russ Page 81 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Sell Nets, NBA Might Have To Look The Other Way On The Soviet Stuff
Running a financial and criminal background check on a Russian oligarch is not as easy as it sounds. "Information can be had, but you have to be prepared to accept the grayness." Wait, that's exactly how it sounds. [NYTimes]...

Could There Be a Problem With the Oakland Raiders?
Weird! Journeyman quarterback Jeff Garcia—usually so reticent to speak his mind—is criticizing his former team, the Raiders of Oakland, California!...

Eagerly Awaiting Tony La Russa's Postseason Implosion
The best thing about having the Cardinals around in October is the inevitable moment when La Russa, lineup-card philosopher and Buzz Bissinger's kewpie doll, gets bounced on his ass by a team that realizes the game is baseball, not chess....

Un-Rubbed Balls Create Sticky Situation For Cardinals
John Smoltz thinks the reason he got roughed up last night is because his balls were not properly rubbed down. Yet, opposing pitcher Bronson Arroyo threw just fine. Is it because he was rubbing something special on his own balls?...

Russian Dude Will Build Arena, Buy Nets, Annex New Jersey (UPDATE)
Russian basketboligarch Mikhail Prokhorov has gone from maybe chipping in a few dollars to build a new arena for the Nets to offering to take over the whole dang team—and maybe the entire NBA while he's at it....

Michael Jordan's Tears Do Not Prove He's Human
I was out last night so I didn't catch Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame induction speech until this morning, but it was pretty damn classic and incredibly moving, and no one seemed more moved by it than MJ himself....

Alexander Ovechkin Is Here To Do Two Things: Play Hockey And Sex Your Women
And hockey season is over. Russia Today gets to the bottom Alex Ovechkin's life, complete with helpful on-screen guides. Revelations: He's ugly, sadness makes him cry, and sex is good. You're welcome. [Puck Duddy]...

Mad Dog Officially Seeking Mini Mad Dogs; Little Bow-Wows Need Not Apply
Now hiring! Chris Russo really is searching America for a talk show host for Mad Dog Radio. Requirements: thorough knowledge of the 1941 All-Star Game, the '62 Giants, Cecil B. DeMille and passion. Start primping that résumé, Mikey. [Monster.com]...

Mad Dog Goes Rabid, Needs To Be Put Down (SECOND UPDATE)
What can only be described as one of sports talk radio's most epic meltdowns happened two days ago. But since it happened on satellite radio, nobody knows a got-dang thing about it....

Russell Branyan's Power Loogie Deserves A Star
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

The Fate Of U.S.-Russia Relations Rests On Alexander Ovechkin's Stick
"As a resident of Washington, D.C., I continue to benefit from the contributions of Russians — specifically, from Alexander Ovechkin," said Barack Obama, who was criticized for not being a true puckhead. Don't get greedy, Capitals fans. [D.C. Sports Bog]...

Tony La Russa Wisely Drops His Lawsuit Against Twitter
"La Russa's lawyer, Gregory McCoy, wrote that his client was dismissing the case, adding that "No payment was made by Twitter to La Russa in exchange for this dismissal." Expect 14 more Tony La Russa impersonators by noon. [Law.com]...

All's Well That Ends Well With @TonyLaRussa (Update)
An unspecified Twitter loss is Tony La Russa's Animal Rescue Foundation's gain, which means that Twitter parodies are not only funny, but also save the world. Or at least the cuter part of it....

Tony La Russa Is Not Laughing At Your Satire
Dugout genius Tony La Russa is suing Twitter, claiming he "suffered significant emotional distress" and "damage to his reputation" because of a fake La Russa account. Sheesh, can't the man take a few jokes about dead pitchers and drunk driving?...

Pirates Tour White House, For Some Reason; Skipper Pulls A Reverse Harrison
"Pirates' manager John Russell skipped the tour saying he'd rather visit when he has a World Series ring on his finger." [KDKA]...

Russian Website Publishes Photos Of Alexei Cherepanov's Blood Doping Injections
Russian hockey prospect Alexei Cherepanov died on the ice last year and in the post-mortem was accused of blood doping, an accusation made slightly more credible by these photos of him happily taking injections in his arm....

Mickey Rourke Loves Being In Russia
Mickey Rourke, ever in character, at the premiere of The Wrestler in Moscow today. I don't often advocate this, but look what Mickey's doing at crotch level....