screamer Page 148 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Biggest Dude In The World Just Scored Against Liverpool
They don't make 'em like Adebayo Akinfenwa too often. The man-mountain stands at five-foot-eleven, has to be pushing 200 pounds, and can reportedly bench press damn near 400 pounds. That's how you get a world's-best 97 strength rating in the FIFA games....
Swansea Give Up Second Hilaribad Goal Of The Week, Now To Max Power
Fresh off this embarrassing performance Monday, Swansea City keepers are continuing their reign of clearance terror today in the FA Cup. This time, it's Gerhard Tremmel who can't get the ball past League Two side Tranmere Rovers midfielder Max Power. Who coaches these keepers?...
Lionel Messi Shows Off Unreal First Touch On Japanese Game Show
Yeah, we’ve seen that left foot of Lionel Messi’s cushion soccer balls flying at him from all different angles in game, but how about making him boot the ball about 60 feet into the air over a bar, sprint over to where it falls, and try to control it? Yep, still no problem....
Fans Righteously Pissed At Realizing NYCFC Is A Glorified Farm Team
The strange Frank Lampard/NYCFC/Manchester City love triangle always felt like it was going to end in a bit of a train wreck, with Lampard's stay with City set to end this month and the MLS expansion club counting on him to be its face. Well, that train just jumped the tracks: Lampard is staying in ...
Reports: Gerrard To Leave Liverpool At End Of Season, Maybe To MLS
It's always risky trusting the English soccer rumor mill, but this one looks certain: long-time captain Steven Gerrard will leave Liverpool at the end of the season, quite possibly for MLS. ...
How Liverpool's New Formation Saved A Disastrous Season
It's taken about, oh, half a season for Liverpool to look anything like the free-flowing, attacking side that should've won the Premier League last season, but if Monday's 4-1 dismantling of Swansea is anything to go by, they might've finally gotten back to their best....
Greek Club Such A Disaster, Manager Quits For Second Time This Season
OFI Crete manager Gennaro Gattuso has come to realize that it's kind of hard to motivate yourself and your players when the club refuses to pay salaries, makes you pay certain club expenses, and constantly finds new creditors they owe money to, leading to possible transfer bans and point deductions....
Arsenal Starlet Gedion Zelalem Gets U.S. Citizenship; USMNT Fans Rejoice
We're gonna get Gedion, we're gonna get Gedion! Nanna nanna boo boo, Germany, go stick your hand in scheiße!...
EPL Manager, Fed Up With This Shit, Leaves Good Team For Bad One
In what has been a whirlwind turn of events over the past day, Alan Pardew has left Newcastle after four years in favor of taking up the Crystal Palace job. It is a surprising decision to say the least....
Liverpool Score One Of The Most Ridiculous, Hilarious Goals Of The Year
Łukasz Fabiański wishes he had this one back, as the Swansea keeper's attempt to clear the ball instead found its target of Liverpool midfielder Adam Lallana's chest, against which it ricocheted directly into Swansea's goal....
Angry Soccer Guy Gets All In Another Soccer Guy's Face, Gets Kissed
It's always funny when athletes go head-to-head in anger, shouting at each other with their lips mere inches apart. You always watch to see if their mouths touch. Well, one soccer dude removed all the ambiguity from this tête-à-tête when he blatantly smooched his opponent right on the mouth. How cut...
West Brom And Manchester City Played In A Real-Life Snow Globe Today
It might've been a day too late for West Bromwich citizens dreaming of a white Christmas, but at least the they got to enjoy an unending stream of flakes during today's Boxing Day match against Manchester City....
Fernando Torres Set To Rejoin Boyhood Club Atlético Madrid
Just when it was looking like no one wanted to host the once great Fernando Torres's final years in the sport, the club that gave him his start, Atlético Madrid, has come in to rescue him. As the headline from Madrid sports daily AS reads, El Niño—the kid—returns as a man....
How Real Are These Rumors About Gareth Bale To Manchester United?
The January transfer window is almost here, which means the rumor mill is just starting to rev up into the senseless, self-serving, outlandish, and dangerously addicting clusterfuck we've come to expect. And while some of the rumors can already be written off fairly easily—Barcelona to sell Busque...
MLS Farm Team Coach Charged With Murder Of Off-Duty Cop In England
Christopher Spendlove, an assistant coach for USL Pro's Oklahoma City Energy FC, and a friend of his have been charged with killing an off-duty police officer in their native England. The two former American collegiate athletes are also charged with inflicting grievous bodily harm on two other offic...
Who Cares If Jérémy Ménez Was Just Fucking Around, This Goal Is Dope
"Well actually," pedantic soccer fan (but I repeat myself) begins, "Ménez had been offside for a while, so the 'goal' was"—yeah, shut the fuck up. Just look at the spin on that thing:...
Player Gets Red Card For Hacking Down His Own Brother
I mean, I get it. Sometimes, brothers suck. Sometimes, shit gets heated. Sometimes, there's nothing to do but take a running start, slide two feet through the back of their legs, and deal with Ma Dukes later....
Cristiano Ronaldo Statue Features A Big Ol' Bulging Dick
Cristiano Ronaldo is, quite deservedly, an icon in his hometown of Funchal, Madeira, Portugal—so much so that he has a museum dedicated in his honor. This weekend, Ronaldo was on hand to witness the unveiling of a new statue made in his image. What can we say? The statue is sporting a huge erection....
Viggo Mortensen Calls Cristiano Ronaldo A Pretty Boy Choke Artist
Viggo Mortensen—the NYC-born, Buenos Aires-raised Danish-American actor most famous for playing Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings movies—is a humongous fan of Argentine club San Lorenzo. His team has reached the final of the FIFA Club World Cup, where they face Real Madrid. As well as acting, Mortens...
Both Of Lionel Messi's Feet Must Be Made Of Glue
Let's ignore the video of Lionel Messi's second goal today for a minute, and just stare at the picture above. That's the world's best left foot plucking a screaming ball out of the air as casually as a frog would an unexpecting fly, or Odell Beckham would a lobbed duck of a pass in pregame warm-up...