screamer Page 124 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Neymar Sends Inch-Perfect Free Kick Into Top Corner To Draw Barcelona Level
I can’t possibly write it better than Ray Hudson can scream it, so:...
Everton Whomp Chelsea Behind Steven Naismith Hat Trick
Nine minutes into Everton’s match against Chelsea, Muhamed Besic had to leave because of a hamstring injury. Normally, losing a starter less than ten minutes into the game is a bad thing. But not on this day. On this day Steven Naismith replaced Besic, and promptly did this: ...
David De Gea Wanted Out Of Manchester, So Why The Hell Did He Just Sign A New Contract?
After all of that—after years of speculation and covert contacts and backroom handshake deals and the biggest deadline-day debacle in recent memory—David De Gea has signed a new longterm contract with Manchester United....
This Is Why Teams Put Up With David Luiz, The Defender Who Doesn't Defend
In most minds, at least in the English-speaking world, David Luiz is more of a punchline than a real player with strengths and weaknesses like any other....
Mexican TV Station Uses Donald Trump To Troll USMNT
The USMNT and Mexico are all set to square off next month in a crucial, one-off playoff for admission into the 2017 Confederations Cup in Russia. One Mexican TV station has pretty ingeniously cut up bits from a Donald Trump speech to predict America’s downfall. Here’s the TV spot:...
Manchester United Don't Know Who They Are
It’s tough to make sense of the freighter plane full of cash Manchester United dispatched to Monaco on deadline day, seemingly out of the blue (but not spurred by panic! they are certainly not panicking!), in exchange for relatively little-known French forward prospect Anthony Martial. It would be e...
U.S. Soccer Continues To Sabotage Soccer In The U.S.
I’m like every other flag-loving USMNT fan; I liked the hiring of accomplished manager Jürgen Klinsmann, I root for our individual players when they trek overseas, and I lose my shit when the national team wins even fairly meaningless matches....
Soccer Lady Has Absolutely Zero Aiming Skills, Scores Awful Own Goal
The announcer had the correct reaction to Helén Eke’s foot mysteriously turning into jelly upon contact with the ball: “Nej nej nej!” As did Eke, who attempted to tear off her ponytail, no doubt to disguise her appearance so that she could creep out of the stadium and hide under a rock for the next ...
Police Officer Hits Rowdy NYCFC Fan With Stun Gun
During a NYCFC home game at Yankee Stadium on Saturday last weekend, NYPD officers were recorded arresting two fans who had reportedly been involved in a fight, turning a stun gun on one. Here are two videos depicting the stun gun’s use and the aftermath:...
Pissed-Off Saido Berahino Swears To Never Play Another Game For West Brom
This is why you should’ve just taken the money, man....
The Botched David de Gea Transfer Was A Glorious Clusterfuck
Transfer deadline day is always liable to turn up a couple shockers, either in completed deals from out of nowhere or transfers that appear imminent only to collapse right before the crossing of the final T. Real Madrid’s failed attempted to buy David de Gea from Manchester United is one of the latt...
Have Manchester City <i>Really</i> Wrapped Up The Premier League Title Already?
Is this real life? We thought it was something last year when Chelsea became champions-elect by the start of November, but sweet Jesus, we’re only four games into the new season and it already looks nearly certain that Manchester City will lift the Premier League trophy come May....
Little Kid's Mind Blown Upon Realizing He's Standing Next To Wayne Rooney
“Doot-da-doo, just waiting to go out on the pitch with Ashley Williams. Man, this is pretty cool. Oops, ref coming through I better get out of the—wait a minute... is that... HOLY SCHNIKES!!!!” Here’s a Vine of lil dude’s happiest moment in life:...
West Ham Fans Keep Getting Victory Tattoos
West Ham beat Liverpool 3-0 today, which means Leicester City remain in the top four. It also means that fan Jon High has a new tattoo. What follows is a story in two tweets about bold predictions, keeping your word, and how cool Manuel Lanzini’s name is....
Chelsea Shit The Bed Against Crystal Palace
For just the second time in 100 games under José Mourinho, Chelsea have lost at Stamford Bridge. We are just four weeks into the EPL season yet Chelsea already trail Manchester City by eight points after today’s 2-1 defeat to Crystal Palace. ...
Wow, Maybe Roberto Soldado Doesn't Suck Anymore!
Well would you look at that! Roberto Soldado—once renowned for his uncanny ability to get goals without ever looking all that impressive doing so, now more famous as the world’s second-biggest bottler (behind fellow Spaniard Fernando Torres) stemming from his terrible stint with Tottenham—is back in...
Are Everton Really Dumb Enough To Turn Down Tons Of Money For John Stones?
John Stones is a promising English center back currently playing for Everton, who’s pretty good and has every chance to get better. His talent, youth, potential, position, and Englishness all make him a very hot and very valuable commodity. (Word to Raheem Sterling.) But apparently out of some misgu...
Here's The Champions League Group Stage Draw
Now that the qualifying rounds are over, the Champions League can begin in earnest. The groups all look pretty even, with Manchester City’s Group D probably being the toughest and Chelsea’s Group G the easiest. Also, half the Round of 16 could easily be made up of English and Spanish clubs....
Keeper Realizes He Doesn't Actually Have Time Freezing Powers, Gives Up Goal
Generally you don’t want to take five minutes before clearing a backpass. Welp, you learn something every day!...
Messi Turning Boateng Into A Folding Chair Voted Best Goal Of UCL Season
Ahead of the Champions League group stage draw today, UEFA handed out its award for best goal of last season’s tournament. Naturally, it went to this Lionel Messi stunner during that heavyweight fight that was Barcelona-Bayern Munich. I could stare at this GIF for hours:...