san-francisco Page 68 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Barry Zito's Obscene Gingerbread Twitter Photos Are Somewhat Disturbing
Ladies and gentlemen, the handiwork of tonight's Giants starting pitcher against the Dodgers. PETA would like to get involved, but their jurisdiction doesn't include desserts. [Twitter]...
OK, Just How Did Michael Crabtree Slip To No. 10 In The Draft?
As if from a Dickens novel, the 49ers found Michael Crabtree in a basket on their porch on Saturday with a note pinned to his blanket: One receiver, courtesy of Mr. Al Davis, Esq....
A Most Distressing Video: Joe Martinez Takes Line Drive Off The Head
This is not the kind of thing that people wanted to see in the wake of the tragic Nick Adenhart accident. That was one brutal line drive....
San Francisco Giants Advertising Copy Written By Giggling 12-Year-Olds
The Giants marketing department will apparently just write anything down on a piece of paper and consider their jobs done. Please leave all "ball"-based puns to the professionals. [Big League Stew]...
OK You Pissants, Make Way For Randy Johnson
There's been little wailing and no gnashing of teeth in the Bay Area over Tim Lincecum's underwhelming '09 debut on Tuesday. That's because A. The Giants won, and B. Their headliner is actually starting tonight....
49ers Cut Loose Isaac Bruce, 'Have No Interest' In Jay Cutler
They might be tempted by Torry Holt, however, and may lust after Mark Sanchez in the draft. Oh, you wacky Niners. [San Francisco Chronicle]...
Alex Smith Household To Be Well Stocked With Towels
Alex Smith will be making $4 million this season in his restructured deal with the 49ers, plus all this stuff from his wedding registry (wonder if Mike Nolan got him the pannini maker). [Wedding Channel.com]...
Alex Smith Is Back, But Apparently In Disguise
Things don't usually work this way, but hey, we're in a recession. Alex Smith — once thought totally extinct in the wild — is back with the 49ers under a new, slimmer contract....
Do Not Mess With This Man
Ed Leong, 86, fights San Francisco City Hall over badminton court use fees, wins. Fear the shuttlecock. [Wall Street Journal]...
God Lights The Way For Kurt Warner, Demands 15 Percent
Kurt Warner officially announced his new deal with the Cardinals on Wednesday, saying that it was God who told him to eschew the 49ers and return to Arizona....
Everybody Loves Kurt
Kurt Warner says that his trip to San Francisco wasn't a leverage ploy, but look! The Cardinals — who have been intractable for weeks — have suddenly upped their contract offer by three million bucks....
Kurt Warner Operates On A Higher Moral Plane Than You And I
Kurt Warner is visiting the 49ers as we speak, and he arrived the same way that Jesus always traveled; in a private jet. But it wasn't just to create leverage in his contract negotiations....
Wait, Tim Lincecum Is Making How Much?
Tim Lincecum, last season's Cy Young Award winner, just signed a contract with the Giants for one year at $650,000. Barry Zito chortles, wipes dog poop off shoe with $100 bill....
Randy Johnson Will Still Put A Ball In Your Neck If You Test Him
"In Johnson's first throwing session against Giants hitters on Saturday, his new teammates took a few too many pitches for his taste. Unabashedly incensed, Johnson grumbled afterward, 'Swing the stinking bat!' [NY TIMES]...
I Guess Brian Bocock Calls It Schwing Training
So here's a rather amusing tale from San Francisco Giants beat writer Andrew Baggarly of the San Jose Mercury. Yes, it involves boner pills. Doesn't every Giants' story?...
Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All
Attorneys for Barry Bonds on Wednesday made a defense filing that their client's gigantic skull and tiny nuts should not be entered into evidence at his perjury trial....
Mike Singletary Even Spells Crazy
Mike Singletary says he wants the 49ers to be "physical ... with an F." I don't even know what that means, but he's officially my new favorite coach. [SF Gate]...
The SF Giants Ask That You Kindly Do Not Mock Their Concession Food
Yeah, yeah, AT&T Park features hot dogs that have Thousand Island sauce, a dill pickle spear and "Swish" Cheese. Want to make something of it?? [Home Run Derby]...
Schedule Div. II Power Academy Of Art At Your Own Peril
So this was a pretty amusing basketball box score sent to me by a friend: Final, University of San Francisco 74, Academy of Art 28. I wish I could have attended that matchup of titans....
Meet The Man Who Will Testify Against Barry Bonds
The Feds are filling out their roster for their big showdown against Barry Bonds, and have found a catcher. Here's Bobby Estalella, who is expected to testify to firsthand knowledge that Bonds used steroids....