screamer Page 67 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Semi-Pro Soccer Club Owner's Insane Pregame Speech Features R. Kelly Singalong, Threats Of Violence
We’ve all been there. Stuck in a room with coworkers or classmates, coerced into participating in some cheesy team-building exercise by a frothily manic leader seemingly halfway through an eight ball, trying to preserve some shred of dignity while feigning just enough engagement not to get yelled ou...
Berlusconi's Long Reign As AC Milan Owner Ends As China Expands Its Global Soccer Reach<em></em><em></em>
Nearly a year after the sale of storied soccer club AC Milan was first announced, and eight months after the purchase agreement was signed, a holding company controlled by former Italian Prime Minister and gross, criminal, proto-Trump Silvio Berlusconi finalized a deal with Chinese investors, repres...
Cristiano Ronaldo Is Old And Slow And Still The Best
Because of the enduring nature of athletic greatness, it’s often difficult to notice in real time the inevitable fall as the best players slip from amazing to very good to eventually old and bad. The greatest players are great for so long, then begin to peter off so subtlety before the inexorable ef...
Dortmund's Nuri Şahin<em></em> Gives Emotional Interview Day After Team Bus Attacked
Borussia Dortmund midfielder Nuri Şahin played in his team’s Champions League match against Monaco today. The game had been postponed from its originally scheduled date of yesterday after the Dortmund team bus was attacked with some sort of explosive devices. In the interview above, given immediatel...
Bring On The Barcelona Meltdown
Not even two whole months after the last time the sky over Catalonia was falling, Barcelona find themselves spiraling downward into a state of anxiety and dread. And while that time the Atlases in Barça’s squad were able to hold the sky up in the most improbable of circumstances, this time it might ...
Dortmund Fans Gladly Host Traveling Monaco Fans After Champions League Game Delayed By Explosions
Dortmund’s Champions League quarterfinal match against Monaco this afternoon was canceled after their team bus was hit by three explosions on its way to the stadium. According to the latest out of Dortmund, Marc Bartra had to undergo surgery for a broken wrist and officials are working to verify the...
Barcelona Are In Trouble Yet Again After Getting Destroyed By Paulo Dybala And Juventus<em></em>
Led by Paulo Dybala’s brilliant first-half brace, Juventus crushed Barcelona 3-0 in the first leg of the Champions League quarterfinal in Turin. Fresh off a wild comeback against Paris Saint Germain, the Catalan side will now have to clamber out of yet another steep goal deficit if they want to move...
Will Falling Out Of The Top Four Be Enough To Bring Change To Arsenal?<em></em>
Now seems like as good a time as any to call it, even if it’s not out of the realm of possibility just quite yet: For the first time in 21 years, and the first time in Arsène Wenger’s incredibly long and storied career in England, Arsenal will not finish in the top four....
Explosion Near Borussia Dortmund Bus Cancels Champions League Match, Reportedly Injures Marc Bartra
An explosion went off near the Borussia Dortmund team bus this afternoon in Dortmund, Germany, a little less than two hours before the club was scheduled to take on AS Monaco in the Champions League quarterfinals. The match has been canceled, and rescheduled for tomorrow. ...
Neymar Gets Three-Game Suspension, Will Miss Match Against Real Madrid
Neymar picked the absolute worst time to lose his cool. After picking up two cheap yellow cards in a match against Málaga and sarcastically applauding one of the referees on his way off the pitch, Neymar has been handed a three-match suspension today. That means he’ll have to sit out Barcelona’s cri...
CONCACAF Wants No-Bid Deal To Host World Cup
The joint* USA/Mexico/Canada Cup bid is the favorite to land the expanded 2026 World Cup, but the organizers would like to take no chances: They’re planning to ask FIFA to speed up the awarding process by three years, and to accept no other bids for the tournament....
Giuseppe Rossi, America's Lost Star, Touches The Sky And Falls Back To Earth, Again
There are two times American fans of European soccer are reminded of Giuseppe Rossi, boundlessly talented yet heartbreakingly star-crossed striker and The One That Got Away. One reason is good and the other one is bad, and both prompts were recently triggered in the span of a single, exultant-turned...
Everton Star Ross Barkley Got Punched Out At Liverpool Bar In "Unprovoked Attack"
Everton’s Ross Barkley was attacked at a bar last night in a scrap the midfielder’s lawyer claims was “unprovoked.” In the above video of the incident, you can see Barkley calmly talking with another man before the man starts swinging on Barkley seemingly out of nowhere....
Marc Albrighton Free Kick Stunner Caps Wild Opening Ten Minutes Of Everton-Leicester City
Four goals have been scored in the first 24 minutes of today’s Everton-Leicester City match, but none more impressive than Marc Albrighton’s free kick that beat Joel Robles in the tenth minute. That’s after a streaking Kevin Mirallas set up Tom Davies in the opening minute to give Everton a short-li...
Chelsea Training Features Sack-Tapping, Shit-Wrecking Hijinks
David Luiz and Diego Costa are, by all physical appearances, large adult men. Judging them by their behavior, though, you’d think they were mentally somewhere between the ages of 4 and 13. For evidence of this, here is Luiz whacking teammate John Terry in the nuts for fun:...
U.S. Strikes Pound Russian Defense
The U.S. has relentlessly pounded Russia’s defense with strikes as the American women commanded the first half of their international friendly tonight, carrying a 3-0 lead into halftime....
Eldense Coach Insists 12-0 Loss Wasn't Fixed, Says Barca B Refused To Abide By Mercy Rule
In the last week, Spanish Segunda Division club Eldense were thrashed 12-0 by Barcelona B, accused of fixing the match, and saw their coach and manager arrested and charged with corruption. (Two players and another coach were arrested Wednesday.) Despite evidence to the contrary, Eldense coach Fili...
Soccer Pundits Appropriately Bewildered By Referee's Penalty Boner
Newcastle United played Burton Albion yesterday in a match noteworthy only for one particularly galling error made by head referee Keith Stroud. These Sky Sports pundits discussing the mistake on air were just as bemused by the incident as the moment called for....
Report: The U.S., Mexico, And Canada Plan To Submit Joint Bid To Host 2026 World Cup
The Guardian spoke with CONCACAF president Victor Montagliani, who confirmed what has long been speculated: the U.S., Mexico, and Canada plan on submitting a joint bid to host the 2026 World Cup....
Lionel Messi And Luis Suárez Are Extremely Good At Soccer
Barcelona and Sevilla, respectively the second- and fourth-placed teams in La Liga, are midway through what on paper should’ve been a tense, tough match. Only one of those teams has Lionel Messi and Luis Suárez, so it’s already a blowout thanks to those the genius of those two....