screamer Page 41 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Screeching Moron Formerly In Charge Of U.S. Soccer Scouting Offers Braindead Anti-Messi Take
You probably aren’t familiar with Thomas Rongen, and we really wish we didn’t feel compelled to inform you of his existence. But when a gaping asshole like this has somehow amassed real, serious power at the highest levels of U.S. Soccer, and demonstrates his gross incompetence for his position in t...

Some Chelsea Fans Got Run Out Of Barcelona's Stadium By Security
Chelsea went to Camp Nou and got slapped out of the Champions League by Barcelona yesterday, and some of the Chelsea fans were feeling a bit sore after the match. ...

Lionel Messi Five-Holes Thibaut Courtois Twice As Barcelona Blow Past Chelsea
We’ll probably never know whether or not Lionel Messi really could do it on cold, wet nights in Stoke, but today we’ve been given even more evidence that he is pretty good at doing it on early spring nights in and against teams from elsewhere around England....

Tottenham Apologize For Survey Asking Fans Whether "A Woman's Place Is In The Home"
Real Madrid farm team Tottenham Hotspur have an important question to ask their fans: Is a woman’s place in the home???...

World Rejoices As Shitty Manchester United Team Knocked Out Of Champions League
Yesterday’s Manchester United-Sevilla Champions League match was the best game of the knockout rounds thus far. Not because these are two particularly great teams competing—they both are pretty bad—nor because they played especially well—the game was largely awful. No, this match was great for prett...

Sky Sports Suspends Jamie Carragher For Rest Of Season After Drive-By Spitting
After video emerged of ex-Liverpool star Jamie Carragher hocking a loogie at the car of a taunting driver and his daughter last weekend, Sky Sports announced that it had suspended Carragher—now one of its pundits—indefinitely while the company investigated the incident. Today, Sky has handed down it...

Bucs And Manchester United Owner Ed Glazer Will Host A Big Trump Reelection Fundraiser
Ed Glazer, whose family owns the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Manchester United, will host an exclusive fundraiser for Donald Trump tonight at his house in Beverly Hills. The President’s schedule and plans in Southern California are shrouded in secrecy, but he’ll spend the evening at Glazer’s $22.7 mill...

Son Heung-Min Is Playing The Best Soccer Of His Life And Having A Blast While Doing It
Any pro athlete in the major sports will tell you how fortunate they are to earn truckloads of money to participate in what are at heart kids’ games. It’s right there in the one shared verb that unites them: they get paid to “play.” However, it’s rare to find a pro athlete who actually takes to the ...

Sky Sports Suspends Jamie Carragher After He Spits At Heckler And His Daughter
Jamie Carragher, the former Liverpool legend who is now a popular TV commentator, has been suspended by Sky Sports for this video of him spitting in the direction of a 14-year-old girl whose father had been heckling Carragher while the two men were driving....

Top Greek Soccer League Suspended After Team Owner Storms Pitch With Gun On His Hip
A top-of-the-table clash between PAOK and AEK Athens in Greek’s Superleague was cut short after PAOK owner Ivan Savvidis ran onto the pitch to confront the referee while flanked with two bodyguards and with a holstered revolver on his waist. Here’s video of this peculiar Idiot On The Field incident:...

World Cup Construction Workers Go Months At A Time Without A Day Off
A consultant group serving as the “External Compliance Monitor” for the 2022 FIFA World Cup released its second annual report on Wednesday detailing labor conditions at construction sites in Qatar. The tone of the accompanying press release is positive, touting “a new spirit” and labor law reforms (...

Tottenham Blew It
Sure, at the outset of this Champions League Round of 16 pairing, Tottenham were the clear underdogs. A perennial Europa League squad, Spurs were going up against six-time defending Serie A winners Juventus, a team that had made the Champions League final in two of the past three seasons. As excitin...

Russian Team Scores Late Game-Winning Goal In Most Assholish Way Possible
Good sportsmanship: seeing an opponent fall in pain while in the process of making an easy clearance and kicking the ball out of play. Bad sportsmanship: seeing an opponent fall in pain while in the process of making an easy clearance and stealing the ball from the injured fellow in order to go scor...

Real Madrid Didn't Even Need Their Stars To Beat PSG
In the photo above, Cristiano Ronaldo can be seen sort of air-humping Casemiro in celebration of the Brazilian midfielder’s just-scored goal. Ronaldo’s exuberance was probably most aroused by the fact that his teammate’s goal gave Real Madrid a commanding position in what wound up being a comfortabl...

Ohio Sues MLS And Anthony Precourt Over The Columbus Crew's Potential Move
The state of Ohio and the city of Columbus filed a joint lawsuit against MLS and Columbus Crew owner Anthony Precourt Monday, in an attempt to keep Precourt from moving the team to Austin. Last October, Precourt said he would move the Crew to Austin for the 2019 season and beyond unless Columbus bui...

How Egypt's Strongman Is Turning Sports Into Propaganda
Imagine, if you can, the USSF and new president Carlos Cordeiro, backed by a slew of MLS owners, calling a press conference and announcing their undying loyalty to Donald Trump, and urging all American soccer fans to vote Republican in the upcoming midterm elections. While the idea may seem fantasti...
![Man Caught Jerking Off In The Stands During Bundesliga Match [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/qtse1zbtvamzot6witft.jpg)
Man Caught Jerking Off In The Stands During Bundesliga Match [NSFW]
Schalke hosted Hertha Berlin in a Bundesliga match this past Saturday. The match featured one goal, one yellow card, and one Hertha fan calmly stroking his dick in front of god and everyone in the middle of the stands:...

Mike Piazza Owns An Italian Soccer Team Now And He's Yellin' About The Rent
Baseball legend Mike Piazza purchased a lower-level soccer team in Italy last year. He became the majority shareholder of Reggiana FC, a Serie C (third division) team that has fallen on hard times in recent years. Piazza brought with him the promise of turning the club’s fortunes around, but there ...

Lionel Messi Won The League All By Himself<em></em>
It helps to take a step back now, after Barcelona have all but assured themselves yet another league title by beating second-place Atlético Madrid at home yesterday, to accurately appreciate the enormity of the situation and the incomparable superiority of Lionel Messi....

Dutch Soccer Hooligans Storm Pitch To Brawl With Players And Security Guards
The players of Dutch second-division club Go Ahead Eagles didn’t show much fight in their 4-0 home loss to De Graafschap this weekend. To remedy the situation, a handful of the home team’s most moronic fans stormed the pitch after the final whistle to try to literally beat up the opposing players wh...