screamer Page 83 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mario Balotelli Scores Two More Goals, Remains On Fire
Mario Balotelli has always been kind of a headcase. Of late, his nuttiness has unfortunately overshadowed his undeniable abilities. But now, after commemorating his second start with his new club Nice with his second two-goal match, it’s beginning to look like maybe Balo is more crazy good than just...
Christian Pulisic Is Too Good To Be Underhyped
It wasn’t even two whole weeks ago that Borussia Dortmund manager Thomas Tuchel sought to keep the hype flames being stoked by eager Christian Pulisic fans under control. Sure, it’s neat that Pulisic has done well with the USMNT, I guess, Tuchel basically said. But let’s be real: he was doing it aga...
Yaya Touré Won't Play For Man City Again Unless His Shit-Talking Agent Apologizes
After new Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola left Yaya Touré off City’s Champions League roster, Touré’s agent, Dimitri Seluk, said his client was humiliated:...
Great And Loyal Soccer Dog Is A Better Goalkeeper Than Human Counterpart
Look at this cute little Chilean puppy, recognizing that the keeper on the team he supports was in trouble, and channeling his inner Air Bud by running out onto the pitch and making a clutch play to save the day. Good doggie....
Daniel Sturridge Stars In Hilarious Liverpool Rap Trivia Video
I know this Liverpool Hip-Hop Quiz video is long, but trust me, you’ll want to watch it. In part to see Daniel Sturridge’s pretty-good rap knowledge best Joe Gomez’s and Nathaniel Clyne’s bad-to-horrible grasp of the genre, but mostly because Sturridge is super funny and super cool and so obviously ...
Manchester United Have A Wayne Rooney Problem
Despite what you may have heard, Wayne Rooney does not in fact suck. He remains a really good Premier League player who is very smart and boasts a unique skill set that can be quite valuable to the right team. However, he was really bad in Manchester United’s 3-1 loss to Watford, and it’s becoming i...
Edinson Cavani Scores 4 Goals In First Half, Somehow Still Looks Kinda Bad
Finally, the Soccer Gods have seen fit to smile upon poor old Edinson Cavani. For the Uruguayan striker’s brave and unrelenting tilt at the enormous metaphorical windmill that has been tormenting him—gusting his first touches four yards further than required, blowing wide shots that should be gimme ...
Jordan Henderson Scores Dipping Rocket From Distance
Surprisingly, that is Jordan Henderson—not Philippe Coutinho—scoring a beautiful curling, dipping effort from almost 30 yards to put Liverpool up 2-0 away at Chelsea. ...
Blind Brazilian Soccer Man Scores A Couple Bangers In The Paralympics
Meet Jefinho, the blind soccer five-a-side player who’s been called the “Paralympic Pelé.” In the semifinals of a Paralympics against China, Jefinho demonstrated how he earned such a lofty moniker by dusting the entire Chinese defense before cracking in a shot from distance—twice....
U.S. Soccer Lashes Out Against Megan Rapinoe For Kneeling During Anthem
Megan Rapinoe knelt Thursday night during the national anthem, her first time doing so in a U.S. Women’s National Team uniform, and U.S. Soccer was quick to make its frustration known. She first knelt during the anthem earlier this month, expressing her support for Colin Kaepernick before an NWSL ga...
Mighty Manchester United Back In Soccer's NIT; Back To Taking Ls Against Inferior Opponents
José Mourinho made it perfectly clear before his Manchester United took on Feyenoord in the none-too-eminent Europa League exactly how few fucks he, his players, and his club gave about Europe’s JV continental competition. Karma responded, in its typically darkly funny way, by handing United yet ano...
Leicester City Aren't Done Yet
Leicester City won the Premier League last season, so this year they’re in the Champions League. Let me repeat that: Leicester City, a team that three seasons ago was happily dashing about in England’s second tier, somehow plucked up more points than Manchester United and Arsenal and Liverpool and C...
Edinson Cavani Is A Hero
Maybe we’ve been looking at this all wrong. Maybe Edinson Cavani—the once world-bestriding striker who now seems trapped in his own private purgatory, one where his intelligent movement and powerful runs allow him to crash through defenses at will, only for all semblance of confidence and skill and ...
Evil Person Ruins Lionel Messi's Career In Video Game
One of the chief appeals of the much-beloved video game series Football Manager is seeing how this meticulously-researched game that goes to absurd lengths for realism forecasts the future, and how you, by way of your invented manager avatar, can affect that future. Usually, gamers accomplish this t...
Here's Barcelona, Literally Walking The Ball Into The Net
Great goals come in all shapes and sizes. A particularly satisfying kind of wondergoal is the one where the players tip-tap the ball between each other, snaking their way through the entire defense with technique and quickness rather than brute physicality, and only sliding the ball over the goal li...
Soccer Man Gets Extremely Hyped About This Dope Thing He Just Did
It’s not often that defenders are the architects of highlight reel-quality plays, and seeing as an acrobatic goal-line clearance is basically the defensive equivalent of a golazo for an attacker, it makes sense that Bursaspor’s Aziz Behich was super pumped after pulling off this amazing feat:...
Mario Balotelli Is Back, Baby!
The shirt colors look familiar but the team is different, and so are the country and the pressure and the expectations, and maybe even the player, too. Mario Balotelli is back on the soccer field for the first time in a long time, and he’s doing good things for the first time in even longer....
Romelu Lukaku Smashes Sunderland, And Everton Might Be Pretty Good This Season
Sunderland were terrible. Their defending was appalling all game, most obviously on Everton’s third goal. Who the hell is marking Romelu Lukaku here?...
Thankfully, The Manchester Derby Wasn't All About José Mourinho And Pep Guardiola
It’s more than a little understandable that the narrative buildup coming into this weekend’s Manchester Derby was centered on the game as a managerial showdown. Yes, the two iconic managers of this generation—José Mourinho and Pep Guardiola, two legitimate soccer geniuses who famously and furiously ...
Payet Rabona Assist!
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