sadwhimsy Page 12 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The UFL Might Actually Be A Practical Joke
The United Football League unveiled its team names and uniforms this week, just hours before tickets went on sale for games you did not realize were taking place, featuring players that may not exist. Is this really happening?...
Barry Zito Prepares To Illuminate The World With His Atrocious Singing
Sweet mother of Christmas, this is bad. Giants super-chill pitcher Barry Zito is recording an album and, unfortunately for him (and anyone who listens), one of his songs was leaked to The Dirty. "What A Man's Gotta Do." Ugh. [TheDirty]...
Prop 8 Never Saw This Coming: Woman Marries A Carnival Ride
This woman loves this amusement park ride. No, she really loves it. Enough to let "him" put a ring on it. Let's go down the rabbit hole with this most tenuous of sports angles....
Tasers And Foul Balls Make For An Eventful Night In Oakland
At most ballgames, you're lucky if one interesting thing happens in your section. A foul ball, a violent arrest, dudes falling down stairs? Well, some lucky A's fans saw it all in the span of about 30 seconds....
And Why Does A San Francisco Gallery Have A Nude Photo Of Joe DiMaggio On Display?
Great question. Taken around 1940, The Daily Beast informs us that the rare (NSFW) photo "reveals the naked Yankee slugger soaking wet and grinning happily." I think Joe D needs a new nickname. Please help. [TheDailyBeast]...
Starbury's Figurative Train Wreck Becomes A Literal Car Crash
We knew they shouldn't have let him outside. At the 1:45 mark, Stephon's car appears to jump the curb, or maybe run over an old lady. But "don't worry about it. It ain't nothin' but the Devil." [H/T reader Brian]...
R.I.P. UCLA Undie Run: 2002-2009
Citing safety concerns, UCLA administrators nixed the tri-annual tradition of students stripping down and frolicking across campus during finals week due to increased boozy half-naked fights breaking out. (PHOTO: NowPublic) [LA Times]...
I Hope Someone Gently Broke The News To Josh Johnson
From this week's SI Pop Culture Grid: Person I'm Dying To Interview..."Kirby Puckett. One of my idols growing up." [SI]...
Hey, Kirk Herbstreit's House Is On Fire!
Herbie let his local fire department burn down his home in exchange for a tax break, but the IRS wants the money anyway. He could sell his house to pay the bill if it hadn't just burned down! [Columbus Dispatch]...
Swimsuit Still Has Major Rear Air Conditioning Problems
This poor Italian woman first suffered this indignity. Yesterday, U.S. swimmer Ricky Berens' suit also busted open in the back, revealing his backside to America. The Huffington Post even utilized its seldom used "ass cam" for the occasion. [KC.com]...
Spend Your Day Tracking Stephon Marbury's Eclecticism
As Skeets (SKEETS!) noted: This is unreal. [UStream]...
Hooded Dicks Vs. Unhooded Penises
Via Jeffrey Goldberg, this is a story from the Sept. 1, 1926, edition of the Washington Post. No word on who won. Fun fact: The Povich you see there is Abe Povich, brother of Shirley, uncle of Maury. [Jeffrey Goldberg]...
In This Case, The Zebra Is Not A Euphemism
A Pittsburg State football player will miss this season after a zebra bit him in the arm. Why was he near a zebra in Kansas? He was moving four of them to paint a fence. Damn zebras, man. [KC Star]...
Giant Inflatable Penis Owner Explains Herself, Giant Inflatable Penis
Many will remember this year's American Century Championship for Tony Romo's valiant efforts and Rick Rhoden's continued dominance of the tournament, but the big, bright shining star of Saturday's action was a six-foot dong peeking over Michael Jordan's shoulder....
William Ligue's Son Still Proud He Beat Up That First Base Coach
They say it's important to live without regret. And one thing Young Bill Ligue does not regret is thrashing an old man on the field at Comiskey Park when he was 15. You just can't manufacture those kinds of memories....
At Least He Won His Old Man's Respect
The baseball field, Turgenev once wrote, is a sacred bonding ground for fathers and sons. And what's bonding if it's not daring your son to sprint across the infield of a minor league ballpark? Visiting him in juvi, maybe....
Drug Mule Puts Cocaine In Golf Clubs, Gets Shafted
Note to aspiring drug smugglers: If you're smuggling blow through an airport by stuffing it inside golf equipment, it helps to know a little something about golf. And no, a "handicap" does not mean you have a limp....
Oh, Donovan, Please Don't Hang Out With Porn Stars At The Pool
It's just Donovan McNabb being polite (and portly) at a topless pool in Vegas this past weekend . And Jayden James, who is/was dating Chuck Liddell (NSFW!), had a run-in with Five. He's a jovial fellow! NOTHING happened. [JaydenJames'BlogNSFWNSFWNSFW]...
Tom Brady Has No Pity For Panhandling Fools
Not all panhandlers are drunks and bums. Some are just convicted bank robbers who happen to owe Tom Brady — yes, that one — a good chunk of change for tucking and running away with two flower planters....
Mother Nature Does not Appreciate Your Ironic Sports
A sad day in the annals of hipster athletics, as a 23 year old Brooklynite was unceremoniously pancaked by a falling tree limb during a game of dodgeball. Time to start thinking of the perfect post-modern tattoo to commemorate....