s QB Camp, a television show about a guy who says weird shit to young pe...