sad-whimsy Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Breaking: World Frantically Googling The Sports Guy's Wife, Bruno Kirby
As Leitch noted earlier, the fascination with the Sports Fella extends, a little creepily, to his wife. And now look: She's the No. 11 Google hot trend, two notches below "sammy sosa bleached" and 19 sports ahead of "bruno kirby."...
Cornell Business School: Home Of All Sorts Of Savory Juices
Yes, this has nothing to do with sports whatsoever. This is just completely embarrassing and awful and you won't be able to stop reading it: You're my hero!!!! My knight in shining armor!!! My private porn star!!!!! [GuestOfAGuest via Gawker]...
Spirited Phillies Fan Still Confused By How Internet Works
This Angry Woman is lashing out at you monsters for your "disgusting display of immature rudeness" and something-something-something about her YouTube video which she removed. Visit her in the comments section at your own risk. [Deadspin]...
Fear Of A Blackface Planet: Cowboys Cheerleader, Meet Deron Williams
Yes, poor Whitney Isleib is getting some mixed reviews after she decided to shoe polish her face in order to authenticate her Lil' Wayne costume, but there is decidedly less uproar over Deron Williams' terrifying Cal Ripken costume....
Dennis Rodman, In The Pink
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Ryan Leaf Used To Be Carried In The Arms Of Cheerleaders. Part 87
New blue blood/great white hope, Ryan Leaf has finally kicked his silly vicodin addiction and is busy starting his life over (again) in "environmentally soothing" Vancouver, B.C. He says he's finally found the cause of his personal problems — football....
The Nationals Should Give This Guy Season Tickets For Life
Great story from Captain Steinberg, still exiled in Bogville, about a Nationals fan who saw 19 home games for D.C.'s awful baseball team this year — and they managed to lose every single one of them....
Gun-Toting Soccer Mom Shot By Gun-Toting Husband
Tragic outcome to this story which made national news last year ago. Melanie Hain, a soccer mother who showed up at her daughter's soccer game packing heat, was shot to death by her husband in an apparent murder-suicide. [PennLive]...
Teenage Football Players: This Woman Will "Catch You" And "Have Sex With You"
"Police say [Venus]Lewis, who appeared to be drunk, then walked to a set of picnic tables, pulled down her pants, and inserted a tampon before beginning to masturbate in front of the children." [Zimbio]...
Ball The Pretty Horses: High Schoolers Show School Spirit With Equine Double-Team T-Shirts (UPDATE)
It seems a few hairy-palmed scamps at Houston's Memorial High School recently sold the t-shirt you see here to commemorate their Mustangs' football game against archrival Stratford. Think this is the only bit of Memorial-related horsefucking? Nay!...
Somehow, The Chilled Afterlife Of Ted Williams Manages To Get Weirder
Workers at Alcor, the cryonics lab where the frozen leftovers of Ted Williams are being preserved in liquid nitrogen, allegedly decapitated the Splendid Splinter and mutilated his head with a monkey wrench. There goes the greatest sentence ever written....
Cub Fans Ruin Their Own Child's Life By Making Her A Cubs Fan
A Chicagoan e-mailed to ask why I have no love for the Windy City. Someone else e-mailed the answer. Meet new North Side resident, Waitle Nex Yeare. With any luck, the state has already placed her in protective custody. [Slanch]...
Starbury Addresses The Gay Jokes In True Starbury Fashion
With another video. In which he sings. And displays his painted toenails. And says, "If you think I'm gay, leave me in a room with your girl for an hour and she's gonna tell you how gay I am." [NESWsports.com]...
Cole Hamels Continues His Slow Transformation Into A Doily
Here, via Philebrity, is an advertisement from the new issue of Philadelphia Magazine, in which the Hamels family tries to sell you a luxury condo by posing like a couple of Precious Moments figurines in front of a horrified city....
Chinese Also Befuddled By "Pioneer Girl"
Even though many angry people voiced their displeasure with Blazer Girl's appearances on Deadspin, one newspaper has been wowed by her brazenness and her hatred of all things Los Angeles. Pioneer Girl to the rescue....
Please Make This Cougar Phenomenon Go Away
Seriously. Just stop. Fellas, if you need a release that bad, act like everyone else and patronize your local washy-wash. You'll feel slightly less humiliated. [7x7]...
Muppets Win Again
Life is all about priorities, compromises and compromising priorities, which is why the WNBA's Atlanta Dream — ever heard of 'em? — may not be able to play at home if they make the playoffs. They're being bumped by puppets....
You Can Be The Proud Owner Of Onterrio Smith's Whizzinator
It's the perfect gift for the man in your life who routinely fails drug tests. It could also be used as a funny gag gift for a 40th birthday or a Christmas tree ornament. [RandBall]...
King Bloomberg Can't Hear You With All These Goddamned Commoners Barking
NYC's "benevolent tyrant," adorned in fine lavender, at the Little League World Series in Williamsport, PA. [Bugs & Cranks]...
Poor Lawrence Tynes
The Giants' kicker was forced to show off his hamstring flexibility with The Rockettes (and Santa!) in the middle of the 6th Avenue to prove his knee is fully rehabilitated from last year. Coughlin's a tough sonuvabitch. [Best Week Ever]...