screamer Page 142 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Evil Troll Spirits Invade Body Of Basel Keeper
Hm. We were giving Basel keeper Tomáš Vaclík the benefit of the doubt earlier, when he was frozen stiff by this nasty free kick, but judging from whatever's going on in that GIF above he might actually not be in control of his own body....
Cristiano Ronaldo's Forehead Saved Real Madrid's Ass
Ugh. Uggggghhhhhhhh. Just when we looked so close to seeing this shaky Real Madrid team gag up their 2-0 first leg lead in the Champions League to Schalke, of all teams, up sprang that leaping salmon Cristiano Ronaldo to save the day....
Porto Player Curls In Free Kick; Keeper Just Stands There Like "Nah"
That's got to be the worst feeling for a keeper, seeing a free kick swerve towards goal, knowing full well you have no chance of getting to it, and praying that the bangs off the crossbar or something right as you hear the ball twisting against the nylon of the net....
Little Russian Soccer Kid Gets Shit Wrecked When Big Coach Kicks Him
Sure, Russia may have their own standards for coaching, child-rearing, and acceptable levels of violence in sports, but a grown man molly-whopping one of his charges right on the pitch, then barking at him to get back in the game has to cross some kind of threshold....
Hey, Soccer Guy, Yanking A Goat's Horns Is A Dumb Way To Celebrate Goals
We aren't exactly clear what Cologne's Anthony Ujah was going for with this goal celebration involving club mascot Hennes the goat—is he miming riding it? are the horns like motorcycle handlebars?—but what we're quite certain of is ol' Hennes isn't digging it....
Paul Pogba Scores Great Goal, Has Great Hair, Is Great
While Arsenal were laying the smackdown on Manchester United today, ex-United player Paul Pogba was in Italy's Serie A playing for Juventus, and he was flourishing, and it was a beautiful thing to behold, and we're unspeakably lucky to have him in our life doing wondrous things, all the time....
Ángel Di María Gets Ice Grill, Then Red Card For Grabbing Ref
About a minute before the GIF you see above, referee Michael Oliver gave Manchester United's Ángel Di María a yellow card for an obvious dive. Frustrated and angry, Di María decided to snatch at the back of the ref's shirt, demanding an explanation. That's when Oliver pierces Di María's soul with th...
A Gorgeous Field-Level Look At The Copenhagen Derby
Whether or not you had a rooting interest in FC. Copenhagen's 3-1 win over Brøndby yesterday, you'll appreciate this video the home side put together. Best part comes at 2:30 when the flares are lit....
Damn, Even We Have To Admit That This Seattle Sounders Goal Is A Beauty
You know how we feel about MLS, but still, even we can't front on a team goal of this quality. This is a textbook three man weave the likes of which you'd be happy to pull off in training, let alone a match. Pure class. Bravo, Sounders....
NYCFC Keeper Josh Saunders Smokes Head Against Goal Post
New York City FC's goalkeeper Josh Saunders suffered this ugly head injury in today's season opener against Orlando City. While corralling a free kick, an opposing player runs into him, carrying him back towards goal where he drills the back of his head into the post. Here's a GIF of the blow:...
Gonzalo Higuaín Forgets He's Really Good, Bungles Really Easy Goal
In a season where Phillip Hofmann committed this crime against finishing, it would take a special bit of incompetence to snatch away the award of Miss Of The Season. This is not that. It is, however, a really bad effort from a really good player, making it particularly embarrassing in its own righ...
Soccer Player's Leg Snaps Like A Twig After Tackle [WARNING: GRUESOME]
Warning: the video above of Roma’s Radja Nainggolan sliding in on Chievo Verona’s Federico Mattiello and giving him a new knee joint in the middle of his shin is pretty gnarly. Watch (and listen, because you can hear the thing crack) at your own peril....
Messi Scores 3 But Suárez Leads Barça To Top Of La Liga In 6-1 Win
This is precisely the kind of game Barcelona were hoping to get out of Luis Suárez when bringing him in this summer, and the kind he's been delivering regularly as of late. With his combination of confidence, unceasing work, deadly finishing, and selflessness, he was able to will an unimpressive B...
Aston Villa Fans Invade The Pitch As Team Advances To FA Cup Semis
With 90 seconds left in extra time and Aston Villa all but assured of advancing to the semifinals of the FA Cup, Villa fans were hyped! I get that playing in Wembley is exciting especially because you have that song about playing in Wembley, but invading the pitch before the game ends against West B...
Marseille Goalie Catches Water Bottle Chucked At Him From The Stands
Marseille beat Toulouse 6-1 last night, and a Toulouse fan—perhaps upset that Toulouse is on track to be relegated—tried to take his frustrations out by chucking a water bottle at Steve Mandanda. But the fan couldn't have picked a worse target, as Mandanda is Marseille's goalkeeper, where his entire...
Luis Suárez Is Back And He's Coming To Devour The World
It feels a little weird saying this about a known shithead, but we can't help but appreciate how Luis Suárez's hard work on the pitch is finally resulting in the goals his play has deserved. But even in the face of criticism earlier in the season, as Suárez struggled to mesh perfectly with his new B...
MLS Players And Owners Agree To Keep League Mired In Mediocrity
We're still in the process of digesting last night's surprise CBA accord between MLS and its players. Until or unless we get to dig into the specifics, it'll be difficult to judge exactly how the new agreement will affect those involved. Of course, the specifics will mainly be of interest for those ...
MLS And Players Union Reach Agreement. What Does It Mean, And Who Won?
Twenty-four hours after it looked like a work stoppage was inevitable—and 48 hours before the beginning of the season—Major League Soccer and the Major League Soccer Players Union announced that they had reached a tentative deal on a new collective bargaining agreement. Here are the highlights o...
Yawn: Just Another Unbelievable Messi Pass For Neymar To Chip Home
Jeez, we get it guys, you three Barcelona forwards can score whenever you want. But how many times this season have we seen the ball go from Suárez to Messi to the Twilight Zone to Neymar and into the net? Maybe switch it up once or twice. You know, for our sake....
All Signs Pointing To MLS Work Stoppage
As became evident almost immediately into talks for a new MLS collective bargaining agreement, the biggest issue of contention was always going to be free agency. If reports from the less-than-conciliatory negotiating table are to be believed, it's not looking good for Friday's planned season kick...