russia Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
More Than 40 Russian Athletes Lose Appeal, Will Not Compete In Pyeongchang
A group of 47 Russian athletes and coaches who challenged the International Olympic Committee’s decision to bar them from participating in this year’s games has been shut down by an appeals court....
28 Russian Athletes Get Their Olympic Doping Bans Overturned
With the Olympics a week away from kicking off in South Korea, a decision by the Court of Arbitration for Sport has thrown the entire matter of retribution against Russian doping into further disarray. Last year, the IOC issued lifetime bans to 43 Russian athletes from the Sochi Olympics for partici...
Three-Team Standoff Hopefully Will Not End With Arsenal's Dick Getting Shot Off
Famously star-crossed Premier League club Arsenal have already had a bad winter transfer window. Just last week the Gunners let Manchester United Debo them out of their best player, Alexis Sánchez, and the only thing that could even kind of almost halfway redeem them from that humiliating chump move...
Dozens Of Russian Athletes Dodge Doping Tests By Calling Out Sick
Over the weekend, 36 Russian athletes withdrew from a track-and-field competition in Siberia at the last minute following the unexpected arrival of drug testers. Many of those who chose not to participate cited illness, but an investigation is already underway and even Dmitry Shlyakhtin, the Preside...
Manchester United Need To Stay The Fuck Away From Our Wonderteen
The good thing about having one of the soccer world’s most coveted young attacking prospects is that the eyes of the game’s biggest clubs will be focused on the kid, each team projecting out his possibly incredible future and positioning themselves to snatch it for themselves if they so decide to ma...
FIFA Medical Officer Fired While Investigating Russian Doping, Which Is Totally Just A Coincidence
Jiri Dvorak was once FIFA’s chief medical officer. For 22 years he worked for soccer’s governing body, and in that time he led programs that researched injuries, sought ways to prevent them, and investigated the use of performance enhancing drugs by players. Dvorak was fired without warning or expla...
America's Wonderteen Delivers 89th-Minute Match-Winner For Dortmund
Borussia Dortmund claimed a 2-1 win over Hoffenheim today when Christian Pulisic juggled his way past Oliver Baumann in the 89th minute to score yet another game-winner for his side, keeping them in third place in the Bundesliga....
How Steven Seagal Became A Useful Puppet For Post-Soviet Dictators
On a crisp November morning in Moscow, Steven Seagal found himself within the walls of the Grand Kremlin Palace, seated across from Vladimir Putin, the most powerful man in the Russian Federation. Dressed in a blood-red kimono and black trousers—a throwback to his days as a martial artist—Seagal obs...
The Russian Olympic Sanctions Are A Hilarious Shitshow Of Hypocrisy<em></em>
Earlier this week the IOC banned Russia from the 2018 Olympics, but only in symbolism. The athletes will still be able to compete, only they’ll essentially be private label athletes who represent the Olympic Ideal instead of the world’s No. 1 kleptocracy (with America fast closing in!). And while Ru...
Cristiano Ronaldo May Be Butt In La Liga, But He's Still Good In The Champions League
Real Madrid superstar Cristiano Ronaldo ranks second in La Liga in shots taken per 90 minutes. Ahead of him is some dude named Andrew Hjulsager, who has made two substitute appearances for Celta Vigo. In that time Hjulsager has amassed 12 minutes and fired off a single shot, giving him a 7.5 shots-p...
Crazy Russian Lady Slaps Carles Puyol In Face With Big Ol' Dildo
Retired Barcelona legend Carles Puyol expected to fiddle around with an assortment of (plastic) balls when he participated in last week’s World Cup group draw in host country Russia. But what he could not have expected was being accosted by a lady telling him “I want to fuck you, I have so big dick,...
IOC Bans Russia From The 2018 Winter Olympics For Absurdly Intricate Doping Scheme
The International Olympic Committee announced today that it has banned Russia—but not all Russian athletes—from the 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, South Korea, as an unprecedented punishment for systemic doping, including at the 2014 Games in Sochi. ...
Is Alex Ovechkin DUN DUN DUN ... A Russian Agent?
Seeking to explain why Alex Ovechkin started the PutinTeam “social movement” earlier in the fall, a trio of Washington Post reporters went long on the Ovechkin-Putin bromance, and the genesis of Ovechkin’s PutinTeam launch. It’s a sprawling piece of work that explores both the origins and the effect...
Alex Ovechkin Is Trying To Create "A Social Movement" For Vladimir Putin
Washington Capitals superstar Alexander Ovechkin announced today via Instagram that he is creating a “social movement” called “Putin Team,” which he says is meant to unite Russia and support its current president, Vladimir Putin....
Look At This Big Dumb World Cup Stadium
Soccer fans who travel to see some hot World Cup action next summer in Yekaterinburg, the easternmost of Russia’s 11 host cities, will not only get to watch soccer from inside a stadium, they’ll also simultaneously get to watch soccer from outside the very same stadium, thanks to some creative const...
Tottenham And Dortmund Are Throwing A Golazo Party
Everyone knew today’s Tottenham-Borussia Dortmund match was going to be the one to watch even before the games kicked off, seeing how good and evenly matched both teams are. But even the most optimistic spectator probably didn’t foresee the completely wide-open golazo contest the match has so far tu...
UFC Vet Diego Brandão Flips Out, Incites Garbage Storm, Leaps Out Of Cage
Brazilian mixed martial artist Diego Brandão has been fighting with Russian MMA promotion Fight Nights Global this year, since the UFC released him from his contract after he allegedly pistol-whipped someone outside of an Albuquerque strip club in April 2016. He once headlined a UFC event against Co...
In Ousmane Dembélé, Barcelona Have Found A New Heir For Lionel Messi
At long last, some good news for FC Barcelona. Both Barça and Borussia Dortmund have now officially announced their agreement to send budding French superstar Ousmane Dembélé to Spain for a staggering fee that could reach as high as €145 million. And as far as news for Barça fans goes, this really c...
Christian Pulisic Kicks Off The Bundesliga Season Like A Superstar
Every time I worry the American soccer press (Deadspin included) is being too hyperbolic in their praise and general hype for Christian Pulisic, he goes and assuages those fears with a marvelous performance. Consider today’s Bundesliga opener, which comes amid Ousmane Dembele’s transfer saga as well...
How Barcelona's Scramble To Replace Neymar Might Send Christian Pulisic To The Stars<em></em>
It wasn’t really supposed to happen like this. French teen sensation Kylian Mbappé was slated to be this summer’s headlining transfer, with the usual suspects in Madrid, Paris, and Barcelona fighting over the right to pay one-sixth of a billion dollars for his signature. Instead, Neymar somehow went...