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49ers Nix Girl Scouts Stadium Sleepover In Favor Of A More Profitable Event [Update]
The San Francisco 49ers had an agreement with Girl Scout troops around Northern California: The girls who sold the most cookies would get to visit the team’s stadium in May, meet cheerleaders, and enjoy pizza and movies on the field. This week, the team reneged on the deal....
San Francisco Still Doesn't Know How It's Going To Pay For Hosting Super Bowl Week
Reporters were guided by police escort from San Francisco down to the media center in San Jose yesterday and, according to the San Jose Mercury-News the escorts will continue during the week. While the reporters tweeted about how awesome their escorts were (yes, really, they did), it got me wonderin...
San Franciscans Have Declared War On Super Bowl Sculptures
The NFL sure is mighty excited to be holding the Super Bowl in the Bay Area. San Francisco residents appear less than excited to have them....
Hell Yes The MySpace Guy Should Pay The Giants To Keep Tim Lincecum
Did you know the MySpace guy is rich as hell? “Nah,” you’re probably saying right now, “MySpace sucks and nobody uses it. That dude must be broke.” Wrong! You see, MySpace Tom sold out at the right time....
What Has Chip Kelly Learned?
The 49ers formally introduced Chip Kelly yesterday, and the media immediately wanted to know if Kelly intended to change anything from his stint in Philadelphia, where his people skills rubbed some players the wrong way and a good number weren’t too sad to see him go. “I don’t know if I can be signi...
That's Just Weed, Dipshit
You could have gone out to West Philly any time to “get smarter.”...
How's Jim Tomsula Doing?
NFL teams are in the process of filling out their coaching staffs, and barring a catastrophe, it appears that Jim Tomsula won’t be a head coach next season. So, uh, where’s he going?...
Chip Kelly Will Coach The 49ers
Former Eagles coach Chip Kelly will not be going back to college. San Francisco 49ers CEO Jed York announced that Kelly would be the team’s new head coach....
The Catch, The "Divine" Photo, And The Photographer Who Was Rooting For The Cowboys
Dwight Clark’s “The Catch” is one of the most famous plays in NFL history, and made for one of the most iconic photos ever taken by longtime Sports Illustrated photographer Walter Iooss Jr., one of the industry’s biggest names. Yet for all the immortality conferred in the back of Candlestick Park’s ...
Chip Kelly Interviewed With The 49ers
According to separate reports from CSN Bay Area and ESPN, former Eagles coach Chip Kelly met with the 49ers yesterday about their own vacant head coach job. It feels like the perfect match, if you’re rooting for the franchise to implode....
Jim Tomsula Packs Up His Bindle, Hits The Dusty Trail
The Jim Tomsula era with the San Francisco 49ers started out with a victory, and ended with one, too. That wasn’t enough to forget everything that happened in between. The 49ers fired him tonight....
Goodbye Jim Tomsula, Man Of Many Talents
Firing season is truly upon us. According to a report from PFT, the 49ers are going to fire Jim Tomsula after a fairly disastrous 4-11 season that saw the team regress all the way from championship contenders to one of the worst teams in the NFL. Not all of this is Tomsula’s fault, of course (everyo...
Jim Tomsula Ponders, Keeps Pondering, Ponders Again
As NFL teams clinch playoff spots and determine first-round byes, let’s check in with 49ers coach Jim Tomsula as he makes a decision. The overworked everyman was figuring out how his defense allowed the Lions to march all the way to the one-yard line. Replace the dictionary’s definition of befuddlem...
Giants Sign Johnny Cueto, Make The NL West More Interesting
The San Francisco Giants have reached a six-year, $130 million deal with Johnny Cueto, according to ESPN’s Buster Olney....
Oh Huh, Blaine Gabbert Might Be A Decent Quarterback
Blaine Gabbert, Jim Tomsula, and the San Francisco 49ers went to Chicago and beat the Bears 26-20 in overtime. It was a silly game between mediocre teams, and as such, it was full of highlights....
The 49ers' Front Office Is Still A Huge Mess
It’s hard to imagine a football team having a worse season, top-to-bottom, than the 2015 San Francisco 49ers. Things stayed messy last night, with various reports stating that team president Paraag Marathe is being shuffled off to a lesser role within the organization, a move that will apparently ta...