screamer Page 76 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Missouri Governor-Elect Takes Bazooka To MLS Hopeful's Stadium Financing Plans
Missouri’s recently elected governor, Republican Eric Greitens, is a former Navy SEAL, a devoted humanitarian, and a man who ran a campaign ad that was just 20 seconds of him firing a Gatling gun. All of that means he doesn’t take any shit, not when justice is at stake. The vampires trying to suck o...

Diego Costa And Eden Hazard Are Good As Hell Again
Remember this past summer, when Chelsea were reportedly sniffing around every big-name striker out there in an effort to find a replacement for the once-feared, maybe-fallen (and possibly fat?) Diego Costa, who just a couple season ago looked like a legit (and arguably literal) world-beater? And whe...

Good God, This Olivier Giroud Backheel Volley Is Gorgeous
Early in today’s Arsenal game against Crystal Palace, Olivier Giroud offered this work of art:...

IV Treatment Center Might Have Helped Samir Nasri Cheat In More Ways Than One<em></em>
Things are only getting worse for Samir Nasri....

Bob Bradley Fired By Swansea City
Less than three months after becoming the first American to manage a club in the Premier League, Bob Bradley has been sacked by Swansea today. Unfortunately, it is well-deserved....

Henrikh Mkhitaryan Was Offside But Who Cares Because This Goal Was Dope<em></em>
Henrikh Mkhitaryan has only gotten a handful of Premier League starts this season, a fact that has given United fans good reason to grumble. After you see the goal he scored against Sunderland today, you’ll understand why they want him on the pitch more often....

Reports: BIG SAM BACK
Sky Sports and the BBC are reporting that the inevitable will soon be made official: Crystal Palace, a single day after canning Alan Pardew, will appoint former England manager (that really happened, right?) and relegation zone escape artist Sam Allardyce as their next manager....

Chinese Club Buys Oscar For Ungodly Sum Of Money And Nothing Makes Sense Anymore
The insanity of the Chinese Super League’s all-out assault on the traditional soccer hierarchy continues apace. All of it is shocking and none of it makes sense but this does indeed appear to be the new reality....

José Mourinho Compliments Chelsea For Playing Like A José Mourinho Team
As José Mourinho has made abundantly clear recently, the Special One is a little peeved by the double standard to which he’s subjected by the media and public. When his teams play defensively-sound soccer it’s criticized, called pragmatic and ugly; when other teams do so, it’s lauded as being smart ...

Alan Pardew Sacked At Crystal Palace After Not Doing Jack Shit With Lots Of Money
After two years of up-and-down management of Crystal Palace (the “up” referring to his swashbuckling midseason heroism of his first few months at the club which brought the Eagles out of danger and led them to 10th place in the table, and the “down” the current campaign that has them teetering on th...

Mario Balotelli Takes Break From Doing Good Mario Things, Does Bad Mario Thing
Mario Balotelli is still thriving out in France, scoring eight goals in nine league appearances for out-of-nowhere Ligue 1 leaders Nice, so things aren’t all bad. What is maybe a little bad is that yesterday, for the first time this season, Good Mario gave way to Bad Mario, when the Italian striker ...

Bayern Munich Player Passes Ball To Advertisement
Things move fast in the wild world of sport. Sometimes you just react to a flash of color. Bayern Munich’s Thiago Alcántara saw a man in red streaking down the pitch, thought to himself “I’m wearing red,” and passed him the ball....

Julian Green To Officially Begin His Career By Leaving Bayern Munich
Julian Green was never going to make it at Bayern Munich. He is a fairly promising homegrown prospect at a club that (at least historically) values integrating players developed in-house, but he’s also a not all that talented player—not enough to consistently earn developmental minutes at one of the...

Real Madrid's Transfer Ban Reduced To One Window
Real Madrid’s appeal of a FIFA-imposed two-window transfer ban for violations in the signing of foreign youth players has been successful, as the Court of Arbitration for Sport today reduced that initial penalty to a single window, citing errors in FIFA’s investigation as justification for why they ...

Messi And Suárez Return To Japanese Game Show To Do More Wacky Shit
Japanese game shows remain the best exhibitions of crazy soccer skills. ...

Lionel Messi Is God
Seriously, there’s nothing more to say. Just look at what he did to Espanyol’s whole team yesterday:...

The Arsenaling Of Arsenal's Season Has Begun
“It’s a horrible week,” Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger admitted after losing to a short-handed and off-form Manchester City team on Sunday—this just a few days after losing to an off-form Everton team in similarly depressing fashion. As expected, this season that looked like it might be The One is be...

Liverpool Are A Tank, And Adam Lallana Is The Engine<em></em>
It would be hard to argue that Adam Lallana is Liverpool’s best player. That designation should probably go to Philippe Coutinho, who seems to have finally internalized the concept of shot quality, and if not him then Sadio Mané, the curiously underappreciated wide forward who dominates nearly every...

Can Anyone In The Premier League Catch Chelsea?
Chelsea had a rough September. After starting out their first EPL season under Antonio Conte with three up-and-down wins, they tied lowly Swansea, then lost two in a row to Liverpool and Arsenal. With both of those teams resurgent and Manchester City rounding into form under Pep Guardiola, it appear...

Soccer Guy Loses Mind After Game, Suddenly Thinks He's In A Kung Fu Movie
Look closely and you can see the exact moment that Mumbai City striker Thiago Cunha, mere moments after losing on aggregate to Atlético de Kolkata in the Indian Super League semifinals, completely forgets that he’s in a soccer game and instead becomes convinced that he’s the star of some martial art...