screamer Page 31 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I Am Not Superstitious, But Japan <i>Definitely</i> Lost Because Its Psychic Octopus With A Perfect Record Was Killed, Sold, And Eaten
Belgium’s round-of-16 win over Japan was a shocker, with the Red Devils coming back from an 0-2 second-half hole to win 3-2 on a thrilling counter at the very end of stoppage time. It’s gotta be difficult to swallow for Japan, because that final counter—an absolute thing of beauty—came off a poorly ...
Mexico Boss Extremely Pissed About Example Neymar Sets For The Children<em></em><em></em><em></em>
If you tuned in to the earlier, less exciting World Cup game today, you might think you saw Brazil ride a fierce second half performance to a well-deserved 2-0 defeat of Mexico. But if you listen to Juan Carlos Osorio, the currently very upset manager of El Tri, what you witnessed was “an embarrass...
Romelu Lukaku Is A Genius
More than any other soccer skill, positional awareness comes with the widest gulf between how important it is to a team’s success and how readily noticeable it is to the casual fan watching at home. This is partly due to the limitations of broadcast camera angles, and partly due to the fact that sma...
Most Thrilling Half Of The World Cup Ends With Belgium Sticking A Dagger In Japan's Heart
After an uneventful first 45 minutes, Belgium and Japan put together the best half of soccer in what has already been an extremely entertaining World Cup. Belgium generated more dangerous chances and generally looked like the better team throughout the first half, but it was a cagey affair and it se...
Thai Youth Soccer Team Found Alive After Being Lost In A Cave For Nine Days
After a complicated days-long rescue mission, divers on Monday found 12 boys from a Thai soccer team and their coach. The group had been trapped in a cave in Northern Thailand for nine days....
Edinson Cavani Leads The Shithouse Kings Of Uruguay To Victory Over Portugal
Uruguay are the masters of ugly. Their style of play is defined by lining up 11 guys who want to sprint around for 90 minutes kicking the shit out of the ball and the opposition, taking the so-called beautiful game and shoulder-barging it into the muck and grime of the pitch, and trying to emerge fr...
Kylian Mbappé Annihilates Argentina And Sends France To The World Cup Quarterfinals
For a solid hour, today’s France-Argentina match didn’t make a lick of sense. Then Kylian Mbappé up and decided to impose his own order on the proceedings, and that was that. France won by a deceptive scoreline of 4-3 that doesn’t at all communicate the level of French dominance on display....
Benjamin Pavard's Incredible French Wondergoal, In Extreme Slow Motion
Yeah, yeah, we GIF’d this earlier but something this spectacular deserves the full Deadspin Video treatment. Perhaps the goal of this year’s World Cup, Frenchman Benjamin Pavard—who cashes checks from, uh, Stuttgart—hammered home this half-volley with, shall we say, elan. ...
Cancel The Rest Of The World Cup, We Don't Need Any More Goals
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Iran Striker Says He Quit National Team Because Fans' Insults Made His Mother Sick
Sardar Azmoun, a 23-year-old striker with the Iranian national team, was perhaps his country’s best hope for offense, both at this World Cup and in future competitions. But Azmoun couldn’t score a goal in any of his team’s three games, and after absorbing the fallout since Iran’s elimination, he see...
England Score Big Win By Losing To Belgium
In today’s crucial group stage match between England and Belgium, the Brits narrowly managed to come out on top by coming out on bottom of a hard-fought 1-0 loss. With this phenomenal loss, England won entry to the much weaker side of the knockout round bracket, and now have a clear lane to the Worl...
Now These World Cup Teams Are Frauds, In My Opinion
The group stage is over. Many frauds are going home. Now it’s time for the knockout rounds, where additional frauds will be eliminated. These are some of the frauds:...
FIFA's Goofy Yellow Card Rule Isn't To Blame For Senegal's World Cup Exit
Senegal got knocked out of the World Cup this afternoon after they lost to Colombia by a score of 1-0. This is a bummer, because Senegal were one of the most entertaining and likable teams in the tournament. However, Senegal have no one to blame other than themselves for how things went down....
Senegal Crashed Out Of The World Cup In The Cruelest Possible Way<em></em>
Senegal’s second-ever World Cup is over and it couldn’t feel worse. ...
Everything You Need To Know About Penalty Shootouts, Including, Just Maybe, How To Win
Let’s start in the nightmare parallel universe in which the rules of the NBA dictate that, after J.R. Smith outmuscles Kevin Durant for the rebound and dribbles out the clock in a tie game, the starting fives for the Cleveland Cavaliers and Golden State Warriors each shoot a single free throw, tally...
Philippe Coutinho Might Fuck Around And Win The World Cup For Brazil
Coming into the World Cup, the big advantage Brazil had over supposed heavy favorites Germany (ha!) and Spain was the presence of a real-deal superstar. In an international tournament, where collective attacking intricacy is in short supply, an individual’s ability to take the ball from one side of ...
Both England And Belgium Have Every Reason To Lose Tomorrow
England and Belgium will meet tomorrow at Kaliningrad Stadium in a match that will decide which team will win Group G. Both teams have scored eight goals and conceded two in a matched pair of blowout wins against Panama and Tunisia. This means that if they draw tomorrow, they will have identical goa...
Grateful Mexico Fans Are Treating South Korea Fans Like Royalty<em></em>
Despite a 3-0 loss to Sweden, Mexico fell ass-backwards into the knockout rounds because of some late heroics from an already-doomed South Korean squad. After Mexico’s fate became clear against Sweden, their fans turned their attention towards the Germany-South Korea game in hopes that the questiona...