screamer Page 165 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
10 Young Players Who Could Be On The USMNT At The 2018 World Cup
In the last calendar year alone, Jürgen Klinsmann called in over 60 different players for roster spots, as he tinkered with his final 23 for the USMNT. Granted, we knew players like Clint Dempsey, Tim Howard, and Michael Bradley had unquestioned spots, but then again, so did Landon Donovan. Plenty o...
Argentina's Javier Mascherano Says He Tore His Anus Against The Dutch
Javier Mascherano did not have a pleasant Wednesday. In Argentina's match against the Netherlands, not only did Mascherano take a hit to the head, but he says he suffered another painful injury while defending a shot by Arjen Robben....
Angry Brazil Fan Destroys TV In Street
This is a (possibly drunk?) Brazil fan flinging a high definition television around in the street after finding himself on the wrong end of a 7-1 thrashing. YouTube (with the help of Google translation) fills in some details:...
What Brazil's Loss Meant, And What It Didn't Mean
When you visit the Museu do Futebol in São Paulo, you are at one point obliged to enter a long, narrow, pitch-black room, in which the increasingly loud pounding of a heartbeat plays heavily over concealed speakers as images of the Maracanazo—Brazil's infamous loss in the final of the 1950 World C...
From Disappearing Donkey To Toasted: The 136 Skin Colors Of Brazil
The skin tones of Brazilians quite literally span the entire spectrum of possible human hues. Reflecting this are the 136 creative descriptions Brazilians came up with in a survey asking them to self-assess their color:...
Argentine Player Hit In The Head, Stumbles And Falls, Stays In The Game
Argentina's Javier Mascherano couldn't even stand up after clashing heads with a Dutch player. He was taken off the pitch for only a couple moments—concussion protocol!—before returning. ...
FIFA Is Its Own Metaphor: A Day Inside The Underground Bunker
Excerpted from The Soccer Diaries: An American's Thirty-Year Pursuit of the International Game....
Do We Believe The Netherlands Yet?
Louis van Gaal is as arrogant as they come. In this World Cup—as has been the case throughout most of van Gaal's career—the results have followed suit....
Why Your World Cup Stadium Sucks: Estádio Nacional, Brasília
Estádio Nacional has the grim glory of being the most expensive stadium in Brazil, costing some $900m in public funds. (Now with more pictures!)...
Nothing Is Sadder Than Lego Júlio César Getting Bombarded With Goals
The French publication L'Équipe created a Lego depiction of Germany's thrashing of Brazil and it's a pretty cool little thing that really hammers home the onslaught poor Júlio César was under. An added bonus is that, it turns out, a totally helpless stop-motion Lego man is very sad and very funny....
Kid In Anti-Gambling Ad Is Sad Because Dad Bet Everything On Germany
Look, gambling addiction is a serious thing and, really, this anti-gambling spot from the National Council on Problem Gambling only proves the point. In it, several young boys sit around yakking about the World Cup and who they want to win. Each kid has a favorite—one likes Brazil, another likes Arg...
Germany-Brazil Was The Most-Tweeted Sporting Event In History
If you are reading this, you probably watched and wondered at Germany's 7-1 brutalizing of Brazil. And there's a good chance you tweeted about it, because it was one of the most stunning outcomes sports has ever seen. If so, you're a little part of history....
Today's Brazilian Newspaper Covers Are Pure Sadness
If there's one thing to be thankful for in the wake of Brazil's World Cup meltdown, it's that the host country's stunning 7-1 defeat gave Brazilian newspaper editors a chance to cut loose and really go all-in with the despair. With that in mind, let's survey (via Newseum) today's best, saddest Bra...
Visualized: Every Shot From Germany's Dominant First Half Over Brazil
This, from The New York Times's live coverage of Germany's 7-1 drubbing of Brazil yesterday, is just the saddest. It only tracks the first half, but that's where all the damage was done. The Germans scored five goals on 10 shots, nine of which were on target, while Brazil bookended the half with two...
Luiz Felipe Scolari Falls On His Sword
There's something about a mollywhomping that turns losers philosophical. As if there's no place to hide, no excuses that can possibly be made, and the only way to salvage some dignity is to humble yourself before a world already inclined to be sympathetic. After Brazil's 7-1 defeat at the hands of G...
Germany-Brazil, Summarized By A Roomba
This might be my favorite recap of the Germany-Brazil match. Brazil were so awful, a damn Roomba clowned them on Instagram....
World Cup Jinx Mick Jagger Screwed The Brazilians Again
Mick Jagger has had a run of unwitting World Cup predictions as good as any octopus—only Mick's endorsement is to be avoided at all costs. Anyone he supports, loses. He was in Brazil's corner today, naturally....
Germany Ruin Brazil In World Cup; People Make Holocaust Jokes
Germany routed Brazil, 7-1 in today's World Cup semifinal. Many were sad. Others saw the opportunity for Holocaust jokes....
Brazil's Meltdown Was Too Sad For The World-Cup-Logo-As-Facepalm Meme
The "World Cup logo as a sad, facepalming guy" meme has been around since the start of the tournament. When Brazil was down 5-0 to Germany, it looked like this version, via @dorybenami, would end up being the perfection of the meme. And then Brazil went ahead and conceded two more goals. So much for...