scary Page 18 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lance Armstrong Files Suit Against USADA And Its "Kangaroo Court"
Lance Armstrong is through fucking around. The latest doping charges against the seven-time Tour De France winner and world-class bully have been answered, not with evidence or witnesses, but with a lawsuit. Armstrong has taken the US Anti-Doping Agency to federal court, claiming that USADA's charge...
So, About Those Witnesses Against Lance Armstrong
The revived case against Lance Armstrong hinges on more than just blood samples from 2009 and 2010 that reportedly show evidence of doping. USADA, still humping this case years after most of us stopped caring about it, allege "a massive doping conspiracy from 1998 to 2007," involving Armstrong, his ...
Roger Clemens Found Not Guilty
The Roger Clemens perjury trial—a trial that was alternately confusing, nostalgic, and soporific, but at all times a giant waste of taxpayer money and government manpower—puttered to a sad and inevitable end today with Clemens being found not guilty on all counts....
Today's Ukraine-France Match Is Delayed Because God Is Angry
Hellfire is raining in Donetsk, where the Euro 2012 Ukraine-France match is delayed due to heavy rain and lightning, some of which appears here to have attempted to find its way inside the stadium. (That ain't sunlight.) Clearly Thor is angry Norway failed to qualify....
Professional Athlete Used Drug, Says Someone
Lance Armstrong, who you might remember as that guy who won a bunch of bike races while everyone said he was doping, is accused of winning a bunch of bike races while doping. The U.S. Anti-Doping Agency formally charged Armstrong over blood samples collected in 2009 and 2010 that are "fully consiste...
Mexican Drug Lords Launder Money Through Horse Racing, U.S. Government Alleges
There's a lot that's terribly shadowy and evil about the sport of horse racing, from the dead horses on set at HBO's Luck to the dead horses at the Aqueduct to the dead horses really anywhere horses race....
AP Discovers That SEC Schools Do Not Take Marijuana Use As Seriously As The NCAA
The Associated Press has a really long article about all this research they did with regard to smoking pot in the SEC. The long and the short of it is this: different schools police themselves differently and they all are much more lenient on their own stoner scholar athletes than the NCAA....
![Rays Infielder Will Rhymes Passed Out After Being Hit By A Pitch Tonight [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Rays Infielder Will Rhymes Passed Out After Being Hit By A Pitch Tonight [UPDATE]
A horrifying scene unfolded at Tropicana Field in the bottom of the eighth inning of tonight's Rays-Red Sox game as Tampa Bay infielder Will Rhymes collapsed on the field after being hit on the arm by a pitch from Boston's Franklin Morales....
How I Threw My Hair-Perm Superfly Spitball, By Dock Ellis: A New Animated Short
The video above is "Superfly Spitball," an animated short that grew out of the same interview—conducted by Donnell Alexander and Neille Ilel—that gave us Dock Ellis & The LSD No-No. Animated by Heidi Perry and co-produced by Thor Swift, the short will appear in a forthcoming iBook, Beyond Ellis D....
What Dock Ellis Taught Me About Drugs, Spitballs, Hair Curlers, Office Culture, Race, And America
Be sure to watch the accompanying animated short, "Superfly Spitball."...
Phil Mushnick Wrote Something Racist In The <em>New York Post</em>
Here's OG troll Phil Mushnick in today's New York Post, shaking his cane at the scary negroes:...
How To Make A Pipe Out Of <em>ESPN The Magazine</em>'s Stupid Weed-Panic Issue
The latest issue of ESPN The Magazine contains a feature by Mark Schlabach about college football's marijuana "problem." It is, as we've noted, one of the most useless sports-and-drugs stories ever committed to paper. But not entirely useless! The video above provides step-by-step instructions f...
Dope Scandal: Why Is ESPN's Drugs-In-College-Football Story So Stupid?
Honestly, I feel bad for everyone involved in the making of this ESPN The Magazine feature about college football's marijuana "problem," which has to be the stupidest sports-and-dope story I've read in an allegedly reputable outlet since the Yahoo guy went running around the Syracuse campus with a p...
There Was A Clown In Courtside Seats At MSG Yesterday, And For Once It Wasn't Donald Trump
Despite another strong game from Carmelo Anthony, the New York Knicks dropped their third straight this season to the Heat yesterday 93-85, a result we're sure put a sad face on all Knicks fans in attendance—at least those who didn't, you know, show up with a face already painted on....
Should You Eat Your Marijuana During A Police Stop? A Guide
Detroit Lions running back Mikel Leshoure is being arraigned today in Berrien County, Mich., court on a marijuana charge. As with many low-stakes weed busts, the details are whimsical:...
Ryan Leaf Is In Jail Again
Iconic NFL bust Ryan Leaf—who just a few months ago was assuring us that this time he's clean, like, for real—is in jail after being busted for felony burglary, misdemeanor theft and criminal possession of dangerous drugs according to the Great Falls Tribune....
In Response to Suspensions For Alleged PED Use, Denver Broncos Players Accuse NFL Of Corruption and Ineptitude
Denver Broncos linebacker D.J. Williams and defensive tackle Ryan McBean were each suspended by the NFL for six games and teammate Virgil Green (tight end) received a four game ban for violating the League's policy on performance-enhancing substances based on tests administered prior to the 2011 se...
The Scandal Is What The Media's NCAA Scandal Cops Think Is A Scandal
We've been around the block with Yahoo's scandal hunters a time or two, but this latest scoop is really reductioing their worst absurdum into the ground:...
How The Doping Case Against Ryan Braun Fell Apart: One Theory
The conventional wisdom on Ryan Braun's overturned doping suspension is that it was a triumph of cautious proceduralism over substantive justice—a victory for protocol and a rare (and for my money not entirely unwelcome) defeat for the drug cops. Baseball's testing program caught a juicer, the think...
A College Football Scholarship Can Finance Your Marijuana Business, Too
Preston Bailey's 2011 season as an offensive lineman at Middle Tennessee State ended after seven games because of an injury. The school granted him a medical scholarship, but Bailey is accused of doing more with it than simply pursuing his Liberal Studies degree. Police say they found items like ma...