

In today’s edition of “Let’s talk about sports to distract ourselves from apocalyptic horrors,” we follow up our…

This week, a day after former Chicago Bulls assistant coach Johnny Bach died at 91, we got an email. A friend of a…
Have something you think we should know? Email us at tips@deadspin.com, or contact our writers directly, or use our …

Scottie Pippen won't be prosecuted: Investigators couldn't determine whether he was the aggressor or simply defending himself when he whipped some guy's ass in Malibu, Calif., back in June. Officials did conclude that Pippen's accuser had faked several injuries. [TMZ]

A day after TMZ's report that Scottie Pippen had kicked the shit out of an aggressive autograph seeker, Pippen's…
![TMZ: Scottie Pippen Questioned In Assault Case [UPDATE]](https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_180,pg_1,q_80,w_320/18ru8rpjuygb2jpg.jpg 320w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_264,pg_1,q_80,w_470/18ru8rpjuygb2jpg.jpg 470w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_450,pg_1,q_80,w_800/18ru8rpjuygb2jpg.jpg 800w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_675,pg_1,q_80,w_1200/18ru8rpjuygb2jpg.jpg 1200w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_900,pg_1,q_80,w_1600/18ru8rpjuygb2jpg.jpg 1600w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_80,pg_1,q_80,w_80/18ru8rpjuygb2jpg.jpg 80w)
TMZ is reporting that basketball Hall of Famer and Michael Jordan sidekick Scottie Pippen has turned himself in to…

Scottie Pippen, who is totally not bankrupt, had a minor car accident on Chicago's Magnificent Mile this afternoon.…
Why else would he tell Mike and Mike this morning that "Jordan is the best scorer ever but I may go as far as to say…

Your morning roundup for Feb. 19, the day Wisconsin edges closer to Cairo of the Heartland.