screamer Page 27 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Barcelona Played A Game On One Of The Worst Pitches You'll Ever See
Barcelona played Real Valladolid on Saturday in a match remarkable not for any brilliant passages of play or spectacular goals, but instead for the atrocious state of Valladolid’s pitch, which looked more like a sand pit with a thin layer of grass sprinkled on top than a field of play befitting some...

La Liga Players Hate Idea Of Playing Games In The U.S. So Much They Might Go On Strike
About a week after Spain’s La Liga and U.S. sports marketing firm Relevant Sports announced a deal that would see one regular season La Liga match played in the U.S. every year for the next 15 years, the Spanish league’s players have weighed in. It turns out they think the idea is trash....

One Month After Promised Solutions, Women's Pro Soccer Team Still Doesn't Have Running Water
Over the last month, a series of reports have detailed the squalid living and practicing conditions that players for the NWSL’s Sky Blue FC—including USWNT legend Carli Lloyd—have had to endure. As The Equalizer and Once A Metro reported in July, and Deadspin reported earlier this month, the team’s ...

Dimitar Berbatov's Arrogant, Curse-Filled Breakdowns Of His Old Goals Are Wonderful
Many players have scored more goals than Dimitar Berbatov, but few have scored as many flatly stunning ones, or done so with the flair and insouciance that made nearly every one of his goals legitimately preposterous. It was preposterous that any human body could, as a simple matter of physics, exec...

Arsène Wenger On Unemployed Life: "I Can Sit For Hours Contemplating The Horizon"
We’ve grown used to Arsène Wenger’s deeply philosophical musings as revealed in interviews over the years, and we’re glad to say that this fount of wisdom shows no signs of stinting even though he’s no longer managing Arsenal. And for a man who was so famously, singularly obsessed with soccer, who e...

Adama Traoré, The King Of Dribbles, Is Just Getting Started
The new European soccer season has only just begun and we’ve already seen Adama Traoré strengthen his claim on the “best dribbler in the world” crown....

Paul Pogba's Agent Shit-Talks Man United Legend, And Things Are Looking Bad
Following Manchester United for the couple years, it’s hard to combat the sense that Paul Pogba isn’t very happy at the club right now. But for as up-and-down as his return to England has been, it seems like right now—with his manager criticizing him and the team playing poorly and unadventurously a...

Only José Mourinho Can Save Manchester United From Himself
If he weren’t such a hemorrhoidal asshole, you could be inclined to feel somewhat sorry for José Mourinho....

European Soccer Is Loaded With American Kids Ready To Tear Shit Up<em></em>
American wonderteen Christian Pulisic will begin his march to the 2019 Ballon d’Or this weekend when Borussia Dortmund open their Bundesliga season against RB Leipzig. It’s hard to believe that Pulisic is still only 19, since he’s already got two stellar seasons at Dortmund under his belt and is the...

Lazio Ultras Urge Female Fans To "Avoid Their Sacred Space" At Stadium
One of the leaders of the Irriducibili, Italian side Lazio’s biggest fan organization, sent out flyers telling women to “avoid their sacred space” before the team’s Serie A home opener against Napoli on Saturday. The flyer was intended to keep women out the first 10 rows of the club’s supporter’s se...

If VAR Is Good For One Thing, It's Embarrassing Gloating Fans
Few things in life are as satisfying as stunting in the face of an opposing fan after your team does something good. One of the only things that is better is when an opposing fan preens in your face prematurely and you get to return the favor. This is why the following interactions from this weekend...

Soccer Fan Takes A Ball To The Dome And Handles It Like A Champ
I don’t know about you but if my unsuspected skull had just gotten blown the hell up by a flying soccer ball, I wouldn’t have reacted with half the poise and grace as this lady did:...

Antoine Griezmann To Carlos Vela: Wait For Me At LAFC
Atleticó Madrid pulled off an upset on Wednesday in taking down crosstown rival Real Madrid 4-2 to bring home the UEFA Super Cup. After the game, Atleticó’s star forward Antoine Griezmann dropped some fire quotes, as he tends to do during post-game celebrations. ...

New Marketing Deal Will Bring Regular Season La Liga Match To The U.S.
After years of seeing meaningful games from our own major sports shipped abroad by the greedy leagues that control them, U.S. sports fans are about to find themselves on the opposite side of that transaction. Thanks to a new marketing deal, Spain’s La Liga will play a regular season match stateside,...

D.C. United Ball Boy Does His Job A Little Too Well
There was a lot to like in D.C. United’s 4-1 win over the Portland Timbers Wednesday night, namely the continued resurgence of old man Wayne Rooney, who scored two goals, including one extremely sweet free kick. The best highlight of the night, though, came from this deadly accurate ball boy. ...

Old Man Wayne Rooney Is Thriving In MLS
Old man and Manchester United legend Wayne Rooney was supposed to be irreversibly washed. He still largely is—hence why he’s in MLS to begin with—but, still, he’s definitely been making the most out of his American sabbatical. He’s already mashed his face into bits and notched one of his career-bes...

Only Art Modell Can Save The Columbus Crew From Relocating Now
Columbus Crew SC, in conjunction with MLS czar Don Garber, has crossed one of the final checkpoints in their plan to move the team to Austin as early as next season. The Austin City Council passed a vote on Wednesday, seven to four, to pave the way for the building of a soccer-specific stadium onto ...

Anthony Precourt Gets One Step Closer To Pimping Out The Columbus Crew To Austin
Big Daddy Kane might not have thought pimping was easy, but back when he wrote that song he hadn’t seen how simple it was for the Columbus Crew’s grease-palmed owner Anthony Precourt to merely raise a hand menacingly at his current john—the city of Columbus—while also whispering of his service’s ill...

Andrés Iniesta Has Moved To Japan And Become A Golazo-Scoring Fiend
They say you can’t teach old dogs new tricks. They also say there is always one exception that proves any given rule. I don’t really know what to do with these two chestnuts but they seem relevant to the fact that Andrés Iniesta has moved to Japan and apparently transformed into Lionel Messi....

Liverpool's Low-Key Smashing Of West Ham Was A Statement Of Intent
The first game of a season that for the first time in forever feels like it might end with the long-awaited Premier League title. A match against, on paper, one of the strongest teams in the division. A home opener in what is probably the most raucous stadium in the country. A chance to put together...