screamer Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Las Vegas Police Have Put Out A Warrant For Cristiano Ronaldo's DNA
As first reported by TMZ and further elaborated on by the Wall Street Journal today, the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department have issued a warrant for Cristiano Ronaldo’s DNA in connection to the department’s investigation into the 2009 incident between Ronaldo and Kathryn Mayorga, in which th...
VAR Shat All Over Yesterday's Tottenham-Chelsea League Cup Match
Tottenham beat Chelsea in the first leg of their League Cup semifinal tie yesterday by a score of 1-0 thanks to a video replay-awarded penalty decision that was so comprehensively terrible that it had both managers trashing VAR after the match....
Injured Soccer Player's Foot Run Over By The Medical Cart Meant To Rescue Him
Some soccer videos require hundreds of words to describe their true beauty and resonance. The passing angles are dissected to the nth-degree, or the trajectory of a free kick is gushed about as the work of art it truly is....
![Woman Alleges Cristiano Ronaldo Threatened to Have Her Body "Cut Up" And "Thrown In A River" [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/akcdj2fc3ivplitbazii.jpg)
Woman Alleges Cristiano Ronaldo Threatened to Have Her Body "Cut Up" And "Thrown In A River" [Update]
Last September, Kathryn Mayorga revealed publicly that she was the woman who had accused soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo of rape in 2010, leading to an out-of-court settlement that was first reported by German newspaper Der Spiegel in 2017. Mayorga cast aside her anonymity in September to recount her...
Finnish Soccer Player Refuses To Join National Team Camp In Qatar Because Qatar Is Evil
Riku Riski, a forward who plays for HJK Helsinki and the Finland national team, recently turned down an invitation to a national team training camp held in Qatar. Today, Finnish paper the Helsingin Sanomat reports that Riski rejected the call-up due to ethical concerns with the infamously human righ...
Hopefully We've Seen The Last Of Neymar's God-Awful Fake Dreadlocks
Elaborate hairstyles of both the well- and ill-advised variety have been a constant throughout Neymar’s career. And while we’ve enjoyed seeing his shift away from the perms he once constantly rocked in favor of more natural, kinky looks in recent years, we hope to God that yesterday’s debut of his a...
Soccer Player Says It Only Looks Like He Did Nazi Salute Because Of Some Unbelievable Circumstances
Crystal Palace goalkeeper Wayne Hennessey is taking heat because of a group photo taken this weekend that appears to show him doing a Nazi salute in the background. More ridiculous than the logic used to try that gesture for a picture is Hennessey’s explanation for why it’s actually just a coinciden...
Franck Ribéry Defends Right To Eat Salt Bae's Garbage, Tells His Haters' Grandmothers And Mothers To Get Fucked
No sane person would flush gold down a toilet, nor would one consume gold-encrusted meat, but Bayern Munich forward Franck Ribéry essentially did both when he filmed himself at a Dubai restaurant preparing to put a steak flecked with the precious metal into what he later demonstrated to be his potty...
Let's All Gawk At This Impossible Lionel Messi Pass
Every day, we wake up to face the cruel realities of a world driven to ruin by overconsumption and powerful men’s self-absorbed disregard for the rest of us. We all find ways to overcome the internal crises that come with being alive in 2019, finding solace in moments that make us believe that there...
Real Madrid Is In A Pit of Sadness Right Now
When the ghost of Santi Cazorla is out here scoring braces on you for a team in the relegation zone, maybe your season’s not going so hot. And so, while the rest of the soccer world was watching the Manchester City-Liverpool banger, Real Madrid were busy writing the newest chapter of their disappoin...
Manchester City Beat Liverpool And The Shit Just Got Real<em></em><em></em>
The act of playing soccer is so impressive because it involves 11 individuals combining their very specific and often disparate skills to create a amoeba-like whole that can progress a ball up and down a large field and into a goal using only its 22 feet while a competing body tries to stand in its ...
How Is Christian Pulisic Going To Fit In At Chelsea?
On Wednesday, Premier League giants Chelsea purchased Christian Pulisic from Borussia Dortmund for an astronomical €64 million (nearly $73 million). After finishing out this season in Germany, the winger will officially become a member of one of the biggest clubs in the world, in the best league in ...
Hot Damn, Chelsea Just Bought Christian Pulisic For A Shit-Ton Of Money
The rumor mill has been in overdrive these past few weeks about Christian Pulisic’s future, and today we got official confirmation of a move that still feels a little shocking: Premier League giants Chelsea have purchased the artist formally known as America’s Wonderteen from Borussia Dortmund for a...
Arsenal's Defense Is Still Complete Garbage
For a couple of minutes, Arsenal had hope, and it’s always the hope that gets you. The Gunners marched into Anfield to take on undefeated, league-leading Liverpool and actually managed to take the lead in the early minutes, with 21-year-old winger Ainsley Maitland-Niles slotting home a beautiful cro...
Mamma Mia, That's A Spicy Own Goal!
Italian soccer found itself beset by the twin scourges of violence and racism yesterday, which is maybe fortunate for Ascoli goalkeeper Filippo Perucchini, since his humiliating own goal in a Serie B match against Palermo today would’ve definitely been front-page news in less violent and racist time...
Inter Forced To Play Two Matches In Closed Stadium For Having Racist Shithead Fans
This year, Italy’s Serie A adopted the English tradition of holding matches on the day after Christmas, known as Boxing Day, in hopes of showing off its domestic product to the widest possible set of eyeballs. Of course, as the hopefully embarrassed country came to realize, showing off the glories o...
Surprise! Paul Pogba Is Still Really Damn Good
Following a half-season of angry training videos, notable benchings, and frothing tension, Paul Pogba wants you to remember that he can still do shit like this: ...
Manchester City Suddenly Have Their Backs Against The Wall
Halfway through the Premier League season, a stylish team from North West England has distinguished themselves as the sole front runner for the EPL title, holding a six-point gap over a flawed team from London. Also, Manchester City are in vague contention....
Jordan Pickford's Manuel Neuer Impression Ended In Disaster
Tottenham pantsed Everton something serious this afternoon, scoring six goals on the hapless Toffees. Their attack was ruthless and Everton never seemed to get up to speed. Son Heung-Min banged in the opener with a well-placed shot, though really, the story of that goal is Everton keeper Jordan Pic...
Brilliant Shithead Hatem Ben Arfa Is Yet Again Back From The Dead
It was three years ago that Hatem Ben Arfa, the supremely talented and infamously knuckleheaded French attacker, was in the midst of a career resurrection. Since then, Ben Arfa’s seen his career buried once again by the shitheadedness that has all too often overshadowed his immense gifts. And yet, l...