sad-whimsy Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"Gored To Death By Indian Bison": A Brief Index Of Recent Terrible Events Involving Joggers
An occasional miscellany (with a head nod toward this great old post on Runner's World's website)....
"Struck By Blow Dart": A Brief Index Of Recent Terrible Events Involving Joggers
An occasional miscellany (with a head nod toward this great old post on Runner's World's website)....
Read The Full Saga Of The Piggyback Bandit
Back in 2009, we wrote about the strange antics of Sherwin Shayegan, otherwise known as the Piggyback Bandit. Intrigued by Sherwin's story, the fine folks at Grantland sent Bryan Curtis on the bandit's trail in the hopes that some sense could be made of the man's obsession with piggyback rides....
Rufus The Pigeon-Scaring Hawk At Wimbledon Has Gone Missing, Foul Play Suspected
Disturbing news out of Wimbledon today: a hawk named Rufus, who has been used to scare away pigeons and other small, distracting birds from the courts at the All England Club, was stolen early Friday morning. He was in his cage, in a car parked on a private driveway in Wimbledon. The car's rear win...
Today In Michael Beasley Is An Enormous Weirdo: "I Like To Fart Sometimes And Keep It N A Bottle 2 Smell Later"
Tipster Tyler C. alerted us to this wonderfully vivid mental image tweeted (and since deleted) by Michael Beasley. Beasley has indicated that his account was hacked, but who knows for sure. I suppose it's possible some rapper really wants the word out that Michael Beasley is a big fan and doesn't m...
Matt Kemp Encapsulates McCourt Era In Well-Meaning 20-Second Video
"We want more fans." Also, money....
This Is The Saddest Image To Come Out Of The Sad WNBA Draft
The 2011 WNBA draft, held at 3 p.m. on a Monday, is now wrapping up. No shockers here: the Minnesota Lynx selected UConn's Maya Moore (projected during the draft to be the league MVP) with the first pick, 6'8" Australian Elizabeth Cambage was second overall and will play for Tulsa, and Courtney Vand...
A Brief List Of Terrible Things That Recently Happened To Joggers
Via Runner's World: They've been hit by buckshot; shot by hunters; shot in the foot; attacked by pitbulls, packs of dogs, owls, men, and union members; run down by Cadillacs and struck by RAV 4s; finding dead bodies; and Kim Kardashian. [RWDaily]...
Cleveland Fans React With Usual Grace And Tact
The message boards at CavFanatic, the largest Cavaliers fansite, are currently an apocalyptic wasteland, where not even hope will sprout through the salted earth. Here are some of the best comments, helpfully sorted into three categories:...
Billy The Marlin Really Should Have Reconsidered High-Fiving In This Situation (UPDATE)
What in the name of Jim Rose Sideshow is going on here? One reader suggested that this armless gentleman "threw out the first pitch" at a recent Marlins game but that seems highly unlikely. If so, please send video. We'll update....
Dress Your Athletes In Cornrows And Denim
Bring back all your most deeply repressed memories with this slideshow of 50 Worst Athlete Style Fails. Dwight Howard in wideleg manpris! Brett Favre rocking "Caesar bangs"! Somewhere, a Nehru jacket-clad Craig Sager shrugs, unimpressed. [Complex.com; D-League Digest]...
This Is What Happens When You Do Ecstasy At Home By Yourself In Your Underwear
He actually took a sedative to calm himself down a bit. Then, of course, he strips and dances around with a pacifier in his mouth. Because it's rave or die time, I assume. Mesmerizing. [ViaAlexBlagg'sTwitter]...
Texas Speedway Honors 87-Year-Old Benefactor By Killing Him In Fiery Crash
The WWII vet was honored — for "a lifetime of blood donations" — with a ride at Texas Motor Speedway when his car plowed into the wall, killing him. How will they honor him for his organ donations? [AP]...
Potential Train Wreck Alert: Mike Tyson Gets Reality Show
Mike Tyson is coming to Animal Planet. Tentatively titled Take on Tyson, the show will "pit Tyson and his birds against the best racing-pigeon owners in New York." Can it possibly top this? [NY Post]...
Minnesota HS Hockey Player Wipes Out On TV, Guarantees Himself Brief Viral Infamy
Here's poor Zach Van Orsdel, an Alexandria defenseman playing in the Minnesota state championship, introducing himself to the television audience by doing the sort of thing that makes us all glad we're no longer in high school. [Puck Daddy]...
Corey Haim, Dead; Bill Simmons Mourns
Excpect 5,000 words on how Haim's death is comparable to River Phoenix's by 5 p.m. [SportsGuy33]...
When You Don't Need To Read Past The Headline
"Gay, Mentally Challenged Biracial Male Cheerleader Claims Discrimination." I gotta be honest, I don't feel completely right throwing this piece of meat to you commenter dogs. Be kind. [Seattle Weekly]...
Alabama Fax Machine Replaces Memphis Door As Inanimate Symbol Of Existential Dread
On this National Signing Day, Alabama is offering a live video feed of a fax machine. The machine periodically spits out a piece of paper. A name goes up on a board. Nothing to be done. [CBSSports.com, via Bourbon Boys]...
Watch Junior Seau Castrate A Horse With His Hand
Seau prepares for retired life by squishing horse balls on his "Sports Job" television show. It's as gross as you'd expect. I guess it's technically safe for work because, for some reason, they blurred out the poor horse's testicles. [Versus]...
Scottie Pippen Would <u>Not</u> Like To Thank All The Little People
Pippen was attacked by little people. Pippen sent one of the little people to the hospital. This is a thing that happened....