screamer Page 103 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Rise Of Romelu Lukaku Is A Joy To Watch
On one hand, it’s a fitting reflection of the topsy-turvy season in England that, heading into the final four of the FA Cup, the competition’s best remaining player isn’t a world-famous, well-decorated superstar for Chelsea or Manchester City or Arsenal, but rather trophy-barren Everton’s 22-year-ol...
Runaway Bull Makes For Very Intimidating Pitch Invader
This rambunctious bovine wanted to join some Australian youths in their soccer game after escaping his nearby paddock. Unfortunately, the kids were very rude and refused to pass him the ball, so he had to retreat back to the forest. ...
Nobody Could Get Into The NYCFC Game At Yankee Stadium Because Of The Yankees' Stupid Ticket Policies
Hey remember how the Yankees changed their ticket policies to no longer accept print-at-home tickets? NYCFC, who also play in Yankee Stadium for some reason, announced Friday that they were planning to stop taking paper tickets too. They have a game today, two days later. In their release, the team ...
The Maddening Futility Of Arsenal, In One Play
Arsenal crashed out of their specialty competition (the FA Cup) this morning after a 2-1 loss to Watford. Since they probably aren’t gonna beat Barcelona by the two goals they need to to take their Champions League tie, and the EPL looks like a more distant prospect every week, the FA Cup was their ...
This Paulo Dybala Curler Is Audacious As Hell
Look, this happened yesterday, but you deserve to see it now anyway. Juventus beat Sassuolo 1-0 in some Serie A action, and the lone goal was a truly magnificent little homing missile from Argentine forward Paulo Dybala....
Tottenham Fans, Rejoice! Your Team Got Beat Down Today!
Even the most fervent Tottenham fan had to admit that it looked shaky out there for a bit. By the end, though, supporters could be proud of the scoreline their boys had earned. To further their hopes at ending the season with the trophy they so covet, Spurs’ players had one objective in today’s Euro...
Soccer Guy Smashes Teammate's Face With Ball, Then Gets His Own Face Smashed
Karma works fast....
Scottish Manager Celebrates Goal By Beating Up His Own Player
Here’s Inverness CT manager John Hughes, demonstrating on the jawbone and ribcage of Liam Polworth, the thin line between cheerful exuberance and adrenaline-drenched rage:...
Let's Watch Some Diego Maradona Highlights For No Good Reason
The other day I went down a YouTube rabbithole trying to find a song to pair with a video to make a meme (don’t ask), and ended up watching Diego Maradona highlights for an hour. I know all about la mano de Dios, his absolute filleting of England during the 1986 World Cup, and of course the absurdit...
Arsenal Still Alive In FA Cup, But Probably Dead Everywhere Else
The good news: Arsenal beat Hull in their FA Cup replay today, scoring some pretty goals and looking pretty good doing so, earning their way into the quarterfinals of the competition they’ve won two years running now....
Sunderland CEO Resigns In Midst Of Adam Johnson Child Sex Scandal
While former Sunderland winger Adam Johnson has already been cut from his team and convicted of multiple criminal charges in lieu of his sexual relationship with a 15-year-old girl, the fallout of the entire ordeal is still settling. The latest result of the case is today’s announced resignation of ...
Israeli Soccer Medics Don't Know How To Use A Stretcher, Drop Injured Player
If these medics really are as incompetent as their Greek counterparts, unable to execute a simple task like taking a hobbled player off the pitch on a stretcher, then they probably shouldn’t have their jobs. If instead this was an elaborate team-building exercise—...
Players Resist Urge To Knock Out Referee After Getting Screwed Out Of A Goal
This is just unreal. Right after Accrington Stanley’s (yes, that’s actually the name of the team) striker Billy Kee had fired in what should’ve been the opening goal against AFC Wimbledon, the referee for some reason decided to blow the halftime whistle, nullifying the goal. The game ended 0-0....
Lionel Messi Was On One Yesterday
Lionel Messi scored twice in Barcelona’s 4-0 win over Eibar yesterday, though neither the scoreline nor Messi’s goal tally accurately reflect just how transcendent a show Argentine winger put on. As is so often the case in that inimitable version of Messi domination, it was everything around the sco...
Police: Ronaldo Vs. Messi Debate Ends With One Guy Killing His Buddy With Shard Of Glass
The incessant arguing about whether Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi is the better player is dumb, misses the point, and is played out. Even worse than getting drawn into said argument in the first place is taking it so seriously that you kill a friend of yours, which is apparently what happened to...
God, If You're Really There, Please Let Leicester Win The Premier League Title
We’ve come so close these last few years to witnessing something truly spectacular, a season-long performance of such improbable greatness that it sows hope in the hearts of fans and neutrals alike, proving that there can be something more to success and failure in the Premier League than the mere a...
Pachuca Commemorated Pokémon's 20th Anniversary With Some Great, Strange Tweeting
Look, I’m just gonna cut straight to the chase. Pachuca played Dorados de Sinaloa in some Saturday night Liga MX action, and they went all in on a Pokémon-themed night of tweeting to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the game series. The results were delightful....
The Skeptics' MLS Season Preview
There are plenty of reasons not to watch MLS. The soccer’s kinda boring, there’s a healthy dose of Soviet-ish central planning to the whole operation, and the league’s marketing is extremely “How Do You Do, Fellow Kids?” If you’re hoping for EPL quality or at least Argentine Second Division quality,...
The North London Derby Was Great For Leicester City
After losing Francis Coquelin to a red card and down 2-1, Arsenal looked more fraught than they’d ever been during their long, slow settling from Premier League favorites to title outsiders. Three weeks ago, they were two points behind Leicester, with ambitions to upset Barcelona in the Champions Le...
Dumbass American Has The Stupidest Ideas On How To "Fix" The Champions League
What you’re about to read is really, really stupid. Like, snap-your-laptop-in-two-over-your-knee stupid. Seal-up-Europe’s-borders-Donald-Trump-style-to-keep-out-Americans stupid. And as a soccer fan on this side of the Atlantic who doesn’t share sports executive Charlie Stillitano’s braindead takes ...