screamer Page 71 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
USWNT Concedes A Pair Of Easy Goals To France
France took a 2-0 lead against the United States Women’s National Team into halftime tonight without having to do much besides let Eugénie Le Sommer run at the USWNT’s center backs and let them fall over themselves to give her easy paths to goal. It started in the seventh minute, when Allie Long got...
Seasons Where Arsenal Finished Fourth And Got Knocked Out In The Round Of 16, Ranked
Somehow, it’s only happened four times....
Arsenal's Champions League Comeback Fantasy Ruined By Penalty And Red Card
Welp, it was fun while it lasted. Despite putting together a lively first-half display, the last vestiges of what little hope Arsenal had of beating Bayern Munich by a huge margin died in this sequence of events early in the second half:...
Atlanta United Fans Break Out Homophobic Chant During Inaugural Game
Atlanta’s new MLS team made its debut on Sunday, losing to the New York Red Bulls 2-1 in front of 55,000 new fans. Some fans cheered the team on and enjoyed themselves, some fans continued to engage in embarrassing “football” cosplay, and some fans got homophobic....
Fence Defeats Orlando City Fan
This Orlando City fan went for a shortcut, and paid dearly. The prolonged dusting of his clothes is an admirable effort in trying to play it off like nothing happened....
Honestly I Hope Most Of The Young USMNTers Suck Because I Hate Their Names<em></em>
The young boys on the USMNT U20 team won their age group’s CONCACAF Championship this weekend. Which, for diehard American soccer fans, should be great, being a good omen for the future and all. But fuck that. I never want to root for anyone with one of these nearly universally terrible names....
Soccer Comes To Atlanta
Dennis Schröder and Monica enjoy the festivities during The Atlanta United FC’s inaugural game, while a bored-looking Yung Joc poses next to them, seeming to belie his claim that “anywhere you meet me, guaranteed to go down.”...
Alexis Sánchez Is Almost Certainly Gone, Because Arsenal Are A Joke<em></em>
It’s no big shock that Arsenal emerged from their marquee matchup against Liverpool as the story of the weekend, albeit not in the way the Gunners would’ve liked. The result of that match and its surrounding context means this could prove a pivotal moment in the future of the club and its best playe...
Your Goal Of The Day Comes From The Colombian League
César Carrillo gave his Jaguares side a 1-0 lead over Millonarios with a golazo from distance that brought a, uh, modestly full Estadio Jaraguay to a frenzy....
Now, If Only Liverpool Could Stop Losing To Minnows
On consecutive days in August, Liverpool defeated Barcelona 4-0 and lost to Mainz 0-4 in exhibition matches. Seven months later, it is clear those results were an eerie foreshadowing of how Liverpool’s season would play out....
After Getting His Head Stomped On, Zlatan Ibrahimović Explains Elbowing Tyrone Mings: "It Was Unlucky He Jumped Into My Elbow"
Both Tyrone Mings and Zlatan Ibrahimović somehow avoided penalties after swapping some nasty plays in Manchester United and Bournemouth’s 1-1 draw today. After first clashing when Ibrahimović seemingly pushed Mings to the ground, things really got heated just before halftime when Ibrahimović tripped...
U.S. Soccer Youngster Wallops In The Goal Of A Lifetime
The United States’ U-20 team is taking on El Salvador for a spot in the U-20 World Cup tonight, and they’ll be through to the tournament if they do anything besides lose by multiple goals. If they win or draw, they’ll play Honduras for the CONCACAF U-20 championship. ...
Fernando Torres's Severe Head Injury Sends Fellow Players Into A Panic
Late on in today’s Atlético Madrid-Deportivo match, Fernando Torres clashed with a Deportivo player while going up for a header, and fell face first onto the ground, apparently unconscious. The way Torres fell itself is nasty, but it’s the distraught reaction of the players who saw the injury up clo...
Antoine Griezmann Follows Up Teammate's Near-Miss Wondergoal With Wondergoal Of His Own
Just when it looked like Atlético Madrid would come away empty handed after a deep blast from full back Filipe Luís came crashing off the woodwork, Antoine Griezmann responded almost immediately with an even more audacious hit of his own that sailed over the keeper’s head and into the back of the ne...
Mesut Özil Recounts Ridiculously Dramatic Tiff With José Mourinho In New Book
If you hear about this anecdote from Mesut Özil’s forthcoming autobiography excerpted in Bild, it will probably focus on the fact that when Özil and José Mourinho were at Real Madrid, they once got into an argument in which Mourinho called Özil a coward. This is true, and pretty interesting in itsel...
Mud Pit Makes Big Save Against Paris Saint-Germain
Paris Saint-Germain, one of the best teams in the world, who, you’ll remember, just trounced Barcelona 4-0 in the first leg of the Champions League Round of 16, were forced to play the so-called beautiful game on a pitch that resembles the vacant lot next to the shopping center in your hometown....
How Luis Enrique Lost His Place At Barcelona
It’s seemed pretty likely for a while now, and became all but inevitable after the humiliation in Paris last month, but it is now official: Barcelona manager Luis Enrique will not coach the team next season....
Keeper Gets Way Too Mad About Giving Up Goal
Even way down in the ninth tier of English soccer, players do not like to lose. Case in point: Cray Valley Paper Mills FC goalkeeper Jordan Carey’s reaction to this Ashford United goal:...
This Horrendous Atlanta United Fan Chant Is The Nadir Of American "Football" Cosplay
If you haven’t yet grasped why American soccer’s penchant for ripping off European fan culture without any of the history or tradition from which the real culture emerged is so embarrassing—think MLS team names like Sporting KC and D.C. United, or incidents like New York Red Bulls “ultras” tossing g...
The Bee Plays Soccer
Scientists, in their never-ending quest to replace all fields of human achievement with our new insect overlords, have studied the best way to teach a bee to play soccer....