screamer Page 73 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Arsène Wenger Says He Will Manage Next Season, But Maybe Not At Arsenal
Arsenal had a big match in the Champions League on Wednesday, which is another way of saying Arsenal were yet again monumentally embarrassed in a huge moment. Arsenal are also right about at the start of the end stretch of their season, which is another way of saying that Arsenal are already out of ...

Zlatan Ibrahimović Scores Hat Trick, Is Dad<em></em>
Today in Manchester United’s Europa League knockout match against Saint-Étienne, Zlatan Ibrahimović scored about the most unremarkable hat trick you’re likely to see. A poorly taken free kick that deflected in, a tap-in off a rebound, and a penalty. But the goals, bland as they were, aren’t the poin...

Bad Fan Hocks Loogie Straight Into Face Of Soccer Player
This video of some typically crude and unsporting behavior in Argentina is queued up to begin where the real action starts, but if you’d like a little backstory, you can skip back to the beginning. On the other hand, if you just want to see a dude spit in a player’s face, just hit play and let it ri...

Alexis Sánchez Does Two Bad Things, Saves Self By Doing Good Thing
Arsenal’s Alexis Sánchez had a chance to level up the game against Bayern Munich with a penalty. He took a bad one, and it was saved. Oops! Thankfully, the ball bounced kindly into his path for an easy rebound. Only he botched that with a whiffed shot. Oops again! The soccer gods smiled on Alexis, t...

Arjen Robben Teaches Arsenal Why You Can't Let Him Cut In On His Left Foot
Yes, everyone knows it’s coming. And everyone also knows that the whole point is that even though everyone knows it’s coming, it’s still impossible to stop. And yet it remains hard to watch a team allow Arjen Robben to get onto his left foot and do what he always does, as he’s just done to Arsenal:...

Soccer Team Boned By Ref Who Allowed Idiot On The Field To Score Goal
Motagua were on the cusp of sealing a big win late into their match against rivals Olimpia in the Honduran league last week. Then, up 2-1 with just seconds remaining, the Motagua keeper was beaten by two shots that hit the back of his net almost simultaneously. One goal was the equalizer, scored by ...

Clint Dempsey Cleared To Return After Heart Problem
After being sidelined in September 2016 for the remainder of the MLS season with an irregular heartbeat, Seattle Sounders and U.S. men’s national team forward Clint Dempsey has been cleared to return....

Ángel Di María And PSG Kick Barcelona's Dicks Clean Off
For years Paris Saint-Germain have spared no expense in their efforts to realize their dream of winning the Champions League. For years they’ve failed, putting out attack-minded teams that crush domestic foes in Ligue 1 but consistently come up short in the competition they really want to win. And w...

Leicester City Are Having A Garbage Season
The fairy tale of last season was real. Leicester City—such a preposterously unlikely underdog that even the instinctive Cinderella comparison feels like a woefully insufficient metaphor for the sheer absurdity of a small, recently promoted club beating Manchester United and Chelsea and Arsenal and ...

Italian Soccer Guy Scores Most Bellissimo Goal Of His Vita
Mamma mia! Here’s Perugia forward Francesco Nicastro serving up the spiciest of meatballs with this outrageous jumping, spinning, backheel volley in Italy’s Serie B:...

Sadio Mané Steamrolled Tottenham All By Himself
Lately, the soccer-watching world has been in the midst of a (quite understandable) inquest into the mysterious affliction affecting Liverpool in 2017. It seemed like once the calendar switched, the club that had most convincingly staked its claim as the Premier League’s second-best team this season...

Fernando Torres Goes Back In Time, Scores Gorgeous Overhead Goal
Atlético Madrid got an early equalizer against Celta de Vigo today when Fernando Torres tapped into his past greatness to flip an overhead strike and loft it past keeper Sergio Álvarez. Fancy! Maybe he’ll get that new contract after all....

Two Minutes After Tweeting "Game Over," Sunderland Got Scored On Again
Here is Sunderland nearing the end of today’s match against Southampton:...

Finally, Someone Appears Ready To Unleash The Full Powers Of Gerard Deulofeu
It’s been an up-and-down year in an up-and-down career for the magnificently gifted, maddeningly daft, infinitely enamoring young winger Gerard Deulofeu. ...

Italian Guy Tries To Scheme His Way Into Hospital To Watch Soccer Game From Window, Fails
Most of the time when someone pretends to be sick so as to gain admission to a hospital, it’s to finagle their way into a prescription for drugs to slake an addiction. Yesterday, one Italian man tried something similar, though his addiction is to soccer and his satisfaction could be found right ther...

MLS's Simple Transfer Rules Explained In One Handy Chart
Wonder why some college soccer players are drafted into MLS while others are signed outright? Or why some players coming from overseas have their MLS destinations selected for them while others personally handpick the team they’ll play for?...

American Liverpool Fan's Adam Lallama Tattoo Is Dumb And Amazing At The Same Time
Adam Lallama. Adam Lallama. A llama, with Adam Lallana’s face. I’m almost tearing up over the beauty of it all....

Hometown Kid Jesé Introduces Himself To Las Palmas Fans With An Awful Miss
In the 67th minute of Monday’s Granada-Las Palmas La Liga match, PSG loanee Jesé stepped onto the pitch for the first time with his new club Las Palmas. That moment was the culmination of Jesé’s life journey so far, one that started in the city of Las Palmas, went through Madrid, took a short detour...

Romelu Lukaku Is The New King Of England<em></em>
If you are a close follower of Everton or the career of the Toffees’ big striker, Romelu Lukaku, you’ve become familiar with a certain set of criticisms that often get lobbed in Lukaku’s direction: He doesn’t run enough. He needs to improve his hold-up play. He only wants to score goals....

Manchester City Supporters Praise Jesus After Stoppage-Time Goal
Manchester City pulled out a win over Swansea City after Jesus showed no mercy to keeper Łukasz Fabiański and knocked in a rebound in the 92nd minute to give the home supporters a 2-1 win to go crazy about....