screamer Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Everton Won Nothing But The Right To Gloat
The greatest Premier League title race in history was settled yesterday, with Manchester City edging out Liverpool by a single point. Liverpool lost one game all season, and their 97 points would have made them runaway champions in any campaign other than the last two. But all they have now is a sec...
Manchester City Crowned Champions Of Tightest Premier League Title Race Ever
After the season-long struggle between Manchester City and Liverpool to determine which club would have the slightly more perfect season and be named Premier League champion, it all came down to today, the final matchday of the season. And while it was tight there for a while, City did as expected a...
Arsenal And Chelsea Advance To Europa League Final, Making Both European Finals All-English Affairs
Arsenal and Chelsea both qualified for the Europa League final today by advancing past Valencia and Eintracht Frankfurt, respectively. That means both the Europa League and Champions League finals will be contested by English clubs, officially consecrating 2019 as the year of Premier League supremac...
Barcelona's Loss To Liverpool Was No One's And Everyone's Fault
It’s the how that really stings. That Barcelona, a very good team that nonetheless suffers from several glaring deficiencies, lost in the Champions League semifinals to Liverpool, one of only two truly great teams in Europe this season and probably the one best equipped to solve the particular probl...
Vincent Kompany's Pile-Driver Goal Keeps Manchester City's Title Hopes Alive
No matter what happened in today’s Manchester City-Leicester City match, this brain-meltingly tight Premier League title race was going to come down to the final day of the season. But with the absolute screamer Vincent Kompany scored to give Man City the win today, the Citizens managed to put all f...
Goalkeeper Pulls Off The Rare Cheap Shot-Flop-Red Card Trifecta
Allan McGregor, goalkeeper for Scottish Premiership club Rangers, displayed some truly astounding audacity in a match against Hibernian this weekend. Not only did he sneakily jump up and kick a Hibs player in the back in response to a minor annoyance, and not only did he fall on the ground clutching...
Huddersfield Town Snapped A Corner Flag And Manchester United's Top-Four Chances
Manchester United didn’t control their top-four destiny going into Sunday’s match against Huddersfield Town—a club that had been guaranteed relegation for quite some time now. Three points from a win was the minimum required to keep any hopes of Champions League qualification alive, but they also ne...
Mohamed Salah Exits Game On Stretcher After Suffering A Head Injury Against Newcastle
In the 67th minute of Liverpool’s match against Newscastle, Mohamed Salah darted into the penalty box to get to the end of a lobbed pass and try to score. At the same time, Newcastle keeper Martin Dúbravka ran off his line to try and clear the ball himself. Both players inevitably crashed into each ...
Valencia Condemn Fans' Nazi Salutes And Monkey Gestures Towards Arsenal Supporters
Another week, another incident of supporter racism in soccer, this time in jolly ol’ London. After Valencia crumbled away to Arsenal 3-1 in the first leg of the Europa League semifinal, Telegraph journalist Tomé Morrissy-Swan captured a handful of Valencia supporters throwing up the Nazi salute and ...
Old Man Messi's Still Got It
If you wanted evidence of time’s inevitable erosion of even the most resistant of talents, you would’ve found it just before halftime of today’s Barcelona-Liverpool Champions League semifinal. It was then that Lionel Messi intercepted a backpass just past the halfway line, found himself essentially ...
The Premier League Will Be Won, Not Lost
There was a stretch of time on Sunday, just as there have been a handful of moments over the last month, where it seemed like Manchester City would finally drop points. Burnley, at their Turf Moor home, were paragons of the “bend but don’t break” philosophy, experts in the dark arts of shithousery. ...
Leeds Manager Marcelo Bielsa Instructs Team To Give Aston Villa An Uncontested Scoring Chance To Make Up For A Controversial Goal
Up until the 71st minute, the match between Leeds United and Aston Villa had been relatively uneventful. But once the game clock hit 71:20, the English Championship bout decided to make up for its lack of excitement over the next several moments with a debatably unsportsmanlike goal leading to a scu...
MLS Has Turned Carlos Vela Into Lionel Messi
As MLS has pivoted away from importing its star power via aged former greats and toward a strategy of bringing in younger players who, by talent or drive or personality, couldn’t quite make it at the sport’s highest levels, the league has had more success at presenting fans with players capable of r...
Perfection Is Now The Standard In Pep Guardiola's Premier League
The fundamental idea undergirding the pervading ideology of Premier League exceptionalism is that the English league is uniquely competitive. All the manifestations of this exceptionalism—from the holding of the Premier League title above all other domestic league trophies and nearly on par with the...
This Penalty Kick Is So Bad That The Player Who Took It Was Immediately Cut
It’s been quite the whirlwind week for Venezuelan soccer player Bendix Parra. Last Tuesday, he was a starter in one of the biggest matches in the history of his club, Paraguay’s Independiente. This Tuesday, he found himself unemployed when Independiente tore up his contract. All of this for one espe...
Shane Long Sets New Premier League Record For Fastest Goal By Scoring In Seven Seconds
Shane Long wasted literally no time putting Southampton up on Watford today, throwing his body in front of a Craig Cathcart pass and running onto the deflected ball before flipping it over Watford’s keeper just 7.69 seconds into the match, making it the fastest goal ever scored in Premier League his...
VAR Will Ruin Everything
Yesterday, millions around the world watched Raheem Sterling cap one of the wildest matches they will ever see with a stunning last-gasp winning goal, only to be told a minute or so later that it never happened....
F.A. Panel Says Wayne Hennessey Is Too Stupid To Have Done Nazi Salute
No one could have been more delighted to hear that Crystal Palace goalkeeper Wayne Hennessey is apparently a huge idiot than Wayne Hennessey himself. That’s because the F.A. panel tasked with investigating a photo in which the Welsh keeper appeared to have been making a Nazi salute gesture cited tha...
Leeds Fan Breaks Ankle While Celebrating A Goal, Waits Until After The Game To Go To Hospital
With a tight 1-0 home win over Sheffield Wednesday this weekend, Leeds United took a big step toward sealing promotion to the Premier League next season. In the explosion of joy following Jack Harrison’s 65th minute goal, one Leeds fan exploded his ankle during his raucous celebration, which require...
New York Red Bulls' Kaku Blasts Ball Into A Fan's Face, Gets Sent Off
New York Red Bulls midfielder Kaku was sent off with a red card in the final moments of the Red Bulls’ 2-2 draw with Sporting Kansas City last night, after he kicked a ball in frustration and it struck a fan in the front row. The fan reportedly was left with a bloody face and needing medical attenti...