screamer Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Spirit Of Lionel Messi Temporarily Departs Barça Star's Body To Inhabit That Of Valparaiso Player
This is literally the only sporting event on right now....
Manchester City Are So Much Better Than Everyone Else
The international break comes at a great time for Manchester City. They’re now coming off two consecutive Premier League matches in which they haven’t quite been able to maintain the peak altitudes they’ve hit at times during this soaring season of theirs—a relative slippage they most likely chalk u...
Reading's Fara Williams Scores A Winning Golazo Straight From Kick-Off
Reading midfielder Fara Williams scored both goals in her club’s 2-1 win over Arsenal on Sunday. Her first happened in the 52nd minute, and her second was immediately off the restart after Arsenal’s equalizer....
West Ham Set To Give David Moyes Another Chance To Fail
West Ham, despite having no reason to, have sucked for the better part of a year now. Because of this, today they’ve finally decided to fire manager Slaven Bilić. Probably a smart move. What probably isn’t a smart move is entrusting this squad of very talented attackers to David Moyes, an old, stodg...
Raheem Sterling Is Becoming The Player He Was Always Meant To Be
Raheem Sterling is a gem. He has been one of the best wide attackers in the Premier League for about five years now, boasts an athleticism and technical ability and intelligence that makes 99 percent of his peers look like stodgy goons by comparison, regularly heaps on goals and assists at a much qu...
Patrice Evra Ejected From Game Before It Even Starts After Kicking Fan In The Head
Former Manchester United defender and current Marseille player Patrice Evra will not play in his team’s Europa League match today after he channeled his inner Eric Cantona and karate kicked a fan of his own team in the face. Here’s a photo of the incident:...
Goalkeeper Openly Sobs After His Knee Explodes
You can’t really fault Club Atlas keeper Óscar Ustari for weeping like a young child whose dog just died in the middle of his team’s Liga MX match against Tigres last night, not after you see the gruesome way his kneecap just up and popped out of place during a routine kick of the ball....
Atlético Madrid Kicked Themselves In The Dick Again<em></em>
When the Champions League groups were announced, there was no doubt that Group C was going to be a tough one to advance from. With Chelsea, Roma and Atlético Madrid all battling it out for two slots, we knew that one very good team wasn’t going to be in the knockout stage. But what we didn’t expect ...
Manchester United Continue To Haunt Teenage Goalie
When we last saw 18-year-old Benfica keeper Mile Svilar all of two weeks ago, he was becoming the youngest-ever Champions League keeper in his match against Manchester United. That day quickly turned into one to forget, however, as Svilar backed into his own net while holding the ball to provide Uni...
Manchester United Will Not Go Away Quietly
First, you have a club like Manchester United, an impossibly rich and successful one that very recently was the true hegemon of English soccer but as of late has endured more humiliation than glory. Then, you couple it with a manager like José Mourinho—a legitimately legendary figure, a true visiona...
Seattle Sounders Fans With Anti-Racism, Anti-Fascism Banner Kicked Out Of Game
At Sunday’s MLS Western Conference Semifinals between the Seattle Sounders and Vancouver Whitecaps in British Columbia, two Sounders fans were removed from the stands after they hung and then refused to move a small banner that said “Anti-fascist, anti-racist, always Seattle.”...
Goalkeeper Gets Red Card For Taking A Piss In The Middle Of Match
Not many were sure why, but in the 86th minute of this weekend’s Salford City-Bradford Park Avenue match in England’s sixth-tier league, Salford keeper Max Crocombe was sent off for something that happened away from the action on the field. Soon, though, it became clear: Crocombe had taken a pee bre...
You Won't Regret Watching This Preposterous Minute Of Non-League English Soccer
Okay, I don’t want to spoil anything for you, so let me just set the scene. This is action in the North West Counties Football League of England, with Padiham down 3-1 against Widnes in the 92nd minute. Widnes, the leaders, are in yellow, while Padiham is in blue. Now watch:...
Timing Is Everything
Via reader Scott, here’s Ashland’s Cameron Mendel landing a late equalizer against Tiffin with some very fortunate placement:...
Italian Soccer Fans Ramp Up Anti-Semitism, Protest Holocaust Tributes
A passage from Anne Frank’s diary was read over the loudspeakers in Italian soccer stadiums and moments of silence were held before yesterday’s Serie A matches as a stand against recent incidents of anti-Semitism by Lazio FC supporters, but some fans turned their back and sang the Italian national a...
Scumbag Tottenham Fans Team Up To Pee In Cup, Fling It Toward Rival Fans
The following video, filmed during yesterday’s Tottenham-West Ham League Cup match, depicts one Spurs fan in attendance whipping out his schlong in the middle of the stands, peeing into a cup, and handing that cup of pee to a fellow Tottenham fan, who then flings it across the stands towards the vis...
Some Indonesian Guy Named Terens Puhiri Is Apparently The Fastest Man In The World
I don’t know much about Indonesian soccer, not even enough to be properly impressed when Wikipedia describes 21-year-old Borneo FC forward Terens Puhiri as “The Next Boaz Solossa,” but what I do know is what fast looks like. And this guy sure is fast:...
Maybe Arsenal Aren't Doomed Yet After All
If you were diagramming the worst possible scenario (which, Arsenal being Arsenal, would double as the most probable forecast for their coming campaign) for the Gunners’ season this year, you would’ve had this year being one of woe....
The Face Of Horror
A squirrel ran onto the field before today’s Manchester City-Wolves game. After the grounds crew chased it around for a while, they eventually managed to wrangle it....
Lazio FC Will Wear Shirts With Anne Frank's Face To Combat Anti-Semitism
Serie A and Lazio FC announced they’ll be taking measures to counter anti-semitism at soccer matches. This decision was spurred by an incident this weekend in which Lazio supporters “defaced their Stadio Olimpico home in Rome with anti-Semitic graffiti and stickers showing images of [Anne] Frank ......