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![Brilliant Shithead Gerard Deulofeu Yellow Carded For Obvious Dive [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Brilliant Shithead Gerard Deulofeu Yellow Carded For Obvious Dive [Update]
Yellows for diving are generally reserved for players with reputations. A flop from your typical brave Brit is a lot less likely to receive a booking than the same one from a player refs know as a consistent victim of sniper fire....
Leyton Orient Owner Runs On The Field To Kick The Assistant Manager After Boxing Day Win
Leyton Orient got themselves a big win yesterday over Portsmouth down in League Two, the fourth-division of English soccer. After the 3-2 win, Orient owner Francesco Bechetti ran onto the field and delivered a kick to assistant manager Andy Hessenthaler....
This New Year, Resolve To Ignore Abby Wambach's Bad Opinions
Last week, USWNT legend Abby Wambach played the final match of her career with the national team. This should have been time only for rapturous praise of her long and illustrious career, with everyone acknowledging everything she’s done for the sport as she rode off into the sunset (or whatever coun...
Here's The <i>Guardian</i>'s (Bad) List Of The World's 100 Best Soccer Players
I’m not here to gin you up in righteous anger about the Guardian’s flawed ranking of the 100 best players in the world. It’s just a list, and it’s Christmas Eve. Let’s try to keep that in mind. Still, the list is pretty silly, and if you can keep your blood pressure under control, there’s no harm in...
Pissed Off Louis van Gaal Demands Apology From Media, Storms Out Of Press Conference
Yesterday had to be an ... interesting experience for beleaguered Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal. At about this hour, Twitter exploded with rumors that he had been fired and that the club had already brought in José Mourinho as his replacement. What started as a prank soon snowballed as th...
Soccer Teen's Dad Tries To Sabotage Son's Move To Liverpool By Hiding His Passport
Despite the old adage “father knows best,” there comes a time in every child’s life when they are old enough to make their own decisions. At that point, father’s wisdom and guidance becomes less a mandate from your boss and more a word of advice to be weighed as lightly or heavily as the budding adu...
Mexican Soccer Team Holds Strange, <i>Star Wars</i>-Themed Press Conference
U.S. international Omar Gonzalez was officially transferred from MLS to Liga MX club Pachuca today. He made a, uh, strange appearance at his unveiling:...
Sepp Blatter Calls Out Tough-Talking Brands For Being Phony
Freed from PR considerations following yesterday’s eight-year ban from soccer, a Nelly bandaid-rocking Sepp Blatter—who presumably sports it for the same reasons the rapper did, as an homage to his recently locked-up homies—has loosened his tongue a little bit. One of his targets is the brands and t...
Bad Soccer Man Savagely Kicks Opponent Straight In The Face
This disgusting act of wanton violence is brought to you by Mehmet Değirmenci, a Turkish amateur soccer player. As you can see in the video below, moments before Değirmenci so cruelly smashed this poor guy’s head like a teed-up football, he became upset when the ref showed him a red card for the rec...
Italian Striker Celebrates Goal With A Nice, Refreshing Beer
Empoli’s Massimo Maccarone is really old. At 36 years old, you imagine the mere act of getting up in the morning, heading to the stadium, going through warmups, and playing a grueling match has to wear on him. So far be it from anyone to judge him for celebrating his overcoming of the odds—not only ...
This Yaya Touré Goal Is The Prettiest Thing You'll See All Day
Just look at Mathieu Flamini’s face here. Sure, his mouth is like that since he’s worried Yaya Touré’s shot might hit the back of the net, but he’s also gotta be like “Daaaamn, that’s the sweetest stroke I’ve ever seen.” Check this out:...
Wow, Chelsea's Players Really Hated Mourinho, Didn't They?
An ESPN FC postmortem published shortly after José Mourinho finally paid for Chelsea’s debacle of a season with his job included a telling anecdote about the manager’s suspicions of a silent mutiny on the part of his players. In the locker room after the 1-0 loss to Bournemouth, an exasperated Mouri...
How Sepp Blatter Lost Control Of His Monster
If Sepp Blatter could take a step back and look at the bigger picture, forgetting for a moment that today’s eight-year ban from all soccer activities likely means his long career as the world’s favorite sport’s most powerful figure has ended in disgrace and infamy, he might actually be proud of what...
Sepp Blatter Banned From Soccer For Eight Years
FIFA president Sepp Blatter and UEFA president Michel Platini have been barred from the sport for eight years, over a 2011 payment of about £1.3 million that the FIFA ethics committee said was in exchange for Platini’s support of Blatter in an upcoming election. It feels almost like Al Capone and ta...
Tim Roth: I Starred In FIFA's Awful Propaganda Movie For The Money
Tim Roth is a real and talented actor who has been nominated for an Academy Award, among other recognitions of his good work, which made it very strange to see him starring as Sepp Blatter in the FIFA-financed propaganda film about the organization’s history, United Passions. FIFA spent about $27 mi...
Zlatan Casually Zlatans In A Long-Range Volley
PSG are a whopping 19 points clear atop the Ligue 1 table, thanks to Zlatan kinda yawning his way into thunderbolts like this....
Goku Doppelgänger Ivan Rakitić Is A Big Hit In Japan
Barcelona are currently in Japan for the Club World Cup, and though the locals had to be disappointed that neither Lionel Messi or Neymar were fit enough to make an appearance in the team’s first game, they discovered a new favorite player thanks to Ivan Rakitić’s halfway resemblance to Dragon Ball ...
Now I Can Die Happy Knowing Someone Pulled Off A Real-Life Rainbow Flick Goal
I don’t care that this was apparently scored in a charity match, which means Geuvânio’s rainbow flick goal was a little easier and a little less blatantly disrespectful than had it come in a competitive game. Because look at this. This is it. It is genius. The video:...
The Anatomy Of A Bogus Soccer Rumor, Starring Wayne Rooney
As any sports fan knows, rumors of trades, signings, suspensions, and lineup changes—almost always vaguely attributed to sources—dominate sports media reporting, and therefore our conversations about sports. (Perhaps the causal arrow points in the other direction?) But what the American sports fan m...
Chelsea Conveniently Pile Blame For Their Disastrous Season All On Mourinho
While no one could seriously argue that José Mourinho didn’t earn today’s firing because of his team’s god-awful performances this season, it would be similarly disingenuous to paint the coach himself as the sole cause of this inexplicable confluence of events. The club’s technical director, natural...