san-francisco Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Are The 49ers For Real?
As five weeks is usually more than sufficient time to establish the true pecking order in the National Football League, it is now clear that Super Bowl LIV (as opposed to Super Bowl LUV) will feature the New England Patriots and San Francisco 49ers....
Maybe The 49ers Are Good <i>And </i>The Browns Are Bad
The Cleveland Browns’ dewy preseason vainglory wouldn’t be especially bothersome had it not (a) convinced people that sucking for a long time is shrewd and reasonable; and (b) compelled whoever’s in charge to slot the Browns in four primetime games this season. Monday night, the joke was on them. Th...
Bruce Bochy's Retirement Ceremony Was—Holy Shit, It's Tim Lincecum!
The final game of the San Francisco Giants’ season was the final game of manager Bruce Bochy’s career. The skipper had planned to retire at the conclusion of the 2019 season, so after Sunday’s 9-0 loss to the Dodgers, many of Bochy’s former players showed up at the stadium to send him off, includin...
Despite Their Best Efforts, The 49ers Were Incapable Of Beating Themselves
In any other week for non-Jets teams, giving up five turnovers to an opponent tends to be a pretty solid blow towards that side’s chances of winning. But the 49ers became an exception to that trend against the Steelers on Sunday with a 24-20 win at home. Just like how that scoreline doesn’t tell the...
Stop Celebrating Bruce Bochy's 2,000th Victory
Bruce Bochy nailed down his iconic 2,044th victory as a major-league manager Wednesday in Boston, because let’s face it, nothing says greatness quite like a large round number. And if 2,044 isn’t round enough for you, then your entire life has been a lie....
Let's Move The 49ers, Again
I am not among those of my era who are amazed that the Rolling Stones are still touring energetically at carbon-dateable age, but I know I am in the minority here, and I recognize power when I see it. So when the Stones condemned their recent experience playing the 49ers’ stadium, the implication wa...
Rolling Stones, San Francisco 49ers, City Of Santa Clara All Extremely Mad At Each Other
The Mercury News has published a surprisingly entertaining story about a three-way spat currently raging between the Rolling Stones, the San Francisco 49ers, and the city of Santa Clara. The fight is over various logistical headaches that come with trying to put on a concert at the Niners’ stadium, ...
Paranormal Activity: Paul DeJong Bends Foul Ball With His Mind (REAL!)
A couple of explanations for this very strange, uh, “base hit” in the first inning of tonight’s Giants-Cardinals game. One: Paul DeJong, being a very science-minded fellow with sincere, demonstrated interest in the way external forces affect the trajectory of a baseball, figured out a split-second b...
Jimmy Garoppolo's Return Was Pretty Miserable
The important thing is that Jimmy Garoppolo is healthy. It has to be, because to focus on the 49ers quarterback’s performance in his first game action since tearing his ACL in Week 3 last season is to invite some serious collar-tugging....
My Whole Life Worth Less Than Crap Stolen From Alex Rodriguez's Rental Car
Alex Rodriguez has many things that I will never have. A career .930 OPS. A job on television. A cake with crystals on it from Jennifer Lopez. A gigantic two-way glass window next to his crappin’ toilet, situated prominently in one of the busiest cities in the Western hemisphere. Some of the many fi...
The Giants And Phillies Become Model Of Teamwork And Selflessness While Fighting Wind-Blown Tarp Together
A few East-Coast ballparks have come up against their arch-nemesis this afternoon—falling water—as an onslaught of thunderstorms have conspired to threaten, at least, an ongoing game in the Bronx and an upcoming one in Philadelphia....
Why Your Team Sucks 2019: San Francisco 49ers
Some people are fans of the San Francisco 49ers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the San Francisco 49ers. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....
The Red-Hot Giants Are Ruining Everything For Everybody
Plans change. That’s the best thing about them. Inflexible thought is kindling, and only the adroit bully survives. Kawhi Leonard changed the topography of the NBA by winning a championship. Anthony Davis changed it by crushing New Orleans’s hope before the first national anthem was shrieked. And Ma...
The Best And Worst Of This Year's Dolores Park Hill Bomb
For the third year running, hundreds of skateboarders descended on San Francisco’s Dolores Park last Thursday and gleefully threw themselves down one of the most famous hills in the city at reckless speeds. Some take the crowded Mission District hill on BMX bikes, some rip with no hands, and many tu...
Miscommunication Leads To Kevin Pillar Taking The Slowest Possible Hit-By-Pitch
Kevin Pillar wanted to call time during Wednesday’s game in San Diego, but home plate umpire Jeff Nelson didn’t grant it to him. That ended up benefitting the Giants outfielder, because Padres pitcher Luis Perdomo threw a hilariously soft pitch which ended up “plunking” the batter....
Dodgers Organist Has Fun With The Aquatic Feud Between Max Muncy And Madison Bumgarner
When the Giants and Dodgers met earlier this month in San Francisco, the final game of the series was a 1-0 Los Angeles win where infielder Max Muncy irritated Madison Bumgarner by cracking a solo shot deep into the bay. As Muncy rounded the bases, Madison acted like a mad bum, telling the Dodgers h...
Giants' Kevin Pillar Successfully Steals Second With The World's Most Powerful Slide
In the bottom of the seventh, Brewers pitcher Alex Claudio attempted to pick off Giants center fielder Kevin Pillar at first. As Claudio turned to make the throw, Pillar took off for second. Thanks to a lack of urgency from Milwaukee’s Jesus Aguilar, Pillar was able to beat the follow-up throw and s...
Madison Bumgarner Gets Roasted To Hell By Max Muncy For Playing Dinger Cop
Madison Bumgarner is a good pitcher and a marvelous baseball player, but what he also is is a great big diaper baby. Few pitchers in all of baseball are as likely as Bumgarner to express their sensitivity to the humiliation of allowing a home run by shouting unwritten code commands at triumphant bat...
Even If The Warriors Win, Oakland Loses
This is the real NBA Finals, the one that transcends Larry O’Brien, Kevin Durant, Kawhi Leonard, Doris Burke, Woj, Adam Silver, dynasties, the next Why-The-Lakers-Are-On-Fire tell-all, the works. This is Oakland’s last stand with the team it raised from a pup, its last healthy bite of an apple that ...
Mike Yastrzemski Disappoints Wife While Trying To Get To Second Base
Yet another relative of a Hall of Famer was promoted to the majors this past weekend. Mike Yastrzemski, grandson of Red Sox great Carl Yastrzemski, got the call up to join the dysfunctional Giants on Saturday, where he made his debut against the Diamondbacks. Yastrzemski finally got the first hit of...